Pregnancy anxiety support thread

[Kate3150]

Hey,

I thought it would be nice to set up a group for those suffering with anxiety at whatever stage of pregnancy.
I’m approaching 14 weeks and my anxiety has been up and down, particularly as I had a loss last year.
I’m currently having therapy and trying to stay active. Eating and drinking well...

Any tips/thoughts/rants welcome. xx

@BexH1- How did the gardening go??
Thank goodness it’s majorly cooled down here today so feel like I can breathe again! Wondering how it’s going to feel as baby gets higher and higher up. I find it fascinating how much of the tummy they take up 😂- the human body amazes me xx

Hey how are you! I'm due January 8th but I think I'm going to end up going into labour middle of December I just feel more far along which I know I'm not it's a weird feeling lol. I wondered also if you ever get this with anxiety that random feeling that you might lose control or turn crazy? It's horrible it rarely happens but it happened to me earlier I was just making tea and I became more aware I felt anxious and I became scared I was going to just lose it but it's passed now. Was so horrible x

@anitagreen- Hey!! Totally get those thoughts but I try not to give them too much attention.
How have you coped in the heat? I just dread when I know it’s going to be REALLY hot as it makes me feel all breathless and horrible.
I’m doing ok... had a stressfulish few days..
I think the problem is I worry about any stress im exposed to and I know it’s impossible to go through a whole nine months without any!!! Your gut feeling maybe right 😉, are you getting much movement? Xx

@Kate3150 so much movement! And it just scares me because I think I have so much time on my hands to think I'm constantly thinking the worst or I'm stuck in my head and it's annoying, because the moment I'm busy or having a good day I'm not in my head thinking, but moment I have a spare minute I'm sitting there thinking all horrible what ifs and I just hate it x glad you are well and the heat was a nightmare for me hated every second of it x

Hello, can I join? I had mostly been doing ok with my anxiety since they granted me an elective C-section (I had major stress/sleeplessness/fear for several weeks at the beginning) but yesterday they called me with a date of 39+4 and it's unleashed all the catastrophising again in a major way. Couldn't stop weeping all the way home from work on the train (everyone must have wondered what was wrong with me), it probably doesn't help that I am also exhausted after a long work stretch and not sleeping well in the heat.

I am terrified -and quite convinced- that I am now going to go into labour before that, and that they won't be able to fit me in in time and I'll end up forced to have a vaginal birth. Or that I'll spend labour battling with them about it. And also that all the things I wanted to avoid with an elective C - birth injuries to the baby or myself, and going into labour on my own as I am a single mum - are now quite likely to happen anyway. I feel like I had it all planned and the elective C had enabled me to be calm in the last few months of my pregnancy (just at start of third trimester) and now I've been thrown into massive uncertainty and worry.

I am trying to sort it out with the consultant midwife but if they won't do anything I think I'm going to spend the next 12 weeks in a state of total panic... 😨

Sorry for the long post as my first!

Hiya, :)

I'm wondering if I can join the thread too?

This is actually my third baby but I’m an anxious baby carrier at the best of times, and for some reason I am feeling more anxious about this pregnancy than the second, and definitely more so than the first.

I am 50/50 split between feeling more relaxed and feeling much more anxious, especially about the birth. Luckily I have a lovely midwife who is very supportive and understanding. I’m going through some stressful like events at the moment though; started a new job which I accepted before finding out I was pregnant and my dad is currently very ill in hospital which was unexpected.

Hope anyone else feeling anxious gets the support they need

@leomama81- Oh my lovely!! Sending you a big big cuddle.
Please don’t be hard on yourself for feeling this way. You’re just having a minor blip but you will get past it. I too am also having an elective c section and I too am also having fears about baby coming early etc.. Remember they are just thoughts- thoughts cannot hurt you. They only feel “real“ when you actually start believing they are true. Just think to yourself rather than what could go wrong, what could go right!!! Has anything triggered being thrown into a state of ?!? 💜💜💜

