Catching up with those from TTC thread- 3

[EltzBee]

A new thread as we're approaching the end of the last one!
@sunshine1987 @SullyWifey @mrsof20118 @GemmaJen @RanchoRelaxo @Delilah7 @Crossfitgirl @EltzBee @AngeloMysterioso @ChaosMoon sorry if I've missed people please feel free to tag people I've missed so far!

Thank you ladies! Obviously I think she's the most gorgeous baby ever, but it's good to have it confirmed. 😉

@Delilah7 hun, you're doing an amazing job! Your baby boy will be unbelievably perfect 😘 xxx

@thumper59 goodness, that's exciting! i hope everything is good! But as you say, you saw a heartbeat so I'm sure it'll be wonderful! Xx

@BostonFern I'm doing ok! I have to keep reminding myself I'm only 4 weeks, so can't expect to feel symptoms yet, although my boobs are super sensitive at the moment...

@ChaosMoon oh my god, she is just beautiful!! You're a lucky lady and looks like she's a lucky baby! 😊 xx

@MrsR16 thank you so so much xxxxx

@chaosmoon aw man, please keep the pics coming! She definitely is the most gorgeous little girl! The tear sounds painful, can you have salt baths and things to help heal it? Not that I know much about it. I'm sure you're hormones will be absolutely all over the place, but if you feel down you know we will all be on here ready to pick you up again :-)
And thank you - sleep really has made a big difference today, I feel human! Can't flippin complain to you though tbh, I'm sure you're running on none! (although you have a little mini you to compensate 😍)

So today we went to mamas and papas and did personal shopper to get the pram and car seat bundle. We didn't know there was a 25% sale on furniture, or that we got a shit load of money off if you spend over a certain amount with the personal shop.... So we may have also bought... our snuzpod, nursery furniture 5 piece set and our cot mattress!

Whoops! Huge relief though as now all the big things are sorted, and although we spent a fortune, we actually saved over 1k with the sales and money off, and we got a nicer furniture set than we were going to, as we didn't think we could afford this one til we saw it in the sale! It's all coming on the 21st June, so kinda glad we ordered early. Don't know why it takes so long!

Anyway, I'm very excited and cannot wait to get it in the nursery and see it all becoming so real!

When's everyone else getting big stuff? Xxx

@mrsr16 the boobs were the most sensitive for me in those very first few weeks. Nips were so sore, but it was amazing how quickly my boobs started growing, really before any other symptoms - it was my way of basically substantiating my pregnancy! Get some nice comfy crop top bras or soft non wired maternity ones from M&S, they are dreamy. Xx

Sounds like you picked up some good deals @Crossfitgirl. We have most of the big stuff now. Think it's just sensor monitor, car seat base for car and a moses basket.
Feeling a bit meh this evening. Got a hen do to go to in a few weeks and have nothing to wear and nothing standing out. Think it's a two outfit thing as well as day and evening. Also wondering how I'm going to cope going to the evening part with no nap in the day.

@mrsof20118 there are some nice dresses in Next, the Katie piper range looks quite nice, I'm debating getting one of her dresses myself for our housewarming party in a couple of months - if you have a few weeks you have a bit of time to browse online. I know what you mean though, I have maybe 3 or 4 outfits that I rotate lol I think I need to get some more!

I think i remember you deciding whether to go to this hen do. Are you staying in a hotel? Could you retreat back before the evening bit? Either leave the day bit slightly sooner or get to the evening bit a bit later? Or leave the evening a bit earlier?
You might surprise yourself though, I went out the other week for drinks and stayed out til after midnight totally sober, and the atmosphere kept me wide awake! I had a really good time, and I'd actually expected to have had enough after a couple of hours. Could you catch up on sleep on the Sunday if you don't manage to nap on the Saturday? Xxx

Good morning you wonderful ladies! Hope you're all doing ok today!

I am need of some advice... obviously I'm very aware that I'm very early on and anything could happen between now and that magical 12 weeks. I'm debating whether or not to tell my parents next weekend (it's my mum's birthday on Friday and we're seeing them Saturday) and then telling DH's parents on the Sunday. They would be sworn to secrecy, which my parents wouldn't have a problem with (this is grandchild no. 10 for them!) but I'm worried about my MIL spilling the beans. I only want to tell them so that if it goes wrong, at least DH and I can lean on them for support.

I also need to think about telling my voluntary workplace (I'm running a course in a few weekends and am worried that I won't be fit!)

