Due January 2019 (3rd thread)

[Buttercup53]

Starting a new thread for the January 2019 crew! Newcomers welcome :)

@merrz I highly recommend the Skoda fabia estate! Love mine. Great size without being enormous like the Octavia.

I haven’t done much exercise at all I’ve done the odd walk. I have 2 dogs who pull and find if I walk them alone I suffer for a few days with back pain so haven’t been out anywhere near as much as I was pre pregnancy.

we also need a new car/additional car, my partner has a small works van which his boss lets us use for non work things too but it only has front seats so when I go back to work he’ll be dropping baby off at childcare so need another car for that purpose really. I wanted something bigger a quashqai or kuga really but in reality we can’t afford it so will just get something similar to what we have now (Ford Fiesta) and make do. I put my two dogs in the boot so purposely got a pram that folds down small and fits in the foot well behind the drivers seat. No isofix point in my current car so when I got car seat they told me I’d need a non slip mat as my seats are leather hadn’t ever heard of this before but suppose it makes sense car seat could slide easily on leather they’re not expensive anyway about £10-£15 so won’t break the bank.
I literally have no idea about all this sort of stuff it’s quite daunting.

This week I find I’m having a bit of a panic, I’m not sure what about but feel extra emotional (I cried at a dr winning an awakes on greys anatomy yesterday lol) and a bit overwhelmed like oh shit it’s really happening kinda thing. Anyone else pregnant with “unplanned” babies and have these moments of utter panic? This baby is already very well loved and I’m excited but fear likes to creep in every now and then xx

Had a pregnancy consultant appointment this morning - a million times nicer and more helpful than the last one who laughed at me when I told them about my mental health issues, tried to discharge me before actually reading my scan notes, and couldn’t find the heart beat instantly so just didn’t bother. She was so understanding and even though baby is looking fine, has kept me under casual consultant care due to the breast stuff to give me piece of mind. Luckily baby isn’t measuring large any more (he’s actually spot on according to my bump measurement) so I feel loads better about that, and I don’t have gestational diabetes. Feels so nice to get good news after a month of shit.

@harrypotter I know exactly what you mean. This baby was ‘planned’ only in the sense that we were planning to get pregnant within the next year, but he came along way earlier than I was mentally ready for (If the due date is correct, it was literally the first time we TTC without contraception). I have weeks where I feel overwhelmed, panicky and I cry at everything (even things that don’t have any emotional value like having to stack the dishwasher or do washing). If you feel really overwhelmed it’s worth talking to your midwife, but if it’s just occasional it is really normal I think, hormones are crazily powerful!

@Harrypotterfan1604 i had to hold back tears walking out of the house this morning. I just feel so overwhelmed.

Have a lot going on. Dp is working full time including 1 evening a week. Has therapy 1 evening a week and is about to start a hobby of sorts 3 evenings a week. It really feels like the wrong time. Even when he is home i feel like he is always txting work friends. His hobby is with work friends. Its really getting me down.

Our baby is planned and desperately wanted but due to our history pregnancy is scary. I am now approaching the time my first baby would have died in utero. Then discovering it then the birth and funeral etc. Obviously i am over the moon things are going so well but in the back of my mind the dates are niggling. We were also moving house last time and as it happens are about to move house this time. There is a lot of stress.

On top of that dp just seems to think money grows on trees and the amount of shit we are getting ourselves into moneywise for the new house is scary. Realistically i know we can afford it comfortably cutting back on things like takeaways,eating out etc but dp is more of a 'when we cant afford it anymore we wont do it' but i suspect that he will just find ways to afford it. Arrghhh haha i needed that rant.

@Rarfy I know how you feel re partners! Even when my partner is around it feels like he's not actually with me, always so wrapped up in texting his colleagues. He works 7 days a week and has hobbies on 2 week nights. I feel quite alone in this pregnancy actually. We're both very excited but feel like I'm doing everything on my own at the moment!

Regarding the FitMama stuff, everything in the book is stuff you can do at home. The exercises help to prepare your body for birth, help baby into the optimum position for birth, help with pelvic and back pain and provides a few other pointers for pregnancy/birth. I'm lucky that she's actually in my area (North Hampshire) and runs classes once a week. She's been doing it for over 15 years and seriously knows her stuff. She also has a blog online.

@Rarfy that sounds really hard. I tend to let DH get on with his own thing (I guess that will change very soon haha) as his way to unwind is gaming, which means when he does all his attention is elsewhere. Luckily though, if I tell him I want to spend some quality time with him then he will.
He also doesn't think about the future implications of his spending, his attitude is usually that we can afford it now so why not. For example, last year we remortgaged and in the process he wanted to almost double our repayments to reduce to the repayment term, and yes we could afford it at the time but as we had discussed having kids very soon it was a stupid idea due to the increased living cost combined with the reduced income that would come with maternity leave. He really hadn't considered what an impact it would have and I didn't want to be in a position where we would put our home at risk. I managed to convince him to keep the payments the same and we would revisit it once we had a baby and knew how much we could afford then.

Sorry for double post

@Buttercup53 so glad you had a better experience this morning and that you had some good news. Fingers crossed that it will continue that way for the rest of your pregnancy

@Kate123cl it's tough isn't it. Dp has a lot going on himself so i am torn between thinking this new hobby will be good and he says he wont do all 3 nights but in the beginning i guess he will have to. Its just 3 more nights im on my own and because he wont be in till late we wont eat until late and by the time we have eat and washed up it will be bed time because im lucky if i can keep my eyes open past 9.00pm and he's actually worse than me.

