Baby on Board Badge Experience

[Lafza]

Hi all,

If any of you are from London I’m curious to hear your experiences travelling on the tube/bus with a baby on board badge. I was really reluctant to wear mine but during the rush hours I’ve been advised it’s safer to make people aware. However I’ve noticed men seem to be the least sympathetic! They really could not care less whereas women are a lot more considerate - has anybody else noticed this?

As a pregnant commuter I found the badge sometimes got me a seat, sometimes didn’t. In peak rush hour I was so jammed in nobody could see a badge anyway, especially as I’m short, the badge was usually wedged against someone’s coat.

As a non pregnant commuter I find badges incredibly helpful. Often I have wondered whether someone is pregnant or just overweight and so have not dared to offer. Once I did offer and she wasn’t pregnant (luckily it was a tucked in scarf under her coat not weight). The badge helps avoid all this.

I’m a pretty forthright person and wouldn’t be shy about asking but don’t think it’s fair to expect everyone to be the same. Are shy people (or those feeling too ill to be forthright) not allowed to live in London??

Don't think I had one journey that no one offered me a seat throughout my entire pregnancy commuting to central London!

My badge made me feel more comfortable about sitting in priory seats. Often the bump wasn't visible when I was sitting down, esp with my bag in my lap, and I felt the badge indicated to other priority-seat-needers that I wasn’t just a CF taking up their spot.

I had a badge and it was useful. Most of the time I was less bothered about getting a seat and more about not being elbowed in the bump! I sometimes found it very scary on a super crowded rush hour train or tube. When people keep cramming on and you’re wedged in. But like a PP often someone would kindly offer their seat halfway down the carriage and I’d feel bad turning their offer down - but battling through the other packed commuters to get to the seat and then back again a few stops later was just more effort than it was worth.

Sometimes of course the train was not full to bursting and I was knackered and really needed a seat. If no one looked up from their books / papers / phones I would address the carriage at large “excuse me but would anyone mind giving up their seat so I can sit down?” In that instance when people look up they see the badge and it does help I think. Only once was this met with stony silence and pretending not to hear. A man from the next part of the carriage got up and made everyone else who had ignored me feel bad.

So I would say
Yes a badge is worth it and helpful to others
But do be prepared to speak up and ask

Congratulations!

PeachCokeZero even if I agreed with that, what about the (many) people who have a baby in London and then move out of London when the baby is a toddler...? Cmon you can’t really be suggesting shy people shouldn’t be pregnant in London.

Hmm. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal to ask for a seat, but I can think of a lot of successful Londoners I know who would feel reluctant to address a crowded tube carriage. And they’re not even particularly shy.

I’m the opposite- I’m that person who says “MOVE DOWN PLEASE” when no one is budging - but I don’t hear many people doing the same. Maybe it’s because they all don’t mind the lack of space? I think lots of people find it hard addressing a group of people they don’t know, especially to ask for something.

Anyway, what harm does it do if they wear a badge instead of asking?

I agree with everything @PeachCokeZero has said on this thread.

7 months pregnant. I commute via train and two tubes each day, each way. I had horrendous morning sickness. The idea of having to (and I did - repeatedly) ask to sit down when I was desperately trying not to vomit would have made it all worse. The badge helped.

I’m not remotely unassertive and have zero issue asking for a seat but it’s embarrassing. I’m bloody massive. Yet I’m still ignored. I commute during rush hour - no choice - and it’s rammed - unsafe for me to not be sitting quite frankly. IMO it’s decent to offer - I offered mine today to an elderly man with a stick - funnily enough the pregnant lady offering him a seat prompted a rash of offers from others...

make people LESS likely to offer a seat to someone who looks like they might be pregnant , but isn't wearing a badge.
Nah. People are pretty nervous about offering a seat if they aren’t sure and fair enough. Once I’ve been clearly quite pregnant though not one person has ever craned their head checking for a badge before jumping up to offer me a seat.

There was some idiot on a thread a while ago who said that when she was pregnant & people offered her a seat, she thought it was funny to act offended & tell them she was just fat.

If I'm fairly sure someone's pregnant I'll risk offering, badge or no badge. But it is embarrassing when you get it wrong!

Piccadilly line this morning, a woman got on & said 'I'm not feeling well, can I sit down?' and I did notice that I was the only one to look up, let alone move .

Each to their own. When it’s v v crowded despite being 7 months pregnant, the badge does make it easier to identify me - white badge / black coat. But when I’m really struggling (third tri nausea fun or sciatica) I ask. I’d rather not have to but I will ask. It’s interesting often that it’s people sitting several seats in that will offer and only then will people sitting in the priority seat / closer will offer as they’ve been shamed into it. People do see - I don’t buy the whole ‘no one ever sees pregnant commuters’.

Agree peaches - badges aren’t going to make someone who would never offer, offer - and also agree that when you do ask people to react - often like they’re scalded! I suppose I just find it boggling that so heavily (and I’m huge) pregnant people aren’t decent enough to offer.

It’s just horrid isn’t it? I had a full blown panic attack in my first tri in my first pregnancy when I’d asked someone repeatedly not to push me as I was pregnant - his other half instructed him to push me out of the way. It was awful.

Feb. But finishing work in 3 weeks for Christmas so probably not going back! I find it v stressful!!!

Defintely! I love getting the train / tube with my husband (scary looking South African) as he gets me a seat each time! He usually cycles though 😞

I live in Bristol but go to London with work every couple of weeks. I wear a badge when I go - not because I want a seat (I'm one of the lucky ones so far with little nausea etc) but because I don't want to be knocked into.
I didn't wear the badge on one of the tube journeys and about 8 people in a row barged into me whilst moving off the train.
I have been offered seats and I've thanked the person but declined - I don't need it. But I don't understand the judgement around people making others aware that they're pregnant (without having to shout it to a train) to reduce the chance of people pushing them and/or having a seat offered.
Sorry if I offend anyone by wearing a badge and not wanting to assert my confidence/dominance by shouting to everyone around me instead 😂
And if I ever saw somebody wearing a badge when I was seated I'd immediately offer a seat - having likely been unaware of scared to make assumptions otherwise. I really don't seem how they harm anyone?!

There's alot of preciousness going on here. Presumably most of you are travelling to and from work, so logically if you're well enough to be at work you should be perfectly fine to stand on a train or tube. I find it very difficult to believe for the majority that the 'exhaustion and nausea' of early pregnancy means you can't possibly stand for a whole 30 minutes. Like someone said up thread there are lots of people on public transport who may also feel be feeling rubbish and therefore need a seat. These badges didn't exist when I was pregnant and commuting. If I needed seat I asked. For me, that was right at the end of pregnancy when the train was rammed and I had people pressing into me.

Oh EmmaGemma - you sound like an idiot who has zero idea of how horrible morning sickness/hypermesis is. You go to work because most people can’t call in sick for 9 months (although many end up eventually do so). It’s not ‘preciousness’. Next time you have a tummy bug ride around on the tube standing and go to work and see how you feel. Then you need to repeat that for 9 months or loose your job - enjoy! Don’t make ignorant comments about things you know nothing about