Pregnancy anxiety support thread

[Kate3150]

Hey,

I thought it would be nice to set up a group for those suffering with anxiety at whatever stage of pregnancy.
I’m approaching 14 weeks and my anxiety has been up and down, particularly as I had a loss last year.
I’m currently having therapy and trying to stay active. Eating and drinking well...

Any tips/thoughts/rants welcome. xx

[Kate3150]

How are we doing ladies??
12 weeks and 4 days to go for me 😂, not that I’m counting or anything lol. It cannot come quick enough. X

[RC1985]

Better this week although getting nervous about my scan and having little breakdowns about it. Not long to go for you, how exciting.

[Kate3150]

Bless you, sending big hugs. I remember not allowing myself to think about my first scan until the day, but I know that’s not necessarily helpful
for everyone.
I feel so tired at the moment, my sleep has been pretty broken for a while now- but I’m coping better than I thought I would. I must be getting what I need xx

[Kate3150]

Thread is here x

[RC1985]

Hey guys. My scan is tomorrow and I am having a real freak out. Other half is getting very excited, his sister has started buying stuff for us and all I am is petrified it’s going to be bad news. My other half has lost a lot of family members of the last few years (he was born into an older family), he’s had 4 funerals this year alone. He doesn’t cope with loss very well and if we loose this baby, I’m worried for him. I feel like it’s all riding in tomorrow like I’m walking into an exam. It’s such an awful feeling and I feel I can only say how I feel on here. Did anyone else feel this way?

[Kate3150]

@RC1985- Oh my goodness cannot believe your scan has come round so quick!!!!! One piece of advice, just let yourself feel however you want. Your nervous so don’t feel guilty or bad about it. If you suppress it you will feel loads worse just feel what you’re feeling.
I still struggle now when people get excited for me... actually I don’t really like it even though I know that they mean well. One of my hardest weeks was when we told everyone... I hated it but I got through
What time is it Tomo? X

[Kate3150]

@HWB1- How are you doing? X

[RC1985]

I think I’m preparing myself for the worst but worried he’s getting his hopes up. I keep saying let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It’s 2:30pm. I feel likes tomorrow is d-day!

[Emmafromdorset]

Hi, hoping it's ok to jump in on this thread 😊
I'm currently 19 weeks pregnant and I'm worried about everything! This is my 4th baby but my 1st with my husband. I'm worried that theres something wrong with the baby, I've felt no movement yet, have no real bump (I can still lay on my front) and I just have a feeling things aren't 'right'. 12 week scan was all ok, and heard heartbeat at 16 week appointment, but still cant shake this sense of impending doom. I've never been like this in any of my other pregnancies so this only makes me think something really isn't right.
Then theres my relationship with my husband. He had always been so lovely and the most amazing partner I could ask for, but recently I feel like things have changed. To be honest I don't think he wants to be with me anymore, but hes too nice and doesn't want to be the man who leaves his pregnant wife. I'm so convinced he'll leave when I've had the baby. I ask him if he still loves me, but he just gets annoyed with me, when all I need is a bit of reassurance, which then confirms in my head that he doesn't love me like he used to. I want to talk to him about everything I'm feeling but I'm scared of upsetting him.
With all these different thoughts in my head I'm finding it hard to eat or sleep and its really getting me down. I just wanted to reach out on here and talk to someone as I haven't really got anyone else I feel I can talk to. Any support/advice would be really appreciated

[Kate3150]

@Emmafromdorset- of course you can join my lovely! Sorry to hear you are going through all of this.
I have also felt this doom like feeling throughout the pregnancy. Even though all scans etc have been absolutely fine, been feeling quite negative about things throughout. I’m still knicker checking at 28 weeks like I did at the very beginning- it’s so hard to snap out of it.
With regards to your Husband, does your gut tell
you somethings wrong? Or could it be in relation to how you’re feeling in the pregnancy? For me, I’m feeling very vulnerable and just not myself. Also more needy than usual. Men don’t really get that side of the pregnancy... they see all the physical changes but like anyone with mental health problems because they can’t be seen it’s really hard to relate. Do you feel there’s no way you can talk to him? Conjuring up all these scenarios in your head like him leaving you after baby here etc could maybe be related to how you’re feeling about the pregnancy? Ie something will go wrong. X

[Emmafromdorset]

This is the problem, I cant work out if it's all in my head or there really are things wrong. I dont trust my own thoughts at the moment. I've suffered in the past with depression and anxiety, in fact I was quite unwell when I met my husband and he was so amazing and supportive that I cant understand why now he doesn't seem to be so supportive. I'm feeling really vulnerable and needy too. it was about this stage in my last pregnancy that my ex husband cheated on me, but whenever I try to explain my insecurities about this to my current husband he gets annoyed and takes it personally, saying how can I compare him to my ex. I'm going to try and talk to him tonight but I know it wont end well. I'm already thinking about the practicalities of being a single mum to 4 kids. But again, is this me getting carried away with my thoughts?? I dont know what to trust in my own head. It's so confusing. I cant face eating either at the moment, so I'm having guilt about that, am I starving the baby and making it malnourished? I'm going to try and force something down me so at least I don't feel guilt about that x

