Due January 2019 (3rd thread)

[Buttercup53]

Starting a new thread for the January 2019 crew! Newcomers welcome :)

@harryfan1604 and @merrz that sounds like a horrible situation. Can you speak to your in-laws/parents about how you feel?
Just stay focused on your own experience and your own bundle of joy at the end of it and all the positive things that are yet to come

My brother and his girlfriend are also expecting - she's only 9 weeks or so. I'm happy for them, but at the same time, I struggle a little bit with it.
They live really close to my parents (abroad), whereas I live in the UK - and my parents are not great at coming to visit us, so I assume it will fall on us to go to see them most of the time.

On top of that, my parents have been making some comments about how I have to make an effort to ensure that the children will have a great relationship and will see each other often, but they also made comments about how my brother doesn't care that I'm having a kid, so not to expect that he'll come and visit after I've given birth.

I think it's fairly normal to feel a bit annoyed that someone else in the close family gets pregnant at a similar time - because it does shift the focus somewhat. It is probably a bit of selfishness, but it doesn't make it any less natural to feel a bit annoyed, at least for a while, about it.

My sister found out she was pregnant (totally unplanned) shortly after me and is approx a month behind me. She and her boyfriend were going to move out of their respective homes and rent their own place but my parents have asked her to stay and for him to move in so they can save up to buy.

I'm not going to lie, I've really struggled with the fact my parents will be with her baby 24/7 - I think that's normal. It took me a while to come to terms with my feelings on the issue - and I did talk to my parents about it but they just reassure me it won't affect things but it obviously will. My sister for her part was really upset in the beginning and almost too worried that she was stealing my thunder!

All I can focus on is my little growing family. My husband and I have worked hard for our life and we are truly blessed and my sister had had her life turned completely inside out by this so I know she needs support. We've planned for this baby for a while, and are fortunate enough to have saved money to be able to buy a family home and buy lovely things for our baby, whereas I know she worries about how she is going to make it all work.

It's complicated but it's happening and every baby is a blessing 😊

My only other issue is my mum is now so concerned with buying the same for each of us and treating each baby equally that I think she forgets they are going to be different babies! It also bugs me when people talk about her being early and me being late and so her baby will be the first grandchild! But then I have to almost physically shake it off and focus on my own pregnancy and journey.

Basically I'm saying I think the way you are feeling is completely normal. It's important to acknowledge your feelings and address them, but also to think of all the positives - pregnancy buddy, two gorgeous babies in the family, cousins close in age who will (hopefully) be close growing up. Christmases will be amazing! My main advice though would be to focus on YOU, hormones make it tough but I'm in such a better place compared to where I was 2-3 months ago!

Thanks everyone there’s a bit more to it really but it’s so long winded and she’s to explain. I do feel much better spent a lot of yesterday crying which has actually helped feel like I’ve got rid of it all now xx

How's everyone doing? I've just ordered nursery furniture, car seat and crib! Eeek i'm getting so excited now 3rd trimester is approaching.

Just entered 3rd trimester. A bit weepy this evening, haven't slept well for about a week so exhausted, anxiety getting worse and unrelenting back pain for the past month (I've tried everything!)... all just got on top of me tonight.

How are you doing?

The third trimester has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. Feel like I’m crying a lot! I’m becoming a bit panicked about having everything ready even want my hospital bag sorted soon because of my pelvis I’m worried I won’t be able to get out in a few weeks time to get everything I need. I’ve now been signed off work sick too because of the spd :( xx

Hi ladies sorry I haven’t been on for a while and thank you all so much for your lovely messages after I was struggling a lot a couple of weeks ago. They really helped. I did talk to my GP who was lovely and very supportive and offered to sign me off work if needed. However I have felt a lot better recently and more able to cope with everything.

Although we did have a horrible day last week where we went for consultant and midwife appts and they did my fundal height measurement which was so small it was off the growth chart. Everyone seemed very concerned, luckily they managed to fit me in for a growth scan later that day and I spent the time in between basically just crying because I was so frightened she wasn’t growing. Anyhow we get to the scan and she looks fine, in fact measuring on the 90th percentile?! Huge relief but now I have to do the GTT because she is so big but I don’t mind that I’m just glad she’s growing. Nobody could say why my fundal height was so small! I know they’re a bit inaccurate but seems a bit extreme.

Sorry to those of you struggling with tiredness, back pain etc. My sciatica is getting quite bad now and I’m having to spend half the night sleeping in a sitting position as can’t manage to stay comfy on my sides for a whole night, makes my legs hurt too much! Hope everyone manages to get some sleep.

Aww sorry to hear you guys are having a tough time. Really doesn't help with the emotions if you're not sleeping well either.

@Harry do you think that'll be you off work until the baby now?

@SuperVeggie glad to hear you're feeling better and that baby is growing so well.
I'm actually feeling really good, found up to about week 17/18 really tough and wondered how i was ever going to get through this pregnancy but since then i've been feeling pretty much like my normal pre pregnancy self, apart from starting to get a bit uncomfy trying to get things done with bump in the way. I'm just hoping i got all the crap out the way at the start and 3rd trimester isn't going to be a bitch Last night is the 1st purchases we've made and i'm finding the getting organised stage really exciting now.

That's great to hear @Merrz. I had an easy time in comparison to most of the others in this thread up until recently so I guess it's just my turn to struggle a bit. Really hope the 3rd trimester continues the trend for you and you don't find it difficult again.

Just had a catch up with my boss as we haven't spoken in a while. He's been really pleased with my progress this year and especially recently with some good work I've done on a couple of really tough projects. I told him about my concerns of not reaching targets for the year as I can't travel to most of our customers now and that I'm running low on work I can do remotely but he said I'm comfortably above target right now so even if it drops for the next 2 months he's confident that I'll still be over by year end. This is good news for me as I was starting to panic a little over the reduced income for next year and if I'd get my bonus, now I feel a bit better about it. He also didn't realise how low the maternity pay is so he said he wants to speak to HR to see if there's something he can do to improve it, I doubt it as it's the wider company policy to provide the legal minimum but meant a lot that he at least wants to try.

@cryptonaut amazing news! Send your boss over to my place of work please such good management! Even if he can’t get you that increase from HR it’s the thought that counts - at least he has your back. That’s so rare to find.

Sorry to hear about the tough time. I’ve got a few aches but am otherwise good! The only thing that is bothering me is that I can’t seem to sleep all the way through the night and keep on waking up to find I’ve rolled onto my back.

I find sleeping on my sides really awkward and miss sleeping on my back! I have a pregnancy pillow but I find it too hot.

Also, I read on Tommy’s website that there is limited evidence that sleeping on your right hand side is harmful so I’ve been trying that!

Oh wow @Crypton sounds like you have a lovely boss, what a nice boost for you.

@Pelly8 my midwife said blood flow is marginally better lying on your left compared to your right but lying on your right doesn't actually cause any harm. She also said not to worry if you wake up on your back.

I think the recommendation is to fall asleep lying on your left side as you tend to spend more time in the position you fall asleep in.
Turning during the night is not a problem, and waking up in a different position should also not be a problem.
I must admit that I try to fall asleep on my left side, but I don't always do it - sometimes I am on my back or right side, and it is more comfortable to me.

I heard from my brother and his gf the other day, and it wasn't great news. I feel very sorry for them, and I keep thinking it must be really difficult for them as both her sister and I are expecting.

@merrz yep that’s me off until baby now. I was finishing at just over 32 weeks anyway because I’ve got 5 weeks holidays to take before starting Mat leave so my sicknote is only for 3 weeks. It’s hard because I don’t feel unwell just pain and I’m never off work sick I just go in and plod on but have to think about the little one now and not just myself.
@cryptonaut sounds like you’ve got a lovely boss. Makes a big difference doesn’t it? My boss is fab too I called to let her know about the sicknote and she’d already covered my shifts for the next 3 weeks saying she knew when she saw me on Friday I’d be going off soon so just covered them just in case.

Some nights I love my pregnancy pillow other nights it makes me too hot and uncomfy so I throw it on the floor. I naturally sleep on left side but I’m struggling not sleeping on my front :( can still manage it for an hour or so If I wedge the pillow in but otherwise I flip from left to right side.

Just had my Anti-D injection.
I was so worried about it - I really don't like injections, but it actually didn't even hurt!
The midwife was brilliant - apparently Anti-D requires thicker needles, and if it is injected really slowly, you don't notice at all.

Tomorrow, I have a nurse appointment for the flu jab and whooping cough injection, and I am far less worried now.

@RiskIt4Biscuit I also hate needles, and the whooping cough and flu were so non-painful I didn't realise the nurse was done. It was over in less than 20 seconds!

Good luck x

I've just discovered uniqlo maternity leggings and I'm converted.
No seams, soft comfy, stretchy and not overly dear.
If your struggling with waistbands of standard maternity leggings like I was you must check them out!!

