Due January 2019 (3rd thread)

[Buttercup53]

Starting a new thread for the January 2019 crew! Newcomers welcome :)

I don't know if it'll help but try this itunes.apple.com/gb/album/chillmama-ep/1292661821 ... lie in a comfortable position on your left side, close your eyes and play the track.

I find listening to meditation music when trying to get to sleep extremely helpful, but not the nature sounds ones as the noises are distracting and I can't relax. I like this playlist on Spotify open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1DWZqd5JICZI0u?si=hxOomcIYRG-Mus5dhR5_Yg

Also, because I sometimes need to listen to music to get to sleep and DH can't sleep with music he got me some SleepPhones for my last birthday, they're extremely comfortable and you can lie on your side while wearing them www.sleepphones.co.uk

Thank you, I will give that a go x

I think I'm starting to understand the insomnia now! Last night I was just lying in bed for hours from about 2am thinking about car seats and baby's that are born with the umbilical cord around their neck 🙄 what is going on!

@jennac it’s awful isn’t it :( the more awake you become the more things that start rolling around your mind. It doesn’t help that I’m so uncomfortable Lying on my side even with the pregnancy pillow which often ends up on the floor because it makes me too hot x

@Ironytheoppositeofwrinkly will be thinking of you for Monday and @Curlypop thanks for the bra rec... my boobs are huge and I don't know how to cope with them. Look like Dolly Parton! Hope everyone is okay this weekend x

Are any of you guys doing NCT? It's £200 for the course in our area which seems quite a lot with everything else at the moment but think it might be worth it? X

One of my friends with the NCT course and said it wasn’t very good. So I won’t be doing it. I’m debating not even doing the nhs classes to be honest, my midwife has put me off a little bit 😳

I'm booked on to start nhs antenatal classes this week. Thought we would give them a try. It a only one this month then another 3 later in the year.

Getting anxious about my scan on Tuesday although have been getting what I think are movements for a couple of weeks.

Thinking of you tomorrow @Ironytheoppositeofwrinkly

I haven't really thought about the NCT classes but am going to go to the NHS ones, my friend said you don't actually learn much, the books you get are better but They're good for meeting and speaking to expectant mums especially if it's your 1st

I’m not planning on doing any antenatal classes. Lots of people like it for the social side of things but apart from not being very sociable (especially not to pay £200 for a new set of friends!!) I often find a load of people stuffed together into a group that only have same age babies as something in common, so all you ever have to talk about is the babies which can get pretty tiresome I am fairly unsociable though so I assume they work better for those who are!

We've booked onto NCT. I also heard that they're not very good, but DH is a little older so he has quite a few friends with kids under 2, all of whom said that they found NCT really useful. We decided that since we managed to save so much money on the paraphernalia and clothes that we can afford to go otherwise I would have pushed to not bother.

I never did antenatal classes as was on bedrest with my first & just didn’t see the point with second & now third, especially as I have home births.

NCT really depends on who is in your group I’ve found with friends but if you search on Facebook for your local NCT bumps & babies group they are usually weekly or regular meet ups & are free, plus a very good way to meet/get advice from local people.

If you’re attempting breastfeeding local group again is a life saver, you can really find out things you won’t at antenatal classes & NCT.

The insomnia is really kicking my butt. I’m basically reading to make it not be as long.

Also big babies are not bad! They’re actually easier to “get out,” due to gravity & the birth passage. My second was 2lbs heavier than my first & a lot bigger & the birth was a lot easier. Especially pushing him out.
Hope that helps the fear.

Also just read in “positive birth” book that a third of babies have the cord wrapped around the neck but there are usually no issues & they still get oxygen until cord is clamped.

Sorry I’ve just been looking into delayed cord clamping so learnt about that.

We’re off on holiday tomorrow so just trying to get everything ready. Going to have to fit my pregnancy pillow in as I can’t sleep without it.

OH is feeling the baby more & more but my eldest is convinced there’s no baby in there haha.

A holiday sounds lovely where are you off to? We have 3 weeks til ours nothing fancy just a log cabin 2 hours from home but we can take our dogs and just have some nice walks and relax all week can’t wait!
I’ve been desperate to feel “real kicks” for ages and today they started to the point I was willing them to stop because they were actually hurting me a bit 🙈 literally can’t win!!

I still feel a bit like this is all a dream, like it’s not actually happening to me despite everything. I’m sure some of you out there that have had unplanned pregnancies can relate a bit maybe even planned ones too. It’s all very surreal x

Pregnancy insomnia seems to have been taken over by 3am crying I feel like a real failure at the moment for feeling rubbish just all the time. Bit worried about antenatal depression so may mention it to midwife on Tuesday.