My brain is fried! Someone slap me and tell me to put a sensible head on! 😂😂 xx

@MrsR16 from someone who's miscarried the best thing I did this time round was tell my mum and dad and mother in law early. Aswell as work, as the support I got first time round was amazing and well and truest needed. I'm sure everything's will be fine but just do what YOU and DH think is best and it'll work xxx

@Delilah7 you're an amazing lady 😘😘 thank you darling xxx

@MrsR16 it'll be right whatever you decide Hun xxxx

@MrsR16 I told parents and close friends very early on, and told a few work colleagues as I anticipated i may need some support if I had sickness and generally to feel like someone would have their eye on me as I do lone working a lot.
I wouldn't worry too much about MIL, swear them all to secrecy but if she does let slip, what's the worst that could happen? She probably wouldn't tell anyone you know, or would swear them to secrecy too if it was accidental. I found once i told people, I felt miles better. People were more understanding and conscious I may not be feeling good, and actually when we announced at 13 weeks quite a few people had guessed but not said anything due to basically how haggard I'd been up to that point 😂but point is, it will come out at some point anyway and most people will be discreet if they have an inkling.

The decision is totally yours though, we were lucky and everything was fine but I was very conscious of risk of MC as well.

A family friend of ours was excited about having a grandchild and dropped into conversation that her DIL was 7 weeks pregnant but to keep it to myself as it was a secret. She then went on to say she doesn't get why it's all meant to be a big secret these days, it never used to be like that back in the day etc. I explained to her it was because of the risk of MC in the early weeks and the fact people may not want to have to un tell everyone if anything happened.
Sadly, she messaged me again not long after as they had lost the baby. She felt terrible.

I think some people just don't understand the reason it's a secret, as in their day the risks weren't as understood and people didn't find out as early on. I think if she'd understood the reason before, she would have definitely thought twice about sharing.

I don't know if that helps xxx

@Crossfitgirl that certainly does help! I guess I'm worried that something will happen and then it'll be brought up in conversation, me having to explain, etc. I would have said something today, but I'm not ready to tell the BIL/his OH. They've been trying for months themselves, so I wanna deal with that sensitively xxx

@mrsR16 good luck with what you decide to do :-) Im sure BIL will be happy for you when you do tell them.

Euh OK so I need a moan. DH has been a proper nightmare this weekend. He's just been so argumentative and difficult about the stupidest things!! For example he wants to build a summer house at the bottom of the garden. I said I didn't want one as I pointed out that's where the very last bit of sun stays til 6pm.. it's all in shade after that, so didn't want to limit evening garden time in the sun to even earlier by putting a summer house there. He threw a massive huff to the point he said he's never doing anything for the house /garden ever again.
Then he keeps going on about stupid stuff like, moaning about what a shit tip the house is... Wouldn't have minded but he chooses to whinge about this WHILST I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF TIDYING!
I mean, pick your moments. What else does he want me to do?
Anyway. I've been feeling rubbish anyway with heartburn, not sleeping great, and generally tired and too hot. I've cried twice this weekend. I'm having to work both Bank Holidays and he's made my only 2 nice days a bit shit!
Don't know what's wrong with him!

I also got a bit weirded out the other day as we started sex, (haven't had it for about 2 months or so, and he keeps mentioning my big boobs so thought hed be gagging for it) but it got to the crunch and he basically lost his mojo and had a performance issue. He didn't seem phased by it, whereas normally he would be totally mortified.

I'm starting to wonder if there's something else going on, it even crossed my mind he's done something like cheated on me and this is why he's acting up.

Is it me being paranoid or is it just DH having a bad weekend or should I try talk to him even though its the last thing I want to do?

@Crossfitgirl thanks will take a look at those next ones. Yes have a hotel that night so makes it a bit easier for a nap. Think I was just over thinking last night in bed with nothing fitting and just feeling a bit blah! X

Sorry to hear about your crappy weekend @Crossfitgirl. I doubt you have anything to be worried about, maybe try and talk to him about it to try find out what his issue is. Men just act weird sometimes and bottle things up more than us I think? X

