Baby on Board Badge Experience

[Lafza]

Hi all,

If any of you are from London I’m curious to hear your experiences travelling on the tube/bus with a baby on board badge. I was really reluctant to wear mine but during the rush hours I’ve been advised it’s safer to make people aware. However I’ve noticed men seem to be the least sympathetic! They really could not care less whereas women are a lot more considerate - has anybody else noticed this?

I have a badge but feel really awkward wearing it. For me, it's not so much about needing to sit down as it is needing to avoid getting bumped, barged or squashed on the tube in rush hour. People have generally offered me a seat if I'm wearing the badge and if they don't I try and position myself in the middle of the tube aisle rather than by the doors where you have a bit more control over your personal space.

I asked someone to move once when I was around 12 weeks and feeling really nauseous and the man opposite rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath, which has put me off speaking up a bit. Felt like reminding him his mother was pregnant once and asking if he'd ever had vomit coming from his mouth and blood from his vagina at the same time every day for a week before work.

Generally though, women are just as bad at men at giving up their seats. My favourite commuters are the ones that shout 'CAN SOMEONE GIVE THIS PREGNANT WOMAN A SEAT PLEASE' on your behalf so introverts like me don't have to deal with the anxiety of speaking in front a carriage full of people at 7.15 in the morning. Those people are the best.

I think it’s best as well to shout at large group of sitters - targeting one person may make them feel embarrassed. They may have a hidden health condition you can’t see and don’t want to say to refuse giving up their seat.

Totally agree about being aware of hidden health conditions. We need to keep perspective and remember pregnancy is in most cases a gift/choice and we're lucky we don't have a long term health condition that would make it more difficult to stand.

I don't wear a badge (34 weeks). I have a short commute and no issues standing most of the time but on a few occasions I have felt a bit unwell etc so I have just asked and no one has ever actually refused.

What's much more of a problem is the pushing and shoving to get on the train/escalators.

My favourite commuters are the ones that shout 'CAN SOMEONE GIVE THIS PREGNANT WOMAN A SEAT PLEASE'

Done that

Totally agree about being aware of hidden health conditions

TFL have addressed that with the “Please offer me a seat” blue badge for those with hidden conditions.

Again, a good idea for those who don’t want to explain their medical history chapter and verse to the entire Piccadilly line.

I think it's fine wearing a badge, I empathise with the point that sometimes you feel a bit shy about asserting yourself. But also the tube is noisy, my voice is quiet, plenty of people are wearing earphones or distracted or hearing impaired... it just clarifies the situation doesn't it?

@PeachCokeZero - the challenge of raising children is something you build confidence through doing, gradually, isn't it. That doesn't mean people aren't entitled to occasional days where they're feeling less confident, during the stresses and strains a pregnancy can bring

What's much more of a problem is the pushing and shoving to get on the train/escalators.

That's also where the badge can help. I've had people give me more space when they've noticed it, especially in tube station lifts where normally people just shove you in as much as they can.

My favourite commuters are the ones that shout 'CAN SOMEONE GIVE THIS PREGNANT WOMAN A SEAT PLEASE'

I hate those people. I used to prefer standing mostly. People interfering on my behalf were rude and embarrassing.

Someone once pushed past 4 other people to demand someone in the priority seat stand for me. I was furious that she was talking for me and told her so.

I will give up my seat for someone who needs it, obviously. But when it's for someone wearing one of those twee Baby on Board badges I do do it with a smidge of reluctance, an inward eye roll and a wonder as to what got their tongue.

Found this interesting reading as I’m just considering when to use my badge. I’m only 7 weeks so would rather not use it yet for fear of someone I know seeing me. But I do think I’d struggle if I couldn’t get a seat which has been close a few times coming home. The nausea and exhaustion would make it difficult to stand on a packed train.

Pre-pregnancy I did look out for the badges on people getting on and always, always moved for others in need. I found the badges helpful so that I didn’t offend anyone. Seeing this thread though has put me off wearing it for fear of the eye rolling attitudes I might face on the train.