So my birthing ball arrived today, I wasn’t sure at first but I think I love it! It relieves the pain from the spd a bit and is really quite comfy 👏🏻👏🏻

Hi everyone. Hope you're doing okay! I'm 29weeks today and getting knackered but other than that okay. Sorry to hear some are struggling, I'm sure my time will come. Is anyone else's partner complaining about snoring in the night? My husband says I sound like a warthog!

@DoraNora, you were right! The flu and whooping cough injections didn't hurt at all, and I also didn't realise that the nurse was done, until she walked over to her desk to type up everything.
I did have a sore arm after the two injections (they were given in the same arm, I had anti-D in the other) for a few days and have a cold (which may be unrelated to the injections), but that really is a tiny complaint :)

@HolDaws, my DH is saying I am snoring too. Finally, I am getting my revenge - both my DH and dog snore.

We are going on a maternity ward tour on Sunday. I'm quite curious about it, so am looking forward to it, but it's also making me realise that we are getting closer to the end of the pregnancy (I'm 29+6 today).

I am looking at getting some clothes for my hospital bag so I can start packing it in a few weeks.
My impression is that we have to bring our own clothes for the labour, and then pyjamas or similarly comfortable clothes for after.
I've been looking online, and I don't really know what would be good/sensible.
What would you recommend?

@HolDaws DH says I snore too. He also says that sometimes if I've rolled onto my back it sounds like I'm struggling to breath so he nudges me to get me to move back to my side, he much prefers the snoring over this lol

@RiskIt4Biscuit I'm looking forward to a tour too, but at my local we're not allowed to book until we've reached 30 weeks, got another week to go!

Haven't really thought too much about the hospital bag yet but I imagine that for labour I would want something fairly loose and comfortable that I don't mind throwing after (assuming it's gonna be completely ruined!) and then comfy pyjamas and fluffy dressing gown for after. I don't know how soon milk comes in after labour but maybe a crop top or comfortable nursing bra as well, just in case my breasts are sore being unsupported. I've heard that maternity/sanitary pads are an absolute must and to take plenty.

Also just found this link, it looks fairly comprehensive and sensible www.babycentre.co.uk/what-to-pack-in-your-hospital-bag

@cryptonaut Thanks! I'll probably have to buy everything for the hospital bag as I currently don't have any clothes that I am happy to ruin or throw out. But it feels so pointless and expensive to buy stuff to only wear once and then bin.

I don't deal well with being too hot (but it's hard to know how I'll feel during/after labour), and I've been told that maternity wards are hot, so I'm struggling a little bit with finding anything I think I'll find comfortable.

@RiskIt4Biscuit I feel the same, bought all my maternity clothes used as I didn't want to spend loads on clothes I'd only wear for a short amount of time. Maybe try Primark for cheap vest tops or something. Or maybe charity shops, car boot sales (if there's any still on)?

Hello all. I hope you are well.

I’m just coming on here to have a little vent about how annoying I’m finding the comments about how big I’m getting. Some people are so surprised and I’m like “yes, this is generally what happens as you advance through pregnancy”

Most of the time i brush it off and move on but this one older woman at work can’t seem to get over how big my breasts are and has commented on it quite a few times. the other day she said, in front of another colleague, how I was “jiggling” and yesterday she said my breasts were big and they were only going to get bigger. I’m finding the whole thing quite demeaning and demoralising. I think she means it in a friendly way, which is why I haven’t said anything but I feel like I’m getting close to tipping point. Gaaaah. Anyway, next time she says something I’m going to ask her not to mention it again!
Has anyone else experienced this? I’m starting to feel like a piece of meat!!!

I tend to reply with yes that’s genetally what happens when your growing a human inside you! It’s very irritating though I get it. I’ve found people really irritating my whole pregnancy really.
I feel like since announcing people feel like they’re entitled to ask way too personal things and get involved in hot life far too much. It starts with openly discussing your sex life (were you using protection or trying) then moves on to your body, size of your boobs and how your changing. Then people ask about the birth (I don’t want to discuss my vagina thank you) it never ends 😂

I’m finding it really rude that people ask have you chosen any names, well yes but I won’t be telling anyone because everyone has an opinion and the only opinion I want is mine and my partners. If people didn’t have an opinion I’d tell them. Once someone has said oh no that’s awful I hate that name how could you name your baby it🤷🏼‍♀️