Pregnant!!! FWB but BD don't want to be involved

[Brierley86]

Hello,
I am so confused and really don't know what to do! Got pregnant from FWB and he don't want to be involved! After I find out and told him we still had sex! He tried forcing me to terminate but I decided to keep it! Asked him about his medical history and he answered there is neurofibromatosis and his sister has it. I asked him to talk to me about and how to find out while pregnant if baby will have it? He replied to do my own search and he don't want it and will not be involved then said f**k off and blocked me! I google it but still not clear to me of how to find and decided to find his family and ask! Found for of them on Facebook and messaged them of what he told me and me just looking for some answers and nothing else! Next day he text me that he going to police to report me of me harassing him via friends and family!!! I think I have the right to ask about this unpleasant condition! He called me crazy bitch wow that's fine but still very confused! Any advice, please!?

I don't want to damage my body or risk my life for for dickhead! I am very independent and not a problem of raising on my own! Just stressed and depressed of the situation and his behavior ! I don't think this is normal ! No one can force me if that's best for me or even if I decide to keep! He need to face the consequences like I do!?

No I wasn't aware of this situation! When I asked to terminate then find out!

He has no consequence to face really. He can just walk away, probably get away with never paying child support.
That’s why it’s important for women to take charge of contraception even if the man is wearing condoms.

The medications I take just doesn't work with contraception so no point of taking !

Still don’t know why you’re lying about not being able to have an abortion. No one here will judge you for wanting the baby,

You can’t even have a copper coil (no hormones) or use condoms?!

Wow just wow! I am not lying that's what the situations is for now! I asked for advice on what to do about him as I want my baby to have father! Also only god can judge me for my decisions!!! Why man will do this to child? He knew it that could happen so his fault too!

No can't have cool as I had few ops down there!!!

Coil sorry

You ant force him to be a father. That’s just the way it is, you have to learn to deal with it.

Do you have a support worker or social worker you can chat with?

I think there are far too many inconsistencies in this story.
I think you are lying about not being able to have a termination but being able to go through with pregnancy and childbirth. Such a medical condition does not exist.
With the facebook stalking You have behaved and are continuing to behave like a teenager, no wonder his family are upset.
Now you're on here telling lies about not being able to have a termination. If you don't want the baby like to say you don't, have a termination and stop coming on here spinning stories.

You do seem to be very immature. It was a friends with benefits setup, he did not agree to this child and you should have protected yourself from pregnancy. I hate it when women say no contraception works, at the most basic level you could've made him wear a condom. You have no right to hassle him to be a father to this child, he is entitled to not want it. You are not being truthful about being unable to have an abortion. If you can't 'survive' that for any physical reason then you will certainly not survive carrying and birthing this child. Please grow up a bit if you decide to keep this child.

I don't think this is normal ! No one can force me if that's best for me or even if I decide to keep! He need to face the consequences like I do!?

Sorry but I don't believe any human should be forced to be a parent if they don't want to be. You're choosing to face the consequences of unprotected sex by not having a termination. If you want the baby then great, but you can't physically force him to want the baby too

Oh great! Maybe you know my health issues to tell I am lying. If you don't like it just don't read and comment !!! I said I am very independent with own business! I am not stalking anyone just I think his family needs to know he will have another child! If she don't want to be involved ok that's fine I will deal with! Just that's not the way a man should act! Even if is no conditions if a woman decides to keep it her choice! He is still going to father of this child!

They don't Need to know anything
You had no right to tell them
It seemed like a desperate attempt to get him and them involved
If he didn't want to be a father to this child then he probably didn't want his family to know about it either. Go it alone if you want and forget about him. Otherwise I don't blame him for saying you are harassing him

It's really got nothing to do with his family at this point, it's between you and him so it isn't right to involve them now. He's told you the condition that the family carries, it is your job to then tell the medical professionals who will then advise you appropriately about it. Harassing his family online is not the way to go about it. Why should he care about a child that he doesn't want or had planned with you?

You massively over stepped the mark messaging his family and friends. I would stop contacting anyone to do with hin or you run the risk of police involvement for harassment. He has clearly told you he does not want an active role in this childs life. The best you can expect is to be a single mum to the baby with the possibility he will pay child maintenance if you go through CMO. You need to leave him and his family alone and ask your midwife any questions you have about this condition. Unfortunately you cannot force someone to be a parent, or a grandparent etc.

I’m guessing you have had some dodgy smears and had colposcopy?
However I’m surprised anyone would have said that that would have any impact on a termination especially a non medical surgery one.
However if you want the baby then it seems like you will be doing this by yourself which is hard especially if you have others .
I don’t think it was very fair if you to email his family but I guess you must feel very rejected so I can understand why.

I'm gonna go ahead and say yes, you are lying (or wrong). There's no condition on this earth in which it's safe for you to carry a baby to term and give birth, but not safe to have an early medical or surgical abortion. If you couldn't have a copper coil because of problems with your uterus or cervix then it would be 100% verboten for you to be pregnant or have sex (a cock pokes away at your cervix too, you know).

I can't believe you already have children. You come off as about 17 in this thread.

Please can someone tell me what FWB is? I’ve been on this board for over a decade and this is one I’ve never come across!

Bit harsh ladies. Maybe she really can't have a termination and I do think that men need to take responsibility if they get someone pregnant - they can make the decision to wear a condom. He caused this too.
However I stand by what I said about contacting his family through Facebook. That sounds obsessive and a bit crazy. At the very least it's overstepping the mark massively. He has every right to be absolutely furious and not want anything to do with you based on that.

What about your existing children? You have a baby and older children too? Are their fathers involved? When did you split up with your baby's father and start this FWB relationship? How will having another baby affect the baby and older DC you already have?

FWB = friends with benefits

FWB is "friend with benefits" aka fuckbuddy.

I'm sorry but it completely defies logic for someone to be medically able to have a baby but not a termination. The mechanisms for having a termination are basically the same as for having your period or giving birth, and if this were actually true then a miscarriage might also kill the OP.

A termination is far safer than pregnancy.