Am I being stupid?

[gemmaaaxxx]

I'm pregnant, i live with my mother in law and partner, my partner is 22. I'm 20. He doesn't work. And I'm not at work due to a broken arm. I'm on universal credit. So only get a little bit a month to live on, I'm assuming his mum claims housing benefits for me. She must do. Yet she wants my money from universal credit, leaving me with £40 to live on, buy myself baby bits, and maternity clothes, and food, and other bits. Am I being stupid by arguing against this? Or does she have a right? Surely she would be saying her son needs to work and help provide (I'm looking for a small job) before I go on maternity leave. Ladies am I being overthinking about this? Because it's starting to bring me down.

Partner's mother cannot claim housing benefits for you, and if youlive with your partner you should be claiming uc jointly.

She gets his pip money, all his money him and his mum use together?

Am I driving myself insane thinking she's being unfair, because I've got to pay everything for baby. And he gets everything free from his mum? Lives there rent free, and I have to pay?! Is this fair? X

None of them work may I add, none of them!, but she told me I needed to get everything for baby, because she can't help, nore can my partner, yet I'm on uc ?

Sorry for the span, just needs to put my brain at rest

He needs to get a job and find a place for you /him /baby.

I’d be trying to get my own place to live quite frankly. They sound awful, both of them. They both refuse to work, she takes all his money and wants yours?!

Yes! Shes expected me to live on £40 a month? Am I taking this out of proportion or have I got a valid point?!

Maybe a trip to the job centre or CAB is in order to get some real advice.

Having a baby is a huge responsibility and you need to work out a budget/ plan as to how you're going to afford everything you need for your baby when they arrive.

You can't rely upon anyone else... any support is a bonus.

My mums had to buy me a buggy which she shouldn't have too. Nice of my mum. May I add. But his mums said "oh great least your have a buggy" I just think there being negative about it all?!

If your living in her house then she can charge what she likes, if you don’t want to pay your option is to move out.
If he has no money then he can’t really buy baby stuff either?

Unfortunately she's entitled to ask you to contribute if you're living in her house. Doesn't make it fair given her son seems a waste of space and is living there too, but you either move out and find somewhere to live yourselves or he mans up and gets a job and pays his mum what she wants. She might not want her son, his partner and a newborn baby all living in her house and think that this might galvanise the pair of you to find alternative accommodation.

He's has money, his mum just takes it and puts it in her bank, leaving him with nothing, because she's jobless and gone bank rupt

How are you going to afford to look after the baby more importantly!

Where will you be living with the baby? I think you need to move out now.

Do you mean that your partner's pip is paid into his account (if I understand correctly it has to be paid in to the claimant's account), he then cashes it, hands it over to his mother, and she pays it in to her own account?

Bizzare.

I don't mean to sound rude or horrible but I think it's time to sort your life out. You need to live somewhere else, if he's not the waste of space he sounds then he needs to get a job and start living as an adult too. I'm not saying this will be easy but there's baby on the way so it's time. Speak to the CAB about your entitlements, get yourself on the list for social housing, get yourself organised.

How are you planning to pay to support the baby?
You’re living in her house so she can charge you what she wants, essentially. You need to find a way to move out with your partner and support yourselves.

his mum just takes it
He's an adult, why is he allowing his mother to just 'take it'.

As other PPs have said you really need to sort all this out before baby comes along. Your DP needs to get off his arse, stand up to his mother, not give her his money and get a bloody job. You need to start looking for housing and put plans in place to live as adults and support your child.

My partner told me, he's not leaving home he's living with his mum because its been them since "day one" ...

So you're going to live with her forever?

Time to get your own place op.

My partner told me, he's not leaving home he's living with his mum because its been them since "day one" ...

it was my and my parents ‘from day 1’ too... it’s the same for most people! No one would ever leave home if everyone though like that!

Are you sure your partner’s mum is taking his money and putting it in her bank or, is she just ensuring he pays his way? He’s not getting his rent free if he’s paying money into her account.

My partners mum doesn't give him any money of his, she uses for herself, and dogs, her fuel, and ordering pointless shit (blankets for dogs) and shit.

If she’s taking all his money then he’s not getting his rent ‘free’ is he? He’s paying his mum.