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Original poster

Pregnant!!! FWB but BD don't want to be involved

135 replies

Brierley86 · 11/07/2018 16:36

Hello,
I am so confused and really don't know what to do! Got pregnant from FWB and he don't want to be involved! After I find out and told him we still had sex! He tried forcing me to terminate but I decided to keep it! Asked him about his medical history and he answered there is neurofibromatosis and his sister has it. I asked him to talk to me about and how to find out while pregnant if baby will have it? He replied to do my own search and he don't want it and will not be involved then said f**k off and blocked me! I google it but still not clear to me of how to find and decided to find his family and ask! Found for of them on Facebook and messaged them of what he told me and me just looking for some answers and nothing else! Next day he text me that he going to police to report me of me harassing him via friends and family!!! I think I have the right to ask about this unpleasant condition! He called me crazy bitch wow that's fine but still very confused! Any advice, please!?

OP posts:
MyOtherProfile · 13/07/2018 10:54

OP I think tour main question is how can you get him to be dad. Sadly you can't. You can get him to take financial responsibility through CSA but it seems you don't want to do thst and will support yourself. You shouldnt have told his family becayse yoy alreadg had the name of the condition snd how it affects his sister doesn't really indicate how it could affect your baby any more than talking to a random person with the same condition on a Facebook group. I imagine that rwally you contacted his family in the hope they would help get him to be dad. That's not going to happen. So I think you now need to either move on from him and have the baby on your own or else pursue him for maintenance but that's all you will get. It's a very tricky situation.

MaverickSnoopy · 13/07/2018 11:05

I think you are using this condition as a reason to contact him/his family. Ultimately because there are many ways to find out about medical conditions without needing to involve him/his family.

I'm not saying that makes you a bad person and I do mean it with kindness. I feel sorry for you. You obviously can't let go and that's hard. You need to step back from him and his family and focus on you, your children and your new baby.

Original poster
Brierley86 · 13/07/2018 11:06

I don't need money from him! Just can't believe there is that kind of people on the earth! How they sleep, easy etc ! Now I have deal with all on my own and just wait and see IF they will ask in the future about baby! IF not means better off these people around us! Thanks to all!

OP posts:
Original poster
Brierley86 · 13/07/2018 11:06

Eat sorry

OP posts:
BlueBug45 · 13/07/2018 11:49

OP seriously have you never met anyone in your life who was brought up by a single parent, normally mother, whose other parent, normally father, fucked off before they were born or soon afterwards? According to your username you are in your 30s and this has been going on for decades let alone centuries.

Oh and to his family you are just a "mad" women accusing him off stuff and hassling a member of their family with a disability. They will believe him over you because you are a stranger who has no relationship with them.

fruitbrewhaha · 13/07/2018 11:53

It's probably a bit of a shock for them all OP. Perhaps in time there will be some kind of relationship between your child and the father's and his family. I think you will need to give them time.

The father sounds pretty awful. Perhaps his family are used to him bringing drama into there lives and getting facebook messages from you would have been a bit bloody dramatic. They may well be thinking, bloody hell, here we go again. This same scenario may have happened before and the mother didn't go through with it. Perhaps they will come around and give you some support.

Atlantea · 13/07/2018 11:59

are you sure having another child so close to your last one is a good idea for your health? (one of your threads said you had a new born DD in October last year)

DairyMilkisEvil · 13/07/2018 12:05

You are lying to us about your so called medical condition that says you could die from having an early termination, like a bad period, but saying you could easily carry a baby to term. There is no such medical condition. You are lying to us and I bet you're lying to the man and his family. No wonder they don't want anything to do with you. You had sex with a man who made it clear he doesn't want children. You're lying to him and harassing his family with your lies. You seriously need to grow up and stop lying.

lynmilne65 · 13/07/2018 12:06

My granddaughter has it

Atlantea · 13/07/2018 12:17

what does your granddaughter have @lynmilne65

Original poster
Brierley86 · 13/07/2018 12:24

Wtf? Why would I lie? Why would I fuck my life in this way if he don't want to be part of if I can terminate? Also I don't care what his family thinks and says! No woman should be treated like this!!!

OP posts:
FissionChips · 13/07/2018 12:34

Lots of people lie about such things. Perhaps you know it will infact negatively on your existing children to have this baby but you still want to keep it so you’ve made this little lie in order to justify it.

