Catching up with those from TTC thread- 2

[MrsC87]

So I went with the same thread title so everyone could find us.
@sunshine1987 @SullyWifey @mrsof20118 @GemmaJen @RanchoRelaxo @Delilah7 @Crossfitgirl @EltzBee @MrsEG (tagged from memory, will come back and tag everyone else- baby brain 🙈)

@mrsc87 haha don’t worry I’m the same, have my spreadsheet of how much money i’ll have each month after tax/NI etc and SMP. Then added all my holiday and bank holidays in lol. Feeling very organised x

@sunshine1987 if you can help with figuring out pay after tax, NI and pensions would be great! I'm still unsure either I pay pension on omp and smp?!

Hi Ladies,
Not been on for a good while. Currently sitting in the emergency gynaecology unit as I've been spotting since Saturday which has turned into very very light pink bleeding and also cramping today. My scan is meant to be Friday but I just couldn't wait until then. I suspect they will most likely get me to come back for a scan anyway which is very frustrating.

How are you all?

I'm so so sorry to hear about your losses @FivexFive and @FlapJackered. Must be so devastating. The fact that I'm facing a similar outcome is breaking my heart 💔

We sound like the same person @sunshine1987 🤓😆

Sorry to hear this @MrsLBear, hopefully they will scan you tonight. Keeping everything crossed and wishing you good news xx

@EltzBee I'm worried about introducing a baby into the pack, lol. The oldest of the 3 thinks she's my baby, always wanting cuddles and attention. They're relatively well trained (other than the barking) - two of them are coming with me to compete in obedience at Crufts in a few weeks. But even so I know it'll be a big change for them, I'm hoping my sisters baby ( due in June) will pop over for some visits at home, that might make the noises and smells a little more normal? I imagine a cat will be harder? They seem to make their own rules!

@ChaosMoon, I'm not sure they can do anything, I think they'll be monitoring it more closely to see if the level falls - but I haven't really researched it much yet.

Oh @MrsLBear, I'm so sorry. Hopefully you've got some answers? Will they scan before Friday?

@mrsof20118 you apparently don’t pay pension whilst on SMP, but whilst you receive any money from your employer you will. So for example if you did KIT days or whilst it’s enhanced and goes through payroll you’ll pay it. Tax and NI stays the same as normal, so a percentage of what you earn that period xx

@mrslbear I hope you’re ok xx

@GemmaJen wow crufts sounds like a challenge, good luck! Our youngest cat often thinks it's a dog, lol. They're house cats and I think they'll be okay, they will probably wonder what the furniture is for more than being bothered by the baby haha!

@sunshine1987 oh interesting I didn't know the pension contributions stopped whilst on SMP. Makes sense though. I work for a US company and there is no maternity policy so all I'm going to get is statutory. I do need to work out how my leave will work and make sure they understand I legally still accrue my holiday! One lady went on maternity leave last year from a different team, but I'm the first in my team.

I'm due end of August and thinking that I might try and use holiday to bring forward my leave date that bit earlier. Being the summer I'm thinking travelling in the heat to work may be that bit harder?! I hear the two schools of thought of working til you almost drop and some people taking a few weeks off before. I guess pros and cons of both! Anyone had any thoughts?

@eltzbee you also accrue bank holidays, so remember those add up too. I’m going off at 38 weeks (due 4th August) but that’s because I don’t think I can take a lot of time off after due date so want to extend it as much as I can the other side, so will take less before. Maternity leave will start day before due date for me but with annual leave for 2 weeks before x

@sunshine1987 Ooh I didn't know about accrueing bank holidays! Is that a legal thing too?

Good idea; I've got 4 days booked off in April for a holiday but that's the only holiday using 2019 allowance I've got any plans for at the moment. I guess I will have to ask the question if I can use the final quarters 2019 leave before I've technically accrued it... I get 24 days a year I think, so I should be able to take a couple of weeks of before the due date.

We don't have to tell work how much time we're planning on taking off on maternity leave, do we? I'm not sure yet - a part of me would like to take the 12 months but I also toy with the idea of taking maybe 9 months then seeing if I can go back part time...

When did you go 'public' with your pregnancy? The only people that know still are me and DH of course, my parents and my boss. We had the screening tests done on Friday at our scan (touch wood no phone call yet), they said it can take up to 10 days to get the letter through. I'm wondering if we wait til we have a private 16 week gender scan. (I googled these and found loads of weird arguments saying they're sex scans not gender scans, but the companies offering them all call them gender scans!!).

