The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #3 🐧🐧The Penguin Huddle 🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

New thread as the last one is nearing the max number of posts.

This is a supportive and safe space for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread though and have suffered a loss and are anxious about your new pregnancy please feel free to join the huddle 🐧

So ladies, I hope you are all here for the long haul until our 🌈 are delivered (and beyond if you fancy sticking around).

Let's pull on our positive pants and nerves of steel.

I'll start the roll call of EDD from the last thread:
@Melpops3638 - EDD 5/12/2019
@Beaglemum93 - 25 - EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81 - 38 - EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - 36 - EDD 3/01/20 but having an elective section so likely to be 27/12/19
@theAntsareMyFriends - 35 - EDD 04/02/2020
@Laney79 - 40 - EDD 6/1/2020 (but elective section so likely to be 30/12/19)
@Bluebelltulip - 29 - EDD 9/1/2020 likely induction 2 weeks earlier
@moonpeace - 37 - EDD 23/01/20
@KnitKitty- 31 - EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21 - 38 - EDD 6/2/2020 (if c-section circa. 31/1/2020)
@Zznorth - 29 - EDD 17/02/20
@InDreamland- 39 - EDD 18/02/20
@Tinatsarina - 29 - EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer - 29 - EDD 29/02/20
@duvetcaterpillar - 34 - EDD 27/03/2020

Also tagging: @rubyroot @sadtoday21 @Catconfusion @boboelephant @Yukka @Russkispy @VenusStarr @Beaglemum93 @Squiff70 @Navy123 @Bellasblankexpression

So sorry if I've missed anyone. I've tried to include as many as I could.

@sadtoday21 thanks for asking, my dating scan is tomorrow afternoon so I'm feeling quite anxious about that. Not helped by an afternoon off work today! But planning on going out for the evening to hopefully keep my mind off of it.

How are you feeling about your nipt results?

@strawberrye wishing you the very best of luck for tomorrow!! I know nothing I can say can take away the anxiety of it all, but you will get through it and see the little one wriggling around! Good that you are going out tonight to take your mind off it as much as possible! I tried to do this too (it was our anniversary so we went out), but still failed miserably to think about anything else. What time is your scan?

I'm feeling really nervous about the results - I don't see why they can't take your blood earlier and give you the results at the scan. The waiting is pure torture. I think I have to wait 1 day and 1.5 hours until I can start to relax (just a little), as would most likely have heard bad news by then. How are you feeling about the nipt?

@rubyroot only a short time left to go! You've been so patient :)

@sadtoday21 aw thanks. It's weird how time just slows down when waiting for these things isn't it? Have you got anything to take your mind off of it? I guess no news is good news at this point too!

I didn't have NIPT, just having the NHS screening as I am 28 and personally felt what they offer was satisfactory for my age :)

Well, scan yesterday went well - now put me at 8+5 so 2 days ahead of last time. Just glad all is growing well!

Had my booking appt today with such a lovely midwife, she was so understanding of various issues and sounds like she will help make things much easier than last time. Fingers crossed anyway!

Hope everyone here is well - sorry @janey15 to hear you're feeling so sick but glad you've been signed off. Rest!

@strawberrye no news is good news, so that's what I'm hoping for this week! I actually didn't have the NIPT either, just the combined test on NHS (31 yrs old and also felt it was the best option for me).

Thanks @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I've seen a few people have never got 3+ but went to on have healthy babies. I know for a fact if I do a cbd next week and it's still 2-3 then I'll be panicking 🙈 I've a scan next Friday though so hopefully that'll reassure me.

@janey15 sorry you're feeling so unwell get plenty of fluids and rest x

@Kayjay2018 I know what you mean 😓 I can't help it. It's just pure anxiety and lack of patience lol. But hopefully all will be fine.

The midwife left me a voicemail today saying she can see the receptionists have booked me in for an appointment next week (the meeting I finally managed to arrange yesterday) but it's only a 20 minute meeting which isn't long enough so she's cancelled it. WTF 😖 then I rang the GP surgery to say can you just explain to her that it's not a booking in appointment I just have some questions. But they said 'we don't manage her diary, it's not our job to tell her that, if she thinks it's not long enough it's not long enough.' But they were the ones that booked it in!

I gave up and phoned the epu instead and they agreed I could self refer but suggested next week and I said yes before I realised I'll only be 6.5 weeks. It seems like it's too early to be reassuring since the other miscarriages stopped developing at 8 weeks. Should I ring and see if they can do a later one? I feel like I'm being made to feel like a pain in the ass :(

Hi ladies! Just been for my private early scan and burst into tears when the sonographer pointed out the tiny flickering heartbeat. As we never got to see it the first time round it was an amazing experience although still feeling incredibly nervous. Like @janey15 my dates came up a week behind - I know I must be 7 weeks today but it only measured 5+6, though I know from your previous comments to ignore the measurements. I was 5+6 then I would have had my BFP one day after ovulation!
Booking appointment is tomorrow as by my LMP dates I would be 8 weeks. Thinking I might go for another private scan in a couple of weeks time as 4+ weeks feels like a very long time to wait.....
Have had a splitting headache today (no doubt anxiety based) but am off to acupuncture now so hoping that might calm me down!

