The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #3 🐧🐧The Penguin Huddle 🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

New thread as the last one is nearing the max number of posts.

This is a supportive and safe space for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread though and have suffered a loss and are anxious about your new pregnancy please feel free to join the huddle 🐧

So ladies, I hope you are all here for the long haul until our 🌈 are delivered (and beyond if you fancy sticking around).

Let's pull on our positive pants and nerves of steel.

I'll start the roll call of EDD from the last thread:
@Melpops3638 - EDD 5/12/2019
@Beaglemum93 - 25 - EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81 - 38 - EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - 36 - EDD 3/01/20 but having an elective section so likely to be 27/12/19
@theAntsareMyFriends - 35 - EDD 04/02/2020
@Laney79 - 40 - EDD 6/1/2020 (but elective section so likely to be 30/12/19)
@Bluebelltulip - 29 - EDD 9/1/2020 likely induction 2 weeks earlier
@moonpeace - 37 - EDD 23/01/20
@KnitKitty- 31 - EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21 - 38 - EDD 6/2/2020 (if c-section circa. 31/1/2020)
@Zznorth - 29 - EDD 17/02/20
@InDreamland- 39 - EDD 18/02/20
@Tinatsarina - 29 - EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer - 29 - EDD 29/02/20
@duvetcaterpillar - 34 - EDD 27/03/2020

Also tagging: @rubyroot @sadtoday21 @Catconfusion @boboelephant @Yukka @Russkispy @VenusStarr @Beaglemum93 @Squiff70 @Navy123 @Bellasblankexpression

So sorry if I've missed anyone. I've tried to include as many as I could.

Great news @TinyPaws - does that mean you didn't need dildo cam at all? Ive had sooo many internal scans over the years I really can't wait to get to the other kind! I've got my fertility clinic scan tomorrow and feeling really nervous.

@Mistymeow thank you for the well wishes and that's a good point - I was on cyclogest for my last pregnancy so never knew about cm.

@Melpops36 That's interesting that you can have HG with minimal vomiting. I'm definitely not that bad as I am managing to eat and drink a bit although it's really difficult. Going to see if the dr can call me tomorrow as I can't face dragging myself 2 minutes up the road to the surgery again! Don't worry, I've put DH straight!

@sadtoday21 Thank you - I'm 7+5 today but likely a couple of days behind that.

Anyone got any Netflix recommendations? I'm bored!

Yep no dildo cam for me today!

I'm selfishly glad it's not just me with the nausea, I've had minimal vomiting but really intense nausea, didn't want to make a fuss as I'm barely even throwing up but gosh I feel dreadful! It comes and goes a bit but it's a good thing it was Sunday yesterday as well I could do was lie on the bed trying not to vom. Managed work today but was quite unproductive. I actually vomited more in previous pregnancies but the nausea was not this bad even when I was actually being sick!

Evening!

Glad your scan went well @TinyPaws. Impressive that you've seen it all without needing the dildo cam - no chance of that at an early stage with my tilted uterus but hope as time progresses it might get easier.

@janey15 hope your scan tomorrow goes well, will be thinking of you.

@Melpops36 your experience sounds awful! I'm glad this pregnancy hasn't been quite as bad for you but still sounds like you've had a lot to contend with. Hopefully tough pregnancy = lovely easy baby?!

I'm feeling really nervous about my scan on Wednesday. I'm feeling pretty ropey at the moment, not particularly nauseous but generally a bit run down and with what feels like a sore throat coming on, need to try to look after myself both physically and mentally but not always easy to do, especially with a busy week at work to contend with.....

Glad your scan went well @TinyPaws! Amazing you didn't need an internal scan. With this pregnancy they couldn't see anything on the abdominal scans until 10 weeks!

@Melpops36 sorry you've had such a tough time! Hope you're feeling a bit better now.

Good luck for your scan tomorrow @janey15! Fingers crossed all is ok.

@Ginmonkey84@TinyPaws great news on your scans.
@sadtoday21 I can see you're anxious I can and I do have to give myself the advice. Waiting three weeks in between 10 weeks and 13 weeks is hard as I've had a scan every two weeks since 6 weeks! But I'm determined I'm going to do it.
@sadtoday21 16 week midwife appointment is pretty boring, the only reason to take your partner is to hear the heartbeat. It may help to tell your midwife you are anxious. I know that the community midwives I went to wouldn't usually listen with the doppler, but they said I realise you're anxious so let's have a listen. That was lovely.
As someone mentioned earlier, sorry I can't remember who.. It does get easier once you start having movements. Although in the very early days it can be a little worrying as movements are much more subtle and you don't necessarily feel them every day to start with.

Hi ladies,

I've just had to skim-read through 20 pages of posts because I'm so bad at keeping up at the moment!!! D'oh!

I'm so sorry to see that some of you have had bad news. My heart goes out to you. Sending massive hugs to those who need it.

I am glad to see a lot of you thriving though, and love the scan pictures! I hope to see plenty more; especially from people returning to the thread, hopefully, in not too long after losses.

I'm 19 weeks on Wednesday and have another consultant appointment and scan that day. Then my anomaly scan next week on Thursday and hoping to find out the sex of the baby then.
Getting some movements, but they're quite gentle. Just in the last day or two I've seen/felt something from the outside of my tummy for the first time... OH is yet to catch it though so I'm dying to share the experience!!!

Partly why I've been so awful at staying in touch with the thread is because life has got a bit crazy recently and we're in the throws of buying a house. I've just been really busy as well; really enjoying the second trimester energy boost and making the most of it; trying to socialise as much as possible etc...
Anxiety hasn't been too bad, just the odd moment here and there and a couple of really bad days that I worked through. Still riding those waves!

I haven't bought anything for baby yet, just a book on parenting. But I'm starting to really get nesting fever and I've been making lots of lists to placate myself... I think if all goes well at the 20-week scan I'm going to bite the bullet and get a few bits (or allow others to buy them for me).

Hoping you all have a good week.
Stay strong, stay positive and stay calm. xx

@Mistymeow thanks for the advice! I’m going to try my best to take it - I do like the idea of doing meditation or yoga to take my mind off it. I know it’s not realistic to need scans every two weeks! How’s your skin doing?

@rubyroot I’ve been doing scans every two weeks since 7 weeks too. It’s hard to break the pattern! Good luck waiting out those three weeks, I’m going to try my best to do the same xxx.

Good luck @janey15!

Hi, can I say a tentative hello? Just had my BFP today at 13dpo (got a faint one on IC last night).

I had a MC back in April at 7 weeks and have now been told I have an autoimmune issue, probably Sjögren's syndrome. I also have RO52 and RO60 antibodies which can cause issues like miscarriage and heart problems in a baby (1-2% of pregnancies). My BFP coincides with my first consultation with a rheumatologist today and I think they may want me to go on some form of steroids. I'm hoping this will help it be a sticky one.

I'm happy and scared at the same time and determined to not got so invested up front like I did last time. Just told DH and he is worried about how badly the MC knocked me last time.

Hi @Kayjay2018 and tentative congratulations! I hope that this is your rainbow.

I also have a high risk pregnancy (due to clotting issues) and had my first consultant appointment last week at 6 weeks. Like you I miscarried at 7 weeks last time so I'm at peak nervousness at the moment.... Make sure you get in touch with your doctor/ consultant ASAP to get whatever special / extra care you need. It's only natural for you and your DH to be anxious but as so many people on this group have said before, this is a new pregnancy with a different egg and a different sperm and the odds are in your favour for this one to go the distance. Good luck!

@KnitKitty glad you're doing well, it must be so exciting feeling the baby moving. Hope everything goes well with the house, and enjoying nesting!

@Kayjay2018 congratulations on your bfp sorry to hear about your mc. This group is amazing for support 💕

Anyone else addicted to looking at the pregnancy apps? I'm checking a few times a day lol can't wait to see 5 weeks tomorrow. Think I'm going to do a cbd at the weekend I really want to see 3+. Never got seeing that with previous pregnancies so will be a wee milestone x

@Avocuddles thank you, I understand the nerves, think 7 weeks would be my first milestone. Rheumatologist appointment is at 10 today so lots to talk about. I'm lucky I have an amazing gp who at the same time as referring for rheumatologist also put a referral in to an obstetrician, I got an October appointment come through yesterday. I'll call him after my appointment today.

Are you on any medication and getting any special care? How are you getting through the days and weeks?

@FirstTimeMama91 thank you And congratulations to you too. I hope this is your rainbow too. I think I'm 4 weeks today.

Fingers crossed now I know I have an issue that the doctors can help keep this one sticky. I suppose I need to be positive that if you know there is an issue you can treat it and make plans

Good to hear from you @KnitKitty. I didn't buy anything until after the 20 week scan either.

Congratulations @Kayjay2018! Hope this is your rainbow!

Now I'm having a complete panic as I'm not feeling sick this morning. I'm so terrified this has all gone wrong

Thanks ladies. Feeling a little better today. Think it was the run up to trying to organise things but now I'm at the airport have slightly calmed down. Anxiety is still there but you're all right, I'll still have anxiety no matter where I am. I just need to try enjoy this trip. Waiting for my brekkie to be served in the lounge with DH. Will be boarding around 11am.

Welcome @Kayjay2018 and congratulations on your BFP.

@KnitKitty lovely to hear from you. Glad to hear all seems well. Hope all the house move stuff goes well. I totally get no buying baby stuff yet. I won't be getting anything until 3rd trimester if I get that far and SIL told us not to buy anything as she has tonnes of baby stuff she can lend us.

@TinyPaws yay to a regular scan! Good news!

Good luck for those getting scans!!!!!!!

Try not to panic @janey15, symptoms come and go. How far along are you now?

@Beaglemum93 thank for replying. I'm 7+6 although probably a couple of days behind that. I've got my scan later and I'm counting down the minutes. This anxiety is so bloody hard. I know the irrational side of my brain has completely taken over but I can't help it

@janey15 good luck for your scan. I wish I had some tips for controlling the anxiety but I still haven't figured it out. I have everything crossed for you! What time is your scan?

@Melpops36 that sounds awful! I had no idea you were suffering so badly, you poor thing. Glad you are feeling better now! How many weeks are you? I think you're the first thread baby?!
**
@TinyPaws great news on the scan!

@sadtoday21 I don’t think they will move your 16 week app to 14 weeks. My trust now does it between 16-18 weeks so I would imagine 14 would be too soon. The midwife at mine only listened to the heartbeat because I told her my back story of MC and ectopic and how anxious I was. Before this she was adamant that they no longer check for it, which many hospitals now don’t. I am a serial scanner and was happy to have scans every two weeks if it kept me calm, but I understand they can be pricey, aside from that I see no issue if it makes you feel better. As people said it does get easier when you feel movement but that brings a whole host of other anxieties (Have I felt baby today? Have I felt enough movement today? Etc). My point is there will always be something to worry about and so anything we can do to keep calm is a good thing – be it scans, meditation, breathing – we have to do whatever we can to keep positive (I am still trying!) so just do whatever works for you xxx

@KnitKitty lovely to hear from you, can’t believe you are 19 weeks! Other people’s pregnancies seem to fly by! Good luck with the house purchase. Lists are good and I also only bought stuff after 20 week scan – just have a few outfits and blankets but to be fair I have most stuff from DD I can reuse.

Welcome @Kayjay2018! I hope this is your rainbow. This is a great group.

Have a fabulous holiday @InDreamland! Look forward to hearing all about it!

@janey15 symtoms definitely come and go. I always found my nausea was worse when I was tired. Big hugs and good luck for your scan later xxx

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @InDreamland thank you! Doctors was good news, whatever issue I have is inactive so no treatment needed. Obstetrician needs to be aware of my antibodies for 2nd trimester scans and treatment if I get that far. Also done sticky blood test (aps) today to check no issues but he doesn't think there will be any.

So this little love bug has as good a chance as any! I think I might have a cry

@Kayjay2018 I have to inject enoxaprin (blood thinners) daily throughout my entire pregnancy and also six weeks after birth, and also take an aspirin each day. I'll be having blood tests and seeing the consultant at least every four weeks, and get a couple of extra growth scans in the third trimester so I'll definitely be getting my money's worth from the nhs!!!!

@Kayjay2018 that's fantastic news!

Thanks @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue! I think you may be right about that, but I may just give them a call and see anyway. I'm supposed to be consultant led, but have never met with the consultant, so maybe this would be a good opportunity to do that.

I looked into renting home dopplers and I'm tempted to do it, but I don't feel it will give the same reassurance as a scan really.

Great news @Kayjay2018! Very happy for you!

I debated buying a Doppler @sadtoday21 but I'm wary and never did. Firstly because I was petrified I wouldn't be able to find the heartbeat - if the midwives are saying the song check at 16 weeks because it's hard to find then I figured I had no hope! And I knew that would send me spiralling out of control. Secondly, because I've read they can actually offer false reassurance because they don't actually pick up on any issues, just the heartbeat. Sorry if I sound really negative and like some sort of scan promoter!! Just don't want you to waste money. If you can make it to 20 weeks then I think you won't need scans as much because you will start to feel movement xxx

*If the midwives are saying THEY DON'T check at 16 weeks...