@Crossfitgirl ah chick! Sorry to see you've had a shite couple of days with your DH. My partner is the exact same with mess. He calls it selective OCD. As in, a pile of clothes on the bed or floor is the end of the world but throwing them messily into the bottom of the wardrobe where they're out of sight but not actually put away is fine. We had a massive declutter a couple of weeks ago and it had to get worse before it got better and he was consistently moaning about the mess then as well. I'm normally very good at keeping on top of the household stuff and I've always done it all, happily, until being pregnant and I think it's taken him a while to adjust but generally he is quite good. The summerhouse situation would wind me up like you as well. You want to make the most of the sunny days we get here! Bit childish of him to say he's not doing anything again, although it was probably just out of frustration. RE sexy time. We've had sex twice since finding out we were pregnant! And a couple of little other bits here and there but he has been very deprived bless him lol. I've gone TOTALLY off it all and not interested and he's been good at not really pestering me too much to the point I thought it was just where he didn't fancy me anymore or maybe was going elsewhere. I know that's not true though and is just me being insecure especially with not coping well with body changes and being worried about stretch marks, weight gain etc. Maybe he's more concerned about hurting you/the baby but doesn't want to say? I'm sure he's not done anything behind your back at all but totally understand the thought process because I've been the same. It's a massive adjustment for them as well in a completely different way to us. They've just got to get their heads around their wives and girlfriends not being the same as before and as soon as the babies come they will understand the change is different but good. Hope you have an ok day at work today and things settle with your DH xxx

@Crossfitgirl sorry you’re having a rough weekend with your DH, maybe you need to sit him down and talk it through. He could be stressed about work, or about getting ready for the baby coming.

Does anyone get hip pain at night? I used to sleep on my belly but that isn’t comfortable now so I’m sleeping on my side. I keep waking up with whichever hip I’m lying on really painful. Is there anything I can do to help it?

Yes to the hip pain @stormtrooperjulian. I go to a pregnancy trained osteopath once a month who loosens things up for me x

@mrsof20118 yeah I think he does bottle things up sometimes, he seems fine today so maybe it was just man pms or something!

Thank you @canonlyhopexo I do think I'm far more anxious and worried in general than normal and it's easy to think and be paranoid about relationships when so much is changing. Despite him always saying my boobs are amazing now as they're so much bigger, I was paranoid that things may have changed "down there" and maybe it put him off. He didn't admit it if it did! Maybe it was just a weird baby thing, especially as he's been feeling her move now on a regular basis. It's hard not to overthink things!! I've been the opposite to you and have been quite horny, but DH hasn't tried it on once, but I think that's maybe just a carry over from when I felt like poo in the 1st trimester and he's got used to not bothering me.

Re the whole garden and house thing, It was definitely just frustration yesterday as he has been mowing the lawn today lol. I think he was just "on one". I guess I can't complain as I've had many a pregnancy rage and Im sure he's had the brunt of it!

@stormtrooperjulian yes my hips ache in bed. I get to a point in the night where I sometimes do just lay on my back for a bit as neither hip is comfy any more! I find when that happens using my pregnancy pillow helps - I have a dream genii and it has a bit that goes behind you when you're on your side, so even if you lay on your back, it keeps you partially on your side if that makes sense. You could do the same by wedging a normal pillow behind you. So your in like, 1/4 side lying. Xx

Glad it's better today. I guess we forget men can get hormonal too @Crossfitgirl

Question for opinion... My MIL has asked my other half to take her away on a trip abroad 6/8 weeks ish after baby's due date for 5 nights. I feel quite miffed she would even ask considering we don't know if baby will be on time, whether I'll have a birth that goes to plan and what my recovery will be like. Plus I only have friends living nearby my own mum is over 3 and half hours drive away. Inlaws

@mrsof20118 tbh I think that's completely out of order! What on earth is the reason for her wanting him to take her away for 5 nights? Does she normally want to go on holiday with him alone? I'm a bit confused. Is it her birthday or something? Why wouldn't you go with them?

I don't get it at all! It's his first child.
The baby won't even be 2 months old and she wants to separate them for a week.
You get left on your own for nearly a week when you probably haven't even had time to settle properly yet.
I hope DP had said no???

Maybe she hasn't thought about the timescale? Either that or she's being extremely thoughtless!!

@Crossfitgirl her friend is getting married in Vegas and she wants someone to take her. She has a slight disability meaning she would need wheelchair assistance at the airport and possibly use over there. He said no but she's not happy about it at all and seems to be blaming me for that decision.

@mrsof20118 Unbelievable! That's not even a small trip, OH would be back after 5 days dealing with a new baby and most likely awful jet lag. Glad he said no and can't believe MIL was unreasonable enough to ask. She doesn't want to have to deal with things on her own for 5 days but thinks you should with a very small baby 

@canonlyhopexo That made me laugh so much, the selective OCD is so my DH! If I leave anything of mine unattended for longer than about 30 seconds it is 'tidied' into a pile in the bottom of my wardrobe. Infuriating.

@Crossfitgirl Glad that DH has got over his little moment. It is really hard I think when things are changing so much and their emotions must be as all over the place as ours at times.

I'm glad I'm not being unreasonable for saying no as well @TrashKitten10.