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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant!!! FWB but BD don't want to be involved

135 replies

Brierley86 · 11/07/2018 16:36

Hello,
I am so confused and really don't know what to do! Got pregnant from FWB and he don't want to be involved! After I find out and told him we still had sex! He tried forcing me to terminate but I decided to keep it! Asked him about his medical history and he answered there is neurofibromatosis and his sister has it. I asked him to talk to me about and how to find out while pregnant if baby will have it? He replied to do my own search and he don't want it and will not be involved then said f**k off and blocked me! I google it but still not clear to me of how to find and decided to find his family and ask! Found for of them on Facebook and messaged them of what he told me and me just looking for some answers and nothing else! Next day he text me that he going to police to report me of me harassing him via friends and family!!! I think I have the right to ask about this unpleasant condition! He called me crazy bitch wow that's fine but still very confused! Any advice, please!?

OP posts:
Summergarden · 11/07/2018 21:34

I understand that you’re upset but you do need to back off from his family. He gave you the answer that you wanted and named the condition. His family won’t be experts on it so I think it’s now for you to do your own research on the subject or at least just pass on to your midwife.

CaMePlaitPas · 11/07/2018 21:34

Now you are pregnant and he has made it clear that he doesn't want to have anything to do with your child I think you have to decide whether you want and can do this alone. It seems like a very specific thing to lie about and I agree with previous posters that it's now time to leave his family and friends alone, and ask your midwife about this condition. Good luck x

Original poster
Brierley86 · 11/07/2018 21:34

I think he is lying to me about! So his family can answer the questions like if true or not! If his sister has it and how is affected! Also he was aware I am not on the pill and this might happens! I know is my fault as well of not protecting my self but he is the older one and if she doesn't want he will not do or use protection!

OP posts:
EstrellaDamn · 11/07/2018 21:38

Judging by your username you're 32!? You were a fool for not protecting yourself, he was a fool too. Now it's time to get real.

The family cannot tell you anything useful about your baby. You're going to have to let it go for now and speak to your midwife.

FissionChips · 11/07/2018 21:38

So you got pregnant on purpose then? With a guy who didn’t even want to date you, just shagged you? What did you think would happen when you got pregnant?

QueenAravisOfArchenland · 11/07/2018 21:43

You think he pulled this very specific and rare medical condition out of his arse just to upset you?

Look, his family are not obligated to talk to you and they don't want to talk to you. And you pretty much dropped him in it with them. I get that you're stressed and upset, but it's not his sister's job to tell you what you want to know and she can't anyway.

Original poster
Brierley86 · 11/07/2018 21:48

No not on purpose! I already have kids. To be honest I don't want baby and this shit situation depressing me more and more.

OP posts:
Original poster
Brierley86 · 11/07/2018 21:51

Yes he might lied about because he don't want baby but the thing is that I can't have abortion. This is his way to force me definitely !

OP posts:
LovingLola · 11/07/2018 21:52

Also I have been advices that I have the legal rights to ask his family about and let them know about! I don't think is wrong to get info about your unborn child!