BellaNutella you can just ask. People usually respond well. You don't need to say you're pregnant if you don't want to. A simple, "would you mind if I sit down, I'm not feeling well" usually results in multiple offers.

I have done when pregnant, when suddenly dizzy with a virus and once when I was just massively hungover and felt like shite. It's not that scary honest!

@DappledThings you are right, I should just ask and I’m usually a pretty confident person so if I need to I will. I do think the badge makes it easier though and saves any embarrassment from someone saying no.

I hate those people. I used to prefer standing mostly. People interfering on my behalf were rude and embarrassing.

I've never done it without quietly asking the woman first whether she'd like me to try to get her a seat. Yes, just doing it out of nowhere could well be rude & embarrassing!

I think they are silly, I would inwardly eye roll if I saw one or even got asked. If you feel ill just ask someone to move, weather your pregnant or not. I've travelled on the tube to radio/chemo at the marsden and if I felt unwell I'd ask for a seat but don't think I require a badge to have to advertise to the train that I'm ill. So many more people have conditions that require them to be seated, just because it's not obvious doesn't mean it's not there. Being pregnant doesn't make you anymore important than anyone else silently struggling too.

I wore mine from 13 weeks and always had offers of a seat, even when the tube was quiet and I was only going two stops. My favourite experience was being on a very busy carriage, not being able to get near seats, and a woman in her 60s/70s very forthrightly yelled out “there’s a pregnant lady here, please make way and let her sit down!” I could have kissed her for that, so so helpful! However, I rarely travelled in rush hour so getting on a packed tube didn’t happen that often.

Since then, I’ve always made an effort to look up at each stop to check if there’s a pregnant lady getting on who needs a seat, as I remember how grateful I was for those who helped me. I think the badges are brilliant!

Totally fine to wear the badge, I’m mystified by the passive aggressive twee labelling. I wear it from 5 weeks so even though I don’t look remotely pregnant I might be offered a seat or if I ask for a seat they only have to glance at the badge to know why instead of wondering what my disability is. I would be unable to catch the tube without a seat, I’d be throwing up and in bed for a day afterwards in those early months. It was completely necessary for the days I could make it into work. Ive often been offered a seat by men; and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest to ask for a seat, commuters are zombies and it’s nothing personal.

people should ask for a seat if they need one

Whereas I think the badges help everyone, pregnant or with hidden disabilities. Not everyone can ask for a seat easily - social anxiety, mental illness, English not being very good etc.

It's also not like there are people who need seats and people who don't - there's a spectrum. The badges allow people who are totally fine with standing to offer first, instead of you potentially asking people who also feel the need for a seat. There's nothing twee about them and they obviously work or tfl wouldn't invest in them.

Ask if you need a seat. Otherwise be prepared to stand.

Be aware though there are plenty of people travelling every day who equally need their seat, for various reasons, and don't wear a badge labelling themselves with their invisible disability.

You would be wrong to assume that because someone doesn't get up to automatically offer that they are being selfish. You have no idea of their own situation.

However, I would hope that when requested, if someone were indeed able to, then they would let you sit in their place.

The main reason I would wear a baby on board badge and not just put it on my bag like I did last time, is to stop people particularly younger women walking into me when I got off public transport. I ended up giving a lady a push because she barged into my stomach and didn't apologise. She was then too scared to confront me and no one stuck up for her when I asked her loudly "Did she always delibrately walk into pregnant women?"

I still get the same category of people walking into me if I walk around with my baby in a wrap/carrier yet motorists and cyclists clearly stop for me to cross the road. One male cyclist even apologised to me when it wasn't his fault and nothing happened.

Being pregnant doesn’t give you the right to assault people!

I had a badge but didn't really use the tube, I did however use the train daily and as I was a season ticket holder, I got an exemption card to sit in 1st class if all seats in 2nd class were taken. It made a huge difference, esp as one man sneered at me "what, you're pregnant are you?!" when I asked for his seat. It was at the height of summer, it was blazing hot and I'd just spend the day before in hospital with expected contractions (fibroids causing it). I never felt so tearful in my life.