@eltzbee yep if you’re entitled to them normally, this is really helpful though it says something different about pensions then my companies policy so might be best to take their advice about pensions too; www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/rights-at-work/parental-rights/rights-while-youre-on-maternity-leave/. Again would check with your work, I can only take leave for the months I’ve worked at the beginning, then the leave I accrue during maternity leave has to be taken after. Also I have to say to work when my return date is, this can change but I need to stipulate to them. I didn’t go public as such, my best friends knew before my 12 week scan and other close people I let know a few days after my 12 week scan (as they said they would let me know by phone within a few days if high risk so waited until then). Everyone else were telling when we see them so still quite a lot of people that don’t know and I’m 16 weeks lol 🙈 xx

@sunshine1987 thanks that is really helpful! I do get the UK bank holidays so will try and work it all out :)

I'm also sat by my phone hoping it doesn't ring...the hospital said they'd ring within a few days if there was anything, nothing yet so keeping fingers crossed. Will feel better when we get the letter!

I'm weirdly scared about telling people. I think because it will make it 'real' the more people know, and also that people will all be asking the same questions and I might go crazy lol. We need to tell MIL still, she lives a couple hours away and I've not been up to travelling down there anyway yet, but don't want to leave it too late to tell her. I'm pretty sure she'll be really excited :)

Just heard bubba’s heart beat again 💜 was so magical. Though bubs wasn’t playing ball and due to an anterior placenta it took her ages to find and gave me a mild panic attack 🙈

Lost my place in here I think! marking my spot to keep up with everyone xx
So nice to hear so many of you all happy in here

Ah that must have been lovely @sunshine1987, how many weeks are you?

I just moved my 12w scan as I can't make the first date they gave me. It's now 12 days away! So worried but holding onto the fact I'm still nauseous. - never thought I'd be grateful for feeling so rubbish! 🤞

@gemmajen just over 16 weeks. Aw that’s exciting, those 12 days will go so quickly, that first scan is so special. Normal to feel nervous but try and enjoy xx

Aww lovely feeling @sunshine1987, so was it a galloping horse or train as the old wives tales say...
@GemmaJen you'll be on countdown now, I'm sure those 12 days will go quick and you'll be seeing your baby on the screen xx

@mrsc87 oh I didn’t know that old wives tale, I have no idea lol. Was 140bpm too which is borderline boy or a girl 🙈

So mine definitely was a train and was right with being a boy @sunshine1987
Girls are supposed to be a galloping horse.
Did you record it at all?

@mrsc87 I didn’t record it 😔 would have been fun as we aren’t finding out either. Convinced we’re having a boy but think the heartbeat sounded like a horse rather than a train x

@sunshine1987 ah how lovely!!
@mrsc87 that's a good idea to record it!

We 'saw' the heart beating at our 12wk dating scan, the midwife there said they don't listen to it there unless they have to as the machines are too powerful for little ones at that point, which was interesting. My midwife at my booking appointment said when we see her at the 16 week appt (which will actually be one day short of 17 weeks now!) she'll listen to the heartbeat! Eeeek!

I'm convinced ours is a boy but basing that on DH having so many boys his side of the family!! I keep calling our bean a 'he' already. We're going to find out - has anyone had a 16week gender scan??

@EltzBee my hubby couldn't come to 16 week appointment so I asked midwife if I could record it for him. And yes we had a gender scan, was such a lovely experience 🥰
@sunshine1987 I was 90% sure baby was a boy and I was correct but then @RanchoRelaxo was also convinced hers was a boy but she's having a girl 💗

Hi girls, just checking back in here. I took a couple of days off because all of the talk of miscarriage etc was worrying me and stressing me so much before my scan this evening. I'm so sorry to report though that I went for the scan tonight and had a missed miscarriage confirmed. She could see the sac and yolk but the foetus was very small. She had to do an internal and it was measuring too small. There was a heartbeat but it was too slow and irregular to be viable. I'm sorry to bring the thread down but there's another one for you! To be honest I had felt there was something wrong so although I felt totally numb it almost wasn't a shock. I guess I should listen to my gut more. I have got a large glass of white wine on the go. Thinking about next steps. I just want to miscarry naturally but might have to have the medical route. The worst thing is seeing your plans slip away and also facing the nightmare of TTC again!! The one thing i have learnt in life with this as well as everything else is you can't control things no matter how much you want to. Life comes at you and happens in the way it happens and I guess you just have to roll with the punches!

@Bettythecat I am so so sorry. I know what you're going through and it is completely heartbreaking. You're not alone and if you need support feel free to DM me. Take your time to process it the way you need to, I am also finding wine helps xxx