The money thing really annoys me. Hr just had a day out with work at the wkend (the people he works with every day,now some nights and when he's not there he's txting them) which would have set him back £100. He almost cried when i started sticking things for our new house in the shopping trolley at the wkend but i thought you're not going out wasting on drink then us scrimping on this new home something we never ever thought would be possible.

Ahh @cryptonaut just wrote a lengthy reply and lost it. I should take a leaf out of your book and maybe just ask for some time.

I can relate to the DH thing. DH is flat out on the farm at the moment, getting home at midnight and out at 6am again. I’m trying to get this house organised and getting so frustrated with how little I can physically do. He just rang me to tell me off for trying to move an armchair into the bedroom and to wait until he could help but I feel like I’ve been sat around waiting for months! I can’t take the mess of the spare room any longer but then I feel bad moaning that he’s not here to help because it’s not exactly his fault.

Gosh that sounds really tough @gingereum. Is there any sign of his workload easing up soon?

I think he is right though - steer clear of lugging the arm chair around.

Rarfy hopefully he should only have a few more weeks of this, and rain is forecast for Saturday so he might be around then too fingers crossed! I have left the armchair alone now and trying to be more patient

Good @GinGeum better to be safe. Shall we pray for a little rain?

We have just got our completion date on the new house Thursday 18th so two weeks left eek! I too will have to refrain from the urge to move things i shouldnt be and keep off ladders.

Got my first antenatal class tonight.

@GinGeum I know what you mean about wanting to get things done. It takes a long time for DH to do anything he says he's going to do (and he doesn't even have the excuse of working 18 hours a day!), so I get impatient with him. It's harder now as I also feel like there are now things I can't do without his help. I've done some organising and heavy lifting a while ago when I still could but now it's almost impossible. We are due to have the carpets replaced soon (fingers crossed next month) but the contract for the fitters only covers moving a certain amount of furniture up to a specific size, so not sure how we're going to cope since I won't be able to help much, may have to to recruit some friends!

Definitely draft in help for all the furniture moving ladies, it's so tempting just to get on and do it yourself though isn't it? I deep cleaned our upstairs at the weekend like proper washed all the windows, took the bathroom light fitting to pieces to clean the cover etc lol and it took me a couple of days to recover in one way its made me a bit more cautious but in another its put me into a total panic of thinking how much i have to do and needing to get things done now before i become even less able.
GinGeum totally sympathise with you on the struggles of a farmers wife.

GTT today.

Was told if it was positive they’d contact me this afternoon and nothing yet so I’m quietly hopeful!

Test wasn’t as awful as I’d anticipated.

@sexnotgender glad your test went okay & hope the results aren’t long.

@Gin definitely leave the heavier stuff & I hope it rains for you Saturday.

The freaking out about not getting things done in time is definitely a normal pregnancy thing which is really frustrating. But it does get done & if you don’t pick up everything there are 24 hour supermarkets & amazon prime.

I keep panic’ing at there only being 15 or so weeks until the baby is here. But I’m just breaking it down bit by bit & aiming for a bit each week.
& trying to listen to my body as last pregnancy I was standing on chairs painting walls to the ceiling at 37 weeks pregnant which seriously do not do.

This is what our spare room currently looks like. Note the abandoned armchair on its side on the floor

I can’t take it anymore!

Haha! Ladies I have 16 weeks to go & the 'room' top right is our baby's nursery! 🤣🤣🤣
Panicking about the building works is so upsetting it's got to the point I have to just stop worrying about it all! (We are living amongst it all!)

Everyone just keeps saying 'as long as baby is warm, dry & fed all will be fine' 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Wow @Busyfool I really hope it goes smoothly for you.
& yep they’re right, babies don’t care what their surroundings are as long as they’re warm, fed & changed & with parents.

Awww @GinGeum it will all come together, hopefully sooner for your sanity but it will.

About to order the drawers finally then can move onto clothes & I picked up an ergo newborn insert incase it’s really cold.

Hopefully tomorrow is calmer day for everyone.

Wow! That really puts things into perspective. Just been talking with DH about a bunch of things that have been on my mind which includes the decorating and things we want to do before baby arrives. We have made a general plan of what we're going to do and preparations for things that we need other people to do and feel much better about it. I emphasised that we need to get things done ASAP as I'm starting to struggle with some basic things (like reaching my feet to wash them in the shower lol). We don't have anything planned for this weekend so we're going to crack on with as much stuff as we (mostly me) can physically manage in a weekend.

Don’t tell me that Busy - our building work hasn’t even started yet

DH has just got home and moved the sodding armchair into the bedroom, hurray! My back is sore now but at least losing the will to wait and attempting to do it myself spurred him into helping sooner rather than later I suppose!

Morning ladies, sorry I've been absent! Microarray results from the amniocentesis came back yesterday, and they're also completely normal! Babys diagnosis is now just severe early onset growth restriction,which obviously isn't good, but a million miles better than what we thought! How is everyone else feeling? I'm feeling totally non pregnant now for the most part if you don't count the tiredness and extremely sore nipples.

busy don't worry too much, baby won't be in the nursery from day 1 anyway, they come in with you to begin with. Don't stress too much I'm sure it'll get done in time :)

That’s great news irony

Feeling shattered but delighted not to have gestational diabetes, hospital never phoned yesterday which she told me meant everything is fine.
I need about a weeks sleep.

Booked a weekend away with DH in November to recharge my batteries.