No one here would judge you for aborting or keeping though.

FissionChips · 13/07/2018 12:36

Impact ^

ReevaDiva · 13/07/2018 12:36

No woman should be treated like what? You had sex with someone you didn't know well, without contraception. Now you have to raise a child for the next 20-odd years. He gets to walk away. You must have known this was possible! Your weeping and wailing on here is a waste of your time and energy.

Atlantea · 13/07/2018 12:39

I am not able to have abortion because of my past medical history!

The medications I take just doesn't work with contraception so no point of taking !

So, you didnt make him wear a condom, so you should really get yourself STD checked as well

DairyMilkisEvil · 13/07/2018 12:59

Please tell us the name of the medical condition you have that prevents an early termination because that would threaten your life, but that a pregnancy and child birth is perfectly safe with?

You have been asked many many times in this thread and have refused to answer. Therefore we all think it's a lie.

  1. You got pregnant by having casual unprotected sex
  2. you told him and he said he didn't want to be a father
  3. you told him you were keeping it. He said he didn't want it so you lied to him and told him you have a medical condition that prevents an early termination but allows a full term pregnancy and childbirth
  4. he knew you were lying and he told you he has a family member with a genetic condition so that you would be in a position to consider you options, but he also said he didn't want a child anyway
  5. instead of asking medical professionals about this condition you decided to harass him about the pregnancy
  6. when he wouldn't engage with this you then harassed his family and they understandably reacted by blocking you
  7. you come on an anonymous internet site , looking for attention and for people to help you, but you have repeatedly lied and refused to answer any questions
  8. you write every sentence with an exclamation mark! Or two!!
  9. you are very immature
Atlantea · 13/07/2018 13:17

You have been asked many many times in this thread and have refused to answer. Therefore we all think it's a lie.

this - unless you can say what this mysterious condition that makes termination (and miscarriage) more of a risk to your life than a full term pregnancy and delivery, then you won't be believed and you won't get the help/support/advise you want

socraties1234 · 13/07/2018 13:47

Maybe this post will get deleted however I do believe that OP is attention seeking and getting aggravated with other posters trying to help her deal with her dilemma.
if she is unhappy with pp trying to help perhaps she needs to seek advice from other avenues rather than going on a forum with strangers and becoming aggressive with all her exclamation marks!!!

JustVent · 13/07/2018 13:52

Presumably you have periods? Do they kill you each month as well?

Seriously, if you have a genuine medical condition that means you cannot use contraception because of the medication and cannot have an abortion because you might die but are perfectly capable of having a baby then please name this medical condition.

Because otherwise you look very much like a liar.
I’m guessing this is where the issues lie with your FWB.

ellaV · 13/07/2018 14:12

@socraties1234 I've always preferred an aggressive explanation mark to a shouty capital though!!

@DairyMilkisEvil I think you are literally hilarious!

Made my day this has!

Notquiteagandt · 13/07/2018 14:14

Did he know you where not on birth control?

Original poster
Brierley86 · 13/07/2018 14:17

I am not discussing my health issues! Asked here about NF condition and what do and explained the situation! Thanks for referring me to Neuro Foundation.

OP posts:
Original poster
Brierley86 · 13/07/2018 14:20

And YES he knew that still was having sex with me . While pregnant as well. He made decision after he don't want to be involved and told me about this condition without and explanation! So when he already have one child he can explain at least! Thanks to all

OP posts:
QueenAravisOfArchenland · 13/07/2018 14:26

So let's recap. You're in your thirties and already have at least one child. You have a blood condition that means you can't possibly have an abortion but presents no barrier to full term pregnancy and birth. You're also on medication which prevents you using any kind of contraception.

You therefore decided to have completely unprotected casual sex with someone you explicitly had no relationship with. You are now shocked, SHOCKED that you are pregnant and he doesn't want to know. Even though you don't want the baby, you have decided not to pursue having a termination and are stalking every family member you can track down on social media demanding that they tell you their private medical details.

Is that a fair summary?

Original poster
Brierley86 · 13/07/2018 14:30

Listen I am not stalking anyone! I don't this as this is harassment when you ask someone to make decision and they do then telling you about this condition and blocks you! I have legal rights to ask his family about when having this child! Thanks to all bye now

OP posts:
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