[Kate3150]

@Emmafromdorset- Ok so... from an outsiders perspective. Naturally it looks like you’re comparing what happened in a previous pregnancy to now. Its easily done but you really cannot compare the two as you’re in a different relationship now. Your Husband is probably annoyed that you’re comparing him to your ex and rather than telling you this (often men find it hard to convey how they feel) he’s just being as he is. It seems to me your thoughts are VERY much running away with you. Your thinking one thing then escalating it... “My Husband will leave me” “I’m going to be a single Mum” “How will I cope” etc..... can you see the cycle of negative thoughts?....
I know it’s hard poppet but do try and eat also for yourself as it will make you feel a bit better even though it may not seem like it xx

[Kate3150]

@Emmafromdorset- Have you spoken to Gp/Midwife about having some CBT? I think it would really help you with the negative thoughts 💜

[Emmafromdorset]

@Kate3150 yeah I get what you're saying, but I don't want to assume it's all in my head and then get an even bigger shock when it turns out its not just in my head, if that makes sense?? Its just little things like for example: last night he went to the cinema with some work mates, which was fine. He came in wearing a casual t shirt. I've just sorted some washing and found one of his smart shirts in the wash, which I haven't seen him wear for ages. So now I'm thinking he wore that but changed before he came in. Why do that?? Also we had a bit of a row Saturday night and he went off out and didn't come home until 8:30 Sunday morning. He's never done that. Reckons he slept in the car because he was so mad at me, but I dont entirely believe it. I feel like I'm going out of my mind. I will talk to him tonight, if this is all in my head I will see my midwife about the way I'm feeling. Thank you for listening to me x

[Kate3150]

@Emmafromdorset- absolutely get what you’re saying my lovely. What would make you feel better right now? What do you feel you need? I think that would be important to establish and also give you a focus like you’re working towards something. Always here to talk anytime honestly I will help where I can 💜

[Kate3150]

@Loti92- Welcome my lovely & congratulations! Really pleased to hear you are having some time off at the moment, are you feeling a bit better for being off work?
Don’t worry about being worried, it’s a vicious cycle I know but it’s a wasted worry. It’s impossible to protect ourselves for 9 months from “the world” as such. Life is hard, stressful anyway at times.. throw a pregnancy in with all the hormones etc- it’s not easy!!
I have a fantastic gp who I visited around 14 weeks absolutely sobbing saying I don’t know what’s wrong with me. She said hormones are pretty peak at that point so you could be experiencing that aswell?! I didn’t go down the medication route as I wasn’t on any before. I am
having counselling which is a nice outlet each week.
I’m now 28 weeks and I would be lying if I said the anxiety has gone BUT I am much more at peace with it which is how I can live with it. I don’t fight it anymore.... I’ve accepted it and don’t panick like I used to. I also had a miscarriage last year and it will never leave me and it’s a reason this pregnancy has been hard. That’s why I give myself a break about feeling nervous and worried at times. It’s kind of expected after a loss! You are a warrior, you’ll get through this. I’m here to chat if you ever need 💜

[RC1985]

Hi @Loti92 I haven’t been on medication although I’m quite anxious but this is my first pregnancy. Have you spoken to your midwife/gp and they suggested medication? I’m sure there’s somebody either on this thread or another I’m in that has been on medication. I’ll see if I can find out who it is.

It’s hood your husband is being supportive and he’s right about your work. Does your work know yet, if they do, they should be supporting you, you have rights. The midwife might be able to give advice on who to talk to about your rights.

@Emmafromdorset sending you a big hug as I think that’s what you need right now. Sorry I didn’t reply before but I think @Kate3150 has basically said what I would have anyway. Did you speak to your husband? You know we are all here to support you. Mumsnet is great for that.

[Thanksforthesupport]

I suffer badly with anxiety and am concerned its going to escalate during pregnancy. I came to mumsnet hoping for support but received a lot of negativity and nastiness which surprised me. Wondering if there is an alternative forum for supportive mums..?

[RC1985]

@Thanksforthesupport that is awful. No need for nastiness! Everyone deals with everything in life differently. What is wrong with people. Nothing but support on this thread.

[Kate3150]

@Thanksforthesupport- Lots and lots of support available on this thread my lovely! Come and chat whenever you like 💜

[CatsCatsCats11]

Hope you guys don't mind me joining in, I had horrific pregnancy anxiety last time round and I've just found out I'm pregnant again.

[Kate3150]

@CatsCatsCats11- Awww Welcome my lovely & congratulations. Lots of handholding available here 💜. How many weeks are you?! X

[CatsCatsCats11]

I'm not sure around 6-8 I think irregular cycles. Very early days yet.