Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Thoughts on baby showers?

103 replies

Gobletoffire · 23/10/2018 18:41

I’m sure this has been asked many times, sorry if it has, but what’s your thoughts on a baby shower? If you’ve previously had a baby, did you have one?

I hadn’t really given it thought but a few friends have mentioned helping me plan one, the last three from my group of friends that have been pregnant all had baby showers! They were nice little get together a but the more I think about it, the more I feel that I don’t want the stress, expense and people feeling like they have to buy me a gift! I had just planned to have a bit of a ‘leaving meal’ out with my work colleagues and my mum was going to cook all the family a dinner/have a little buffet and gathering a little while AFTER baby has arrived.

What’s everyone’s thoughts? Will you be having a baby shower?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WerewolfNumber1 · 23/10/2018 18:42

I really don’t like them.

It is grabby - the whole point is that people shower you with gifts.

Purplehammer · 23/10/2018 18:45

In a word.
Vulgar.

crackerslikejacobs · 23/10/2018 18:47

We did one for my sister at my mums house a few years back, just a couple of her closest friends and our family. A couple of people brought gifts which was kind of them but there was definitely no gift table or awkward opening or anything like that.

We used it as an opportunity for my sister to get together with her nearest and dearest and catch up and have a natter about all things baby and beyond.

I've been to another baby shower when mother to be asked everyone to que for photos with her and had to pose a certain way in front of a back drop. So I think the term baby shower is very widely used 😂

adoggymama · 23/10/2018 18:49

I wouldn't have one tbh, very American! Also I find they're a bit insensitive if you're trying to conceive and haven't but been invited to one.

Also don't have any friends who'd throw one for me.

C0untDucku1a · 23/10/2018 18:51

They are good fun at a time (late pregnancy) when your fun options are limited.

Just make sure you dont invite any judgemental fun sponges...

Iwantplaits · 23/10/2018 18:52

I feel awkward about them. It makes me all superstitious But I had bumpy pregnancies so wasnt celebrating anything until after the births.

chipshape · 23/10/2018 18:53

I think they're a lovely get together for friends. I've been to about 6 (Ireland) and they've all been casual, bring a present if you want but totally normal not to, usually nice grub, good chats.. what's not to like? When your group of friends start having babies you tend not to see each other as much so a baby shower is a good excuse to catch up.

penisbeakers · 23/10/2018 18:54

I don't like them. If you are going to have a child, it's your responsibility to pay for their stuff. Throwing a baby shower is code for "hey I have procreated therefore you should give me things."

Cheeky as fuck.

SoyDora · 23/10/2018 18:55

I wouldn’t have one. But I’m generally happy to attend them. I don’t like all the cringey games but it’s nice to get together with friends and eat cake!

Merrz · 23/10/2018 18:55

I don't want to sound morbid but i've only been to one baby shower and the baby died at birth so I really don't like them, mainly for the fact I find it a bit uncomfortable celebrating a baby before it is actually born. I would far prefer people came to visit and give gifts once baby is born.

Lilbear14 · 23/10/2018 18:57

I personally don't like them, but each to their own.
I wouldn't have one myself, and I've never even been to one because most people I know are not interested in them either.

I got invited to one a few years ago, I couldn't attend due to work. My god hell broke lose with the expecting mother. I was a terrible friend apparently even though she's never had anything to do with my kids. Safe to say, we don't speak.

Iloveacurry · 23/10/2018 19:00

My kids are 10 and 7, and I didn’t have one as they weren’t a thing back then 😂 But i have been to a couple since. The only thing is that you’re expected to buy a present, then when the baby arrives, you’re expected to buy another present!

Kescilly · 23/10/2018 19:01

I'm American so I've enjoyed planning and attending ones in the States. That being said, I've read some horror stories of ones here and it doesn't sound like a custom that has translated well. Unless you know all your friends would enjoy it, I don't think I'd have one in the UK.