@CloudyVanilla- Of course you can join, welcome 😊.
I’m so pleased to hear you have a supportive midwife, I think that’s key when suffering from anxiety etc in pregnancy.
How far along are you now?
Anxiety is such a strange thing, I’ve grappled with it for years and although my understanding of it has got better this year especially (mainly from doing a lot of research during pregnancy) at times it does baffle me!
One thing I have accepted is the changes in our body both physically and hormonal are a challenge in themself. I think the combination of peak hormone levels, our organs being shifted about due to bubba growing (I wake up sometimes feeling breathless- I know that’s due to baby moving upwards rather than the anxiety). Also the responsibility of growing a human and all the things you normally do that you can’t now. ITS HARD! Even for the most relaxed person I’m sure it could turn them to being pretty anxious.
We can get through it 😊 xx

Thank you @Kate3150! I think I am also very overtired at the moment - this hasn't helped as I am now lying awake worrying about it - but also my brother who is a doctor was going to be there and now can't be - he told me on Sunday he has to go away unavoidably at that time. I think the idea of him being there was massively helping as I trust his medical judgment and I also felt that he could advocate for me when I need it, now I feel that I won't have support and will have to fight for everything on my own.

When have they scheduled you in for?

@leomama81- I completely understand why you are feeling how you do. One aspect of anxiety is when things change suddenly it’s hard to accept them. I like to plan things and know what’s happening so naturally pregnancy is hard!
What reason has he given for going away? I mean I wouldn’t expect you to be happy about it at all! You had a plan in place and you felt happy about having him with you quite understandably because one- He’s family and two- He has a medical background. Surely something can get sorted out, if he indefinitely cannot be with you is there anyone else at all!? X

I’m having mine at 39 weeks, no definite date but I guess around 9th December xx

30 weeks today. I suffer with anxiety. It definitely comes and goes. Was very high in early stages, tailored off a bit in 2nd trimester. Now it's getting closer to the end, it's beginning to boil up again

@LKH27 that might be it partly with me too I think. The middle bit was the calm bit somehow! I guess it's just normal to a degree and particularly for those of us who have anxiety tendencies?

@Kate3150 Unfortunately there is really nothing he can do - it's an interview for an amazing position overseas and they've changed the dates - he has to go there - and it's a fixed thing where it goes on for a few days and all the interviewees attend at once. It would be a really big deal for him so I don't even really want him to feel bad knowing that it's affecting me.

I did speak to my midwife today who is the consultant midwife and she says she is going to get it changed and promised me I won't go into labour. She was very reassuring and nice so that has made me feel a bit better.

Has anyone tried any hypnobirthing? My midwife says it's useful even if not having a vaginal birth - I've been a bit sceptical to be honest but perhaps it is worth a try...

@leomama81 Hypnobirthing has really helped me but don't let it become another source of pressure!! My anxiety has really ramped up over the last couple of months and even more the last few days (37 weeks pregnant). It has been so intense that I have really struggled to concentrate on the more in depth hypnosis but the breathing techniques alone really take the edge off the panic and negative thoughts I have been experiencing if nothing else xx

@lfnb - that's good to know. I can imagine it must be harder as you get close! Hope you have lots of good support - keep on breathing! X

@leomama81 Sometimes it's all we can do

Hi hope you don't mind me joining the thread.

Congrats everyone!

I found out last week I was pregnant. Me and DH have been TTC but was shocked when the test came back positive. I suffer with general anxiety disorder and have had a shit load of therapy since I was 19, I'm 28 now. I had it in my head that I wouldn't be able to have children for some reason. Then when I thought of having a baby everything goes wrong... I've thought of every possible outcome over the years. It's horrible worrying about things that haven't even happened!

Ive always had issues around giving birth and the thought of a baby growing inside me. I did see a therapist 2 years ago about it and she said I had tokaphoiba (spelling) a fear of pregnancy!

I just got to the point where I thought lets just go for it, I'm getting closer to 30, DH really wants to be a dad and deal with the pregnancy if it happened. Well here I am and I feel excited but don't want to build my hopes up incase it all goes wrong.