@GinGeum I hope you’re asleep now, 3am crying doesn’t sound nice at all. It must be hard but try to remember pregnancy is hard, it’s a massive strain on the body let alone all the hormonal & chemical changes to your brain.
You’re allowed to feel as rubbish as you want, hope the midwife can help.

@Harrypotterfan1604 a log cabin sounds amazing & relaxing.
We’re off to Butlins, hoping my boys will be tired out & entertained enough for me to sit down a bit more.

& I definitely get the surreal ness, this pregnancy is very unplanned, every scan & heartbeat check I’m still shocked there’s a baby in there. Even though I feel the baby moving my brain hasn’t connected there will be a new person here in January.
But I am trying to talk to bump more as they can hear now & try to feel more connected.

Thinking of you today irony, hope all goes well

@Gin I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling like that, I can relate. It feels like everyone else who’s pregnant can just get on with their normal lives, I know a few people IRL who are pregnant while I am and they all seem to be coping with it so much better than I am. I also feel like nothing I’m doing is good enough for my baby, that I’m setting him up for failure in the womb because I’m not eating 100% healthy, or taking every single vitamin available, I still drink a strong coffee every morning, etc. So I don’t know if you feel any of those things when you say you feel like a failure but I hope it makes you feel better to at least know someone else has all those worries and concerns. Objectively I can tell you that you aren’t a failure, and if you choose to see a GP about antenatal mental health, a councillor will probably recommend as a starting point that you keep a positivity/self-esteem journal (write down at the end of the day something positive/something nice that you’ve done that’s hapened every single day) so that might be something to consider doing now.

I have a consultant appointment today when hopefully they’re going to tell me I’m healed from this infection and can stop taking antibiotics when this course is done. These past couple of weeks have been pretty crappy, I know worse things can happen, but I’m so sick of tablets and side effects. The past 2 weeks have been like a return to the first trimester, and mentally I’ve taken about a thousand steps back because I’ve become so anxious and obsessive. Trying to look at today as a fresh start, re-engage with therapy practices and concentrate on the positives.

@GinGeum I’m sorry your feeling so rubbish. Pregnancy is really hard and I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to be feeling all fab and glowing when in reality growing a tiny human is exhausting and we are quite right to feel a bit crap every now and then!
Your not a failure, there’s no manual on how to do this we are figuring it out as we go along. By all means talk to your midwife if your worried that’s what she’s there for xx

Thanks all. I’ve decided to self refer to the well-being service in my area (everything has to be done via self referall now) because I started having feelings this morning that maybe I shouldn’t be pregnant/feeling sorry that my child is ending up with me as his mother. I’ve a history of depression so I think I need to nip this in the bud.

Fuck I hope today goes as well as it can. Will be thinking of you.

Quick update: might not even be an infection now. Consultant is concerned that the way the redness and swelling is presenting could mean it’s something more serious, including cancer. I have to have a biopsy next week to find out unless all the symptoms completely clear up in a week. I feel sick and overwhelmed. I just want to enjoy my pregnancy and be excited about meeting my son, instead I’m preoccupied with this, which plays right into my worst OCD obsessions and phobias. Wish I could sleep for the next week until the appointment because I honestly don’t know how I’m going to stay calm and sane, and I feel so guilty for feeling stressed because of the impact it could be having on my baby. Feel like I’m really putting him through the ringer before he’s even born.

Oh Buttercup that sounds so hard, hope this week doesn’t go too slowly for you.

Holy crap Buttercup sorry to read that, what a worry for you. Hope this next week passes quickly and the results are good.

Irony also thinking of you today, everything crossed for you

Gin sorry you are feeling down, think self referal is a good idea, like you say best to try and nip it in the bud now. Pregnancy is hard, far harder than i expected it to be tbh. I think people IRL like to make it seem all very rosey and great but it would probably be surprising the amount of people who don't cope as well as they like you to think.

@Buttercup53 sorry to read your update sending positive thoughts can't imagine how you are feeling.

@GinGeum glad you are seeking support. I take a low dose of sertraline due to anxiety which started prior to pregnancy but feel it important to continue this to help me to feel settles.

LADIES!!!
Had my Fetal Medicine scan today, and they've found the elusive left kidney. It looks to be perfectly healthy too! Booked in for amniocentesis to check baby's growth restriction isn't due to a genetic or chromosomal abnormality as she has quite a few markers for Edwards syndrome, but if that comes back clear, we have a healthy baby :)

Oh buttercup I'm sorry. Hoping it's good news for you, and maybe it's just a very nasty infection. Fingers crossed!