Baby on Board Badge Experience

[Lafza]

Hi all,

If any of you are from London I’m curious to hear your experiences travelling on the tube/bus with a baby on board badge. I was really reluctant to wear mine but during the rush hours I’ve been advised it’s safer to make people aware. However I’ve noticed men seem to be the least sympathetic! They really could not care less whereas women are a lot more considerate - has anybody else noticed this?

I'm genuinely mystified at the controversy the badge thing generates on here.

I had a badge. I wore it from about 20-25 weeks when I had a noticeable bump. I was always offered a seat, although I wasn't commuting daily at the time. If for some reason no one had offered and I was struggling I'd have asked. End of story really, no drama involved. And it was a mix of men and women who offered me seats.

I've found it hasn't made a bit of difference. In 6 months of wearing a badge, taking the DLR about 15 times a week, I've maybe been offered a seat 10 times in total? It's gotten to the point where I'm getting into work at 7am instead of 9 just to avoid getting bumped on the tube at rush hour: I've been knocked so many times it's frightening.

Sort of the opposite to you, I've found men to be a bit better. I think every time I've been offered a seat it's been a man.

I have a badge, although I try to avoid peak times. When necessary I just ask someone to move out of the designated priority seats on either the tube or the train.
It’s not been an issue at all with asking people to move - the reality is that I would fall if the tube / train came to a sudden halt as my balance is shot!
I’m 6 months pregnant but being a ‘larger lady’ just look a bit fatter🤣

I just ask people for a seat if no one notices or offers when I get on the bus or tube.

You're a Londoner! You can't be precious about this kind of stuff. Just ask people to move.

Never noticed a difference in men or women offering seats.

Never had an issue when I wore mine both times.

As a commuter I sit down with my head in a book so I need a badge to get my attention to give up my seat

I find women hardly ever offer me a seat and men always do. Most people are oblivious if they see they usually get up but on those rush hour times when you can’t even get anywhere near the seats that’s a bit stressful.

I think it's necessary to wear the badge as even at full term people don't notice you're pregnant all the time. I've had a lot of situations where people (men) look at the badge and then look down and don't make eye contact because they don't want to give up their seat. I definitely get offered a seat more if I have a badge on though. At rush hour it's irrelevant because you often can't get near the seats anyway.

It did work... when there were seats! I had a fairly short journey so preferred to stand near the doors. Someone half way down the carriage would inevitably- and very kindly - offer their seat, and I would feel awful not accepting it. So ended up making life much harder for myself 🙈

Not sure how the badges are passive aggressive?

I've got a badge and a massive bump. No one has ever offered me a seat.

I wore mine from quite early as I was so bad with morning sickness. There was only one occasion when I really needed a seat when I wasn't offered one. There were of course occasions when I wasn't offered a seat but on those particular days I didn't feel the desperate need to sit down so it was fine.

Contrary to your experience I found men were more likely to offer me a seat than women, however, in fairness there were probably more men on the train than women.

I honestly believe that the vast majority of people would spring out of their seats in an instant rather than leave a pregnant woman standing.. out of manners if not concern for the woman. However it's really not always obvious and most of us bury our heads in books or phones when commuting so sometimes we need a bit of a nudge. I wore the badge a few times during both of my pregnancies but tbh I hated it as I felt like an attention seeker (I know that's unreasonable, but it's true!) I sometimes didn't get offered a seat and honestly didn't feel offended at all as I know how difficult it can be for folk to tell the difference between pregnancy and fat tummy!

Just started wearing mine. Got offered a seat on the first leg of my first journey on one of the more sedate lines. I've then stayed close-ish to the seats without looming suggestively and usually get one once one becomes vacant as the people standing near have noticed where the ones sitting haven't. But then multiple squishes onto the Central line at rush hour and it's about as much use as a chocolate teapot - there are about 18 people between you and the seats so even if anyone noticed, there would be no way of even getting to a seat! I'll definitely be more fortright when bigger, currently I don't 'need' a seat (in 2nd tri) but would be nice as knackered and slightly unconfortable.

I have to say i hated the badge thing. It was a bit “ooh look at me all fertile and pregnant” as if you were carrying second coming and expected the crowds to part before you. A bit ostentatious pregnancy, especially if you weren’t showing.

But maybe that’s just me

I just asked. Do you mind if i sit down i’m feeling a bit faint/sick always worked fine. Probably better than the pregnant thing if i’m honest as some seem to have the attitude you’re pregnant, not ill, or it’s self inflicted so suck it up and don’t expect me to move because of your life choices...

Passive aggressive? What nonsense!!!

I wore one from about 20 wks. People mostly gave me a seat, both men and women.

I didn't wear a badge because I was trying to 'make people do something for me', I noticed from around 16 wks people were looking at my tummy and weren't sure whether to ask if I wanted a seat or not. I did actually get offered a seat that early with no badge, that would have been embarrassing if I wasn't actually pregnant!

In the first trimester I tried to go without a badge, naively thinking I could just ask. But the "morning" sickness on my homeward journey was so bad that I couldn't open my mouth to speak to anyone. It was all I could do to not vomit and to stay upright. The badge was a godsend then, and people always offered me a seat. Maybe because I also looked like I'd be sick on them...

Now at 20 weeks, the round ligament pain can be horrendous, at which point I can't keep myself upright for that long, particularly on a moving train. On very bad days I wear one because, not looking ill or disabled and not having a big bump, people don't always believe you when you ask. Sometimes I still have to ask but it does make it easier.

I’ve always had a seat when wearing the badge. I think people look out for them and they can really help when you’re in the ‘are they, aren’t they’ phase. They are a tool that can help you have an easier time so I don’t know why you’d be reluctant. I’ve only had people be nice to me. Sometimes I think it must be tube/train line dependent as some people seem to have horrid experiences but I never have.

@PeachCokeZero
For some reason I'm reminded of 'The Four Yorkshireman' sketch....

"Badges? Pah. In my day there were no badges, pregnant women were lucky just to get a seat on the way to work!"

"A seat? Luxury! In my day, if pregnant women wanted to get to work, they had to haul the train down the track themselves."

"Haul it? You mean they had rope? Luxury!! In my day pregnant women had to pull the train, in the dark and the cold, with their bare hands, whilst making cups of tea for all the men at the stops along the way."

🙄

@PeachCokeZero
As am I. As are presumably many people on this thread? I hope should you go on to be pregnant on on rush hour tubes again, that the Londoners that you've referred to as passive aggressive and cowardly, are more respectful to you, than you have been to them here.

I always found I was offered a seat. On the rare occasions I wasn’t I asked.

Perhaps they don’t like your attitude and don’t want to help you??

Being 18 for almost all of my pregnancy I feel people didn’t offer me a seat because I wasn’t your traditional ‘pregnant type’ and they weren’t sure how to ask me.

Always fun to stand the full half hour on the train after an 8 hour waitressing shift when you can barely fit your feet in your shoes.

I didn’t need any extra attention drawn to myself so would never have spoken up or worn a badge.

I had a badge in both pregnancies. I wore it from different points - in one pregnancy I was so horrifically nauseous early on that I needed a seat.

In my first pregnancy I rarely asked for a seat. I just loitered and hoped someone would offer.

In my second pregnancy, I just asked. I found standing near a section of seats and saying clearly 'Excuse me, would anyone mind if I took a seat please?' did the job. Only once did I have to finish it with 'Just I'm 7 months pregnant'. At that point, I was offered about 8 seats. 😂