I am surprised with the waiting time to see a midwife for the first appointment, I know the NHS is struggling but I thought you would see one as soon as you found out. Maybe that's me being impatient...

The part that's hit me though and deep down I always knew it would is the fact I don't have my Mum here. She died suddenly when I was 18 and have no family support. Her death destroyed my family and I'm still grieving. The older I get the more painful it gets. She's missed all my major life events and last night I had a dream that I had a scan and showed her the photo, it was a lovely dream but I've been a mess all day.

Thanks for listening xx

@leomama81- Your midwife sounds wonderful, I’m so pleased you have her support. Are you feeling a little better after your appt with her?
I have bought a hypnobirthing thing to listen to online but I’ve decided this weekend I’m going to get back into mindfulness. Have you tried that?
It helped me immensely last year when I was poorly, I had to have two subsequent operations and managed to get through them as-well. X

May I ask what help are you getting and how did you manage to?

I asked my midwife team for help but got freaked out when they said I need to sign forms for accepting my details assessed by social services

I only said I have anxiety due to loss

@ChickenNugget86- Welcome!!! Congratulations on your pregnancy.
Do you feel you need to speak to someone now about how your feeling? I did see my GP to discuss anxieties etc and she was fantastic. So maybe you can do that if you feel midwife appt is too far away?!
I also lost a parent at 18, it’s such a young age to got through a big loss like that 💜.
You will find the strength to get through this pregnancy and yes it will be hard, but you will do it. Remember your hormones will be all over the shop aswell so make allowances for them. When I was around 14 weeks I was very anxious for no reason and crying a lot. I was assured it was my hormones and it kind of subsided after a few weeks.
Something that’s also helped me(sorry for the waffling 🤣) ... is making sure I eat and drink well. Get fresh air, go for walks and take my pregnancy vitamins. So if I was having a bad day, I could remind myself I’m meeting babies needs as best I can by looking after myself and that made me feel better. You can do this 💜

@MrsNotNice- Hey, I’m having some counselling (privately) so that’s been helping me along the journey. I’m sure they can put you forward for some CBT, but I’m not sure how long a referral
would take?
I can’t comment on the forms you were asked to sign, can you maybe give her a call to clarify things with her? I’m sure she would hate to think they’re causing you any anxiety x

@leomama81
I'm having an elective c section, and thought that would make me calmer. But then I'm worrying that I might go into labour naturally before hand as they have only moved it forward 3 days of my due date. Baby was measuring big last time so I'm worried about that, and just feeling so bleurgh recently. Think I'm coming down with a sore throat which doesn't help. I go back to work Monday (typical - haven't had a cold this whole pregnancy) and worried about that. It's all what ifs I know, but a lot just can't be stopped in my head :(

@MrsNotNice
I had CBT and they said if you are pregnant, have a child under 1 or a veteran, you will be seen a lot quicker than usual. Worth a try putting a referral in.

Thanks @Kate3150 yes I am. I don't have a date now as it's being revised but she is lovely and I really do trust her and being the consultant midwife she has a lot of influence, so I feel quite confident she will sort it out. Had a decent night's sleep for the first time this week last night! I will try mindfulness as well actually, I never have but that is a good call.
@LKH27 that's exactly what it was with me, I started really catastrophising about going into labour and then being forced to go through a vaginal birth and then being traumatized and not bonding with my baby and before I knew it I was starting to wish I wasn't pregnant! All very illogical really but it's tough to stop once you start going down the rabbit hole isn't it.. have you spoken to your midwife about how you are feeling about it?
@ChickenNugget86 welcome, ah hon that sounds so tough. Pregnancy is an extraordinarily anxiety-making time, they don't tell you that, I think even for people that are normally not at all anxious. And it certainly brings up a lot around family etc. agree perhaps you should talk to your GP? I think it does get a bit better after first trimester as you start to see/feel it and have more checks.
@MrsNotNice yes that sounds a bit odd, perhaps you should talk to them again and ask what they meant about that? I'm down on my notes as having anxiety etc, I'm not seeking any additional treatment but I am on sertraline and I've been told to come to them with anything I need, without anyone mentioning SS.