Hope you're all ok - saw a big rainbow in the sky on the way to my scan, hopefully it's a sign for us all.....

@Dimblebimble if it’s what you’d prefer I’d definitely push it forward a week. I’d ring back and explain and I’m sure they would be happy enough. They usually prefer you to be closer to the 8 week mark anyway x

@Avocuddles dating early is so difficult I was measuring a bit behind by a few days the the following week I caught up and now I’m a few days ahead, but seeing a heartbeat is brilliant and reassuring although I do understand the nerves. Pregnancy after a loss is so hard. I’m sure baby will catch up on dates at your next scan x

@sadtoday21 absolutely nothing, no news. Been refreshing my emails like a crazy woman all day. So anxious now I really hope they come tomorrow. Anything through for you this afternoon?

I had my 12 week midwife appointment today and she told me they don’t do nuchal scan measurements due to our abortion laws here, I never knew this but apparently it’s always been that way. But so glad to see baby again he or she is really starting to look like a little human x

Ooh @Ginmonkey84 great news, where are you? @InDreamland We need a new thread :)

@rubyroot I’m in Northern Ireland so a little behind the times here in terms of legislation! X

Thank you so much for the comfort and reassurance, all of you. I couldn't bring myself to ring today in case they tod me something was wrong on the scan. I am sure he would have told us but there's always that nagging doubt. I may ring tomorrow.

Great scan pics @Avocuddles and Ginmonkey84! @Avocuddles, try not to tie yourself in knots over dates. At my first scan the babies measured a day behind, second scan three days ahead of that and yesterday's scan FOUR days ahead of THAT. I am absolutely certain of my dates (LMP) so some babies delevop a litle bit faster and some a bit slower - it doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong. The fact that you saw a heartbeat must be quite reassuring. Scans are great but they are bloody terrifying. I lie there shaking and hyperventilating with fear every single time.

Good luck with your dating scan tomorrow @strawberrye! Let us know how you get on.

@janey15 I'm sorry to read that you're feeling so rubbish. I hope you feel better soon!

@sadtoday21 I don't have a blue book. I have a folder with my maternity notes in but they didn't put the nuchal measurements on the scan report. I was only 11+2 yesterday and didn't even know I was having a scan until I got there. I've got another scan at 13+4 for the NT test etc but I'm going to ring my midwife first thing in the morning and see if that needs pringing forward by a couple of days.

Thanks @Squiff70 and @Ginmonkey84. I've worked myself into quite a panic over the dates being so out. A week feels a really long time as this early a stage and I've gone from feeling elated at the heartbeat to terrified that something is going wrong. I'm hoping if I explain my fears to the midwife tomorrow she might be able to get me an nhs early scan. The private clinic was great but at the end of the day it's not a medical setting so I would like a hospital one if possible....

@Ginmonkey84 your scan picture is great, glad all is looking ok

@Avocuddles @Ginmonkey84 it's lovely to see your scan photos. I hope the rainbow is a good sign!

@fnej01 I think I remember you giving me some advice/support on the ttc thread when I knew I had an auto immune issue? Can I ask about the meds you are on? My gp hadn't originally tested for APS so rheumatologist got me to have a blood test for it yesterday - my gp mention baby aspirin may be what's needed- is that what you use? Is there anything else? I'm questioning whether to get a quick private appointment with an obstetrician to get some advice (don't think go is getting anywhere with advice from local hospital - they sent through a gynaecology appt for 4th October which they've now moved to 23rd! That might be too late (or I might not really need them anyway).

@Kayjay2018 I'm on baby aspirin - my issue is with clotting rather than a known autoimmune one though may potentially have APS. I take the baby aspirin alongside enoxaparin injections and was told to start ASAP, so I would push for an earlier referral if possible - if you explain the urgency then hopefully they may be able to see you sooner / at early pregnancy unit?

@Avocuddles- it's not a week, it is 6 days. I was 5 days out and now I'm at my dates. It was the same with my little one- now 20 months. He measured about 5/6 days out when I went for early scan. They're so inaccurate when they're so tiny- that's why the dating scan is 12 weeks.

Oh sorry- it's not 6 days, it's 8... but all the same.

@Dimblebimble you should phone back the EPU. Whoever answers the phone will be specifically trained and will be a lot more helpful than a GP receptionist might be able to be.

I called my EPU on Saturday morning with LOTS of quick apologies as I had to ask them if they had my toddler's kitty toy which she left in the waiting room late Friday night. They didn't mind at all. So I am sure they will be quite glad to help you with a genuine question.

I get so worried about calling up to ask for help too. But I'm sure you will feel better once you have done it xxxx

@Kayjay2018 Hello! Welcome to the group. Best of luck with this pregnancy; really glad it was good news at the doctors.
I had an early scan at 6+6 weeks and made an appointment for my booking in once I'd had that scan. I totally get wanting to postpone it, but don't leave it too late and not get an appointment because it could affect when your dating scan is booked in for.

@Avocuddles Thank you! Lovely scan picture! Wonderful! And thank you for sharing the rainbow photo.

@janey15 my symptoms came and went a lot in the first trimester. I went 4 days with no sickness and was in complete panic mode... But then it came back again. And everything is fine. As others have said, my sickness was a lot worse when I was more tired too. I also think it was partly psychological because mine sickness left me before two of my early scans... I think it was to do with the worry. As soon as I had the scans I felt awful again!
Being a couple of days out with measurements is absolutely normal at 7/8 weeks... That's why they do the dating scan at 12-14 weeks as it's not reliable before then. It sounds like everything is going well!

@InDreamland sorry you're still suffering from anxiety. I do hope you start to be able to enjoy the pregnancy soon; but I completely understand why it's so difficult for you. Hugs.
I will probably start buying stuff once I've got past 20 weeks as I'm at high risk for premature and I think it'd be a bit fool-hardy to leave everything to 'last minute' but it is nerve-wracking even thinking about buying stuff!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue It does seem like other people's pregnancies go faster, doesn't it? I'm hoping to get second-hand stuff from friends with older kids as this is my first. There's a lot to buy!!

@DimbleBimble I'm so sorry you've had such bad experiences with medical system. Could you contact the EPU directly in your area? Or call the local midwife service?
EDIT: Just seen your next post. I'm glad EPU will see you (how ridiculous of the surgery/midwife... so frustrating!!!). I would stick to the appointment next week. They are likely to offer another one a couple of weeks later after that.

@Mistymeow how did your booking appointment go?

@Squiff70 lovely pictures. It seems like the doctor was quite insensitive... A lot of medical staff are clueless when it comes to tact and diplomacy so there is every chance that they didn't find anything wrong at all and were just speaking clumsily.

@strawberrye Good luck tomorrow! x

@Navy123 Great news about the scan and the booking appointment. Yey!

@Ginmonkey84 Lovely picture. Congrats!

I had my consultant scan today. Cervix is still looking ok and passed the stress test (whatever that is...). But the best bit was seeing baby again. The consultant kept saying how active it was and it was really moving about a lot... it made us laugh because it got its foot right up over its head. I think it might be quite a character!! I am so in love.
I have to continue having consultant scans every two weeks now, to keep an eye on my cervix and womb growth.
But everything was looking good today. Baby measuring 15cm! It blows my mind.

20 week scan next week and should be finding out the sex of the baby!!! She could have told me today but OH wasn't with me and we want to find out together.

So, ignorant first time mum here; I have a couple of questions.
Do you get your Mat B1 form at your 20-week scan? Do you have to ask for this?
How do you work out when to take your maternity leave? I'm due on January 29th and I really don't know when to start maternity!?! Any advice?

Forgot to add pics...

@KnitKitty that scan photo is lovely 😀 love the fact yours was practising yoga moves.

I think I will be going to the same hospital as last time so they hold a drop in clinic on a Saturday to get registered and I think that has to be before last week. However DH just pointed out that maybe if I go this Saturday then that would be a way to escalate to an obstetrician too? I just don't know what to do.

Cute pics @KnitKitty !! I asked my midwife for a matb1 form in my first appt after the 20 week scan.

Does anyone know if they check your cervix at an early scan? I had mine at 9 weeks because of bleeding. They said everything looked fine. I declined an internal examination tonight before. Just wondering if I should have got it checked out.... Still having bits of brown discharge here and there although I think whatever it was has stopped now. I hope...

@rubyroot thanks for your reassurance, I really appreciate it. It's just such an emotional / stressful time, I was over the moon to see the heartbeat but then really panicked myself thinking about the dates and the thought of things going wrong. Had a good chat on the phone with one of the two friends who knows about my pregnancy, there were a fair few tears from me but I'm feeling a bit better and calmer now. I'm a bit apprehensive about having my booking appointment tomorrow as it feels too early, but hoping if I tell the midwife my fears she might be able to provide more reassurance.

@KnitKitty that is a fantastic scan photo, it looks like you have a little gymnast on the way!

Sorry all I haven't had chance to read the whole thread and catch up

@Avocuddles just responding quick as you tagged me in. For APS I am on 40mg enoxaparin and 75mg aspirin. So I think the same as you.
I am also on other drugs for NK cells but this is totally seperate to APS

Just on dates - on LMP I am 11+1 my first scan at 6+1 weeks showed me 5+5. 3 weeks later I had gained 2 days and was 9 exactly. Today two weeks further on baby is measuring 11+4 so another 3 days. So my dates have moved by about 5-6 days in 5 weeks based on scans and are now +3 on my LMP. I think the early measurements are so small they are marginal, try not to worry.

I hope to have a proper catch up on the thread soon.

@ChikiTIKI I haven't had my cervix checked at the three early scans I've had. Maybe they only do it if there is some doubt about what they are seeing? Xx