TheMonkeyMummy · 23/10/2018 19:01

I hate them. Some mums threw me one for my last child and I was horrified. Grabby horrid things. Save the presents for after the birth x

ThankyouLinus · 23/10/2018 19:08

Im pregnant with my second child. Didn't have one before and don't want one now. It's just not my thing, although I wouldn't judge someone for having one

twiglet · 23/10/2018 19:09

It's personal choice I don't like them and have made excuses not to go in the past.

I'm happy to have a girly catch up, meal etc but not a baby shower.

chipsandpeas · 23/10/2018 19:12

im 50/50 about them, if im close enough to you that i would be getting you a gift then im ok with them
if your just an acquaintance or a work colleague then i think its pretty grabby

LikeIcare · 23/10/2018 19:13

I don't like them.

They are grabby and often involve enforced games or gender reveals (shudders).

Kaykay06 · 23/10/2018 19:15

Been to one and it was awful tbh, really didn’t enjoy it and didn’t feel comfortable buying a gift until baby had arrived so bought a Luxury pamper set for the mtb instead but if I was invited to another I’d pass. My sister had afternoon tea prior to her baby in May no gifts etc and that was lovely just a child free get together

Bellabutterfly2016 · 23/10/2018 19:15

My work colleagues threw me one when I had dd (now 3); it was lovely of them, we went to a local tearoom for an afternoon tea and they'd invited my mum, nanny and auntie too.

My manager paid for me and my family (which my mum tried to give her the money she wouldn't take it) and all the other girls paid £12 per head. They all bought very generous gifts and tbh it was a lovely idea but I was a bit embarrassed by it all.

Baby number 2 on the way - won't be entertaining it this time - I'm finishing work around Xmas tho so hopefully people will be Pre-occupied with that.

SB2017 · 23/10/2018 19:21

I had one but my husband and mum organised it. It was just full of games and a buffet with all my friends and some family. It was good fun but I wouldn’t go out and organise one myself.

Goostacean · 23/10/2018 19:22

I had a get-together post-baby. He was about... 5-6 weeks old? And we were emigrating for a year a few weeks later, so it was a lovely chance to see people and introduce the little one. I’m a bit superstitious- I know it’s completely silly, but I also didn’t want to celebrate a baby until it had safely arrived. You never know, after all.

HereForTheLineEyes · 23/10/2018 19:23

I haven't had one for any of my pregnancies and won't for my current one. Like PP have said I'd rather celebrate the baby once they have safely arrived. I have experienced miscarriage, one of my best friends lost a baby to stillbirth, one lost one at 6 wks old, my cousin and sister suffer from PCOS, and my sister in law struggled to conceive. I think it can be quite insensitive, so many people have private struggles around babies. I'm sure everyone is very happy for the pregnant lady, but attending a baby shower can be a big ask for people who are going through enough already.

If you want to see your friends before your time gets monopolized by a baby (because it will do ) why not just say "do you fancy going for lunch sometime around this date?".

Baby showers seems very "let's spend a couple of hours focusing on ME", and it is totally unnecessary if all you genuinely want is to see your friends.

sparkles212 · 23/10/2018 20:09

I had one and it was a lovely afternoon. However the closer it got to the day the more angsty I was about the fact that I wasn't guaranteed a healthy baby and I kept thinking how I would repay people if I had a stillbirth or something.

On the day I catered for everyone and provided lots of cake which I made (I'm a cake maker and would've sold the same cake for £120) and my friend did favours etc. My reasoning for having one, apart from people bugging me to have one, was that I'd never had a party for anything my whole life and I'd attended numerous celebrations for friends and bought endless gifts so thought sod it why not. I also told people however there was no need to bring anything as we had everything we needed. I just wanted a fun day. Admittedly by the end of the day I felt like a massive CF and embarrassed by the amount of gifts I did get. I'm glad I had it but I wouldn't do it again for another baby as that really is CF! If you want one have one. People who want to be there will come xx

Kay2705 · 23/10/2018 20:14

I'll be having one. Lovely lil get together with friends and family at home

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread