Baby on Board Badge Experience

[Lafza]

Hi all,

If any of you are from London I’m curious to hear your experiences travelling on the tube/bus with a baby on board badge. I was really reluctant to wear mine but during the rush hours I’ve been advised it’s safer to make people aware. However I’ve noticed men seem to be the least sympathetic! They really could not care less whereas women are a lot more considerate - has anybody else noticed this?

I’m with the minority who don’t really get the point. Mostly because, complications aside, I’m really not sure what the issue is with standing. Obviously I’d rather sit down, but that’s true when I’m not pregnant.

This isn’t a “pregnancy isn’t an illness” thing - of course if you feel shit do what you need to do, wear a badge, be assertive, get a seat.

I’m nearly 38w, and commuting, but I’m lucky, active and basically feel fine so haven’t bothered with a badge. People offer me seats (there’s no mistaking me for chubby at this stage), which is really kind and I appreciate it but I’ve yet to feel so desperate to sit down that I need it. As I say, lucky.

As a side note, the only time I’ve felt my big bump being actively ignored is by the occasional woman with a badge, marching over (looking very mobile, flat of stomach and firm on her feet) and barging past my hippo-like form for her seat entitlement. It’s possible on the few occasions this has happened they had terrible nausea, dizziness and so on. It’s also possible they were absolutely fine and just a tiny bit self absorbed and entitled and were using pregnancy as a justification for that.

I'm not an idiot. I just have a different opinion to you that's all. This is a discussion board after all.

If someone had hyperemesis they would be incapable of working and therefore off sick. Morning sickness is not comparable to hyperemesis. If someone feels sick then of course they should sit down, as they would if they just had a stomach bug. But there seems to be a certain attitude by some posters that just by virtue of them being pregnant they should have a seat. All I'm saying is, in the vast majority of cases I can't see how this is really necessary. The exception of course is someone feeling ill or just the logistics of standing in a rammer train with a huge tummy. But if you're well enough to go to work, chase around after you other children if you have them, do the housework, go to the gym, just live life basically. Why the sudden inability to stand on a tube for 30 mins?

And yes I do know what I'm talking about as I have 2 children and commuted whilst pregnant with both!

Carey the issue when its early and you feel awful/sick is that you feel awful/sick

The issue once past 14+weeks is that if the train did an emergency stop, someone elbowed you or pushed you over or if an accident happened you might get a blow to your tummy and lose or cause harm to your baby.

Emma - I had hypermesis and had to work and also look after a toddler. I didn’t have an option not to. I took lots of anti sickness medication, did everything I could to reduce it and just had to get on with it. I used to walk down the road vomiting pushing my older child in the pram. Tube journeys I’d get off a stop, vomit in a bag on a platform them have to get back on and go to work. I worked for a start up company. If I had called in sick for 9 months I would have been sacked.

It’s great you felt well and strong in pregnancy but not everyone does. Ultimately you are accepting/requesting a seat to protect the child inside you - not for you.

The issue once past 14+weeks is that if the train did an emergency stop, someone elbowed you or pushed you over or if an accident happened you might get a blow to your tummy and lose or cause harm to your baby

Do you honestly believe someone elbowing you or in the unlikely event of falling on a packed train (most people hold onto something) will be enough for you to lose your baby? Best wrap yourself up in cotton wool and have done with it.

Emma - yes! Of course that can happen if someone pregnant fell badly or you took a blow to the tummy.

Oh do bugger off. I had horrific MS - but it was simply that. By mid morning I was fine - but my commute was awful. I too carried bags with me. Should I have just not gone to work?

Secondly - I commute via an incredibly busy tube line. It’s rammed. I don’t think I’m going to lose my baby if I’m elbowed in the tummy but why should I be put in a position whereby I’m likely to fall over and hurt myself because someone won’t give me a seat?

Bully for you that you didn’t need a seat - I did and do. I regularly stand but also ask for a seat. My job is desk based and involves waddling to meetings or being at my desk but still an hour + commute.

A baby is say in fluid deep inside someones body. An elbow in the stomach as someone pushes past is highly unlikely to cause a miscarriage. It's ridiculous to suggest otherwise. The type of contact you have on a packed train is not a 'blow'. That suggests violence and excessive force like an assault or battering.

As for the fall, I imagine there's more risk there but if you're on a packed train then you'll most likely just be falling into the next person rather than falling with a great deal of force.

If you truly think you're at that much risk what happens in the other areas of your life? The busy shop, the queue for lunch, going up and down stairs. It just seems to me the perception of risk is out of kilter with the reality of the situation.

I agree with the later who also said the badges feed into this Idea that pregnancy women are helpless and mute.

And I regularly don’t feel fine - I m finishing earlier than ideal for the very reason my commute is so busy and so stressful. This pisses me off as it is.

I’m not hapless or mute - I speak for myself but this has extended to a discussion about the need for a seat while pregnant rather than the virtue of the badge.

This is a discussion board. If people 'buggered off' or wouldn't be much of a discussion. As I said if someone feels sick, then of course they should sit down. Once you get bigger I can see why you would need a seat because you're unstable on your feet. I am talking about this attitude of 'I' m pregnant so therefore I need a seat'.

Anyway, I need to go and do the kids breakfasts. Have a good day everyone.

Lots of people with hyperemesis work. I staggered in by 10:30 most days, worked from home some days, took some days sick. At home I went straight to bed. Weekends I stayed in bed. I took all the tablets. I would lose much less weight if I could just rest but I can’t.

I wear one. I do find it a bit passive aggressive but then again I’d rather people knew so they don’t push and shove me as much. I commute during rush hour on packed tubes both ways I just want people to know not to push me. I’ve been offered a seat probably about half the times or worn it. I don’t mind standing unless I’m feeling faint, sick or my back is really hurting - which is does by the end of a work day. I find regular commuters will often be the ones to offer me seats, men and women. Tourists won’t but they don’t get it so that’s fine.

@BertramKibbler - No it's called self-defence.

@PeachCokeZero - Do you have a reading comprehension issue? Notice I said "younger women" not "young", and didn't state the sex of all the motorists and cyclists but only one cyclist. Oh and if I really want to start an argument with you I would point out my OH thinks it is racist and an example of everyday racism.