Baby on Board Badge Experience

[Lafza]

Hi all,

If any of you are from London I’m curious to hear your experiences travelling on the tube/bus with a baby on board badge. I was really reluctant to wear mine but during the rush hours I’ve been advised it’s safer to make people aware. However I’ve noticed men seem to be the least sympathetic! They really could not care less whereas women are a lot more considerate - has anybody else noticed this?

Totally fine to wear the badge and the only negativity I’ve encountered about it is on mumsnet.

I think they’re really helpful in the winter as baby bumps are not as easy to spot under coats. I once had an older male boss tell me how great they are as he doesn’t have to question whether a woman is pregnant or just heavy around the middle!

I found people’s kindness and the likelihood of getting a seat really depended on the type of transport or line. So:

-Reading train to and from Waterloo, getting on at Richmond- rarely offered a seat, even when in the last trimester and suffering a bit

-waterloo and city line- usually offered a seat by men and women (except when squashed up by the door)

-buses- almost never offered a seat

• most tube lines - usually offered a seat (but once told off for not requesting one when everyone was ignoring my bulging belly!)

-most slow stopping trains in and out of main London stations- people practically falling over themselves to help me and make sure I had a seat.

Last time round I only started wearing it once I was showing clearly as I felt silly wearing it before then. I normally get a seat on my train anyway but I did find people would get up and offer me a seat nearer the door and then take the one further down themselves.

Good timing of this thread as I wore mine for the first time on the train yesterday.
No seat offered on busy Paddington train and as there were signal problems the journey took an hour instead of 25 mins, standing outside the toilets. I ended up sitting on the floor when I got tired, with people stepping over me to reach the toilets. I like to think there was a smattering of guilt as people saw the badge.
Not sure I'll bother with the badge again and will just ask for a seat. Tube was fine though.
I'm not a fan of baby on board car window badges so maybe rail commuters see these in the same light.

No badges when I was pregnant in London, didn't get a seat even when huge - not that you could get near the seats to be honest. I switched my hours and route to the stopping train that was at its second stop so had space and the bus instead of the tube

To the poster who mentioned the baby on board car sticker. We brought one to stop the young racers in the area intimidating us when driving (driving really close/flashing lights to 'invite' for a race).

PeachCokeZero you’re coming across to me in exactly the same way as sar302 described.
Live and let live eh?

@brightstarrysky I've noticed the same as you that it depends on the line. I live in z6, South West Trains from Waterloo (suburban services rather than Reading trains) and quite literally the minute I'm on the train I'm offered at least one seat. By men, women, children, whoever. It's a similar story on the district line in the evening going westbound. I won't be on for longer than a stop max before having someone offer a seat even if I don't stand by the chairs. The Victoria line has been mixed but I'm usually only on for a few stops so don't mind.

Piccadilly line and buses... No way. The people on the Piccadilly line are either tourists too concerned about their excessively large suitcase making as much of a nusiance as possible during peak or commuters who obviously notice your badge, look you up and down and then go back to their phone.

The way I see it is that I've offered loads of pregnant/disabled/old people seats over the years and my need right now is greater than some of the people in the seats. I've always worried about offering it to someone who I think is pregnant without a badge incase they're not, so I think I'm helping people out. Again the only place I've ever seen people have an issue with the badge is on here so I'm not going to take it to heart. If you don't want a badge then don't get one, just like everything else in life.

The thing I don't like is that the people with the "please offer me a seat" badges get ignored in a way the "baby on board" badges don't. I'll be starting chemo/radio about 3 months after giving birth so will be exhausted beyond exhausted. I'll continue to wear my baby on board badge instead as I think that will get me a seat quicker than the one I should actually be wearing... But ah well!!

I appreciate the badges because it means I don't have to judge whether I'm about to insult somebody!

I've been wearing a badge since about 10 weeks pregnant, I was horribly nauseous, travel sick and faint and I would panic if I couldn't see any seats and wait for the next train instead. Wearing the badge has made me feel more comfortable asking for a seat. I'm not nauseous any more but still feel like I need a seat when the train is busy because my balance is off and people push and shove on the tube. People are mostly lovely and offer a seat, I've found that women are more likely to than men.

I do feel awkward wearing the badge outside of the tube but it's a right faff taking it on and off all the time so I've stopped caring if people think it's weird!

@sar302 at the Pythonesque reference

I’ve worn mine for all three pregnancies but this one has been the earliest: from 7 weeks as the nausea and vertigo has been off the scale and can hit so fast.

Most people are decent and offer their seat if the see you standing. Do have to say though in this pg, as with the others the chief offenders are ladies of approx 50ish.

That’s just my experience but it really struck me. Teens, men of a variety of age groups, even pensioners have offered. As I said, most folk are decent and I’ve lived on underground and overground lines so it’s not a just a “Victoria Line” thing, say.

Tbh if someone isn’t going to notice a pregnancy bump then they won’t see a silly little badge. Just ask if no one is polite enough to offer a seat

@bertramkibbler

Not true. Especially when you have no bump and are are feeling at your shitest. Usually before weeks 12-16.

That’s where these badges really do help.

In a way I do agree with BertramKibbler: Not that the badges are silly but that they don’t always get noticed.

I think a mixture of wearing the badge (if you want) but also asking for a seat if no one offers (and you need it) is probably the best option.

Ah, I don’t think pregnant women should have special seat entitlement before their bump is causing issues. Plenty of people take the tube every day feeling very poorly! With a big bump your balance is off, you need to be protected from knocks and bangs, it’s sensible to be sitting. With morning sickness and tiredness I don’t consider myself any different to anyone else

Get the badge and wear it. If you want a seat and nobody offers just ask someone. I can guarantee they won't decline a pregnant woman a seat when asked. In the unlikely even they do, someone nearby will offer you theirs. It's worked every time for me!

Ah, I don’t think pregnant women should have special seat entitlement before their bump is causing issues. Plenty of people take the tube every day feeling very poorly! With a big bump your balance is off, you need to be protected from knocks and bangs, it’s sensible to be sitting. With morning sickness and tiredness I don’t consider myself any different to anyone else

I've never been pregnant & I don't want to be but if someone's feeling shit & they're not yet showing, I'd want the opportunity to offer them a seat. Same as I hope anyone who was feeling rough would ask for a seat.

The key there is “same as anyone who was feeling rough” we basically agree...

Ok so when I pass out and go down like a factory chimney on the 16:42 from Vauxhall, head butting your laptop in the process I’ll bear this in mind.

Cheers.

I had to regularly pop to London whether that was for my MA course or for work and wore my Bump on Board badge from about 10 weeks as I really suffered from nausea and fainting during pregnancy plus SPD.

Only twice did I ever get offered a seat, one of these was an old man and another a young girl, and the times I asked if I could have a seat either people ignored me, pretended to be asleep, said no or just stared at my belly and rolled their eyes. I eventually stopped asking and then because of the difficulty of standing on a packed train and tube I stopped attending uni (thankfully they were understandable and I could continue studying from home).

Actually to be fair there was this one time these two young men, on a commuter train to london shouted at people in the carriage to let me have a seat when no one moved when I asked. It was really awkward that they had to get involved but also I was so grateful for that seat.

It has always surprised me how different the experiences are of these badges!

Tbh I wouldn't even notice it. I actively avoid looking at people and even if my eyes glanced past you I would t pick up on a badge. I probably wouldn't offer a seat for the same reason, I don't check everyone out to see if someone needs a seat. I would totally stand for a pregnant lady of asked though.

If you're sitting in a priority seat and you don't need it, you should probably be checking at each stop for people who may need it. There's a reason they exist and nobody is entitled to one just because they got there first. They're clearly marked so it's not like the person doesn't know they're sitting in a seat that says "please offer this seat to people who may need it" with a big blue sticker with pictures of pregnant, disabled and elderly people on it!

If I need to ask, I ask the people in the priority seats first and hope I don't embarrass them if they have to say no. It's so much simpler if someone offers first.

I couldn't wait to read this thread when I saw it! I'm 9 weeks and always thought I wouldn't need a badge until I started to show but by week 6 my sickness and exhaustion was so bad I got one.

So far it has been so hit and miss whether I get a seat, I find it worse getting on the train...People just push and bundle on so by the time I make it on I can't even get in eyesight of the seats.
But today for the first time 3 people saw me and the badge and just looked away, ( 2 women and 1 man fyi )I wasn't even close enough to say anything either, unless I wanted to shout on a quiet train at 7am.
I'm also quite shy so don't like demanding a seat and some days I don't need one.

Very hit and miss I guess!

If you're sitting in a priority seat and you don't need it, you should probably be checking at each stop for people who may need it

Perhaps I should have been clearer.

I don't check to see if people need a seat but I don't sit in priority seating either.

’But today for the first time 3 people saw me and the badge and just looked away,’

Perhaps they were also entitled to a seat. (Although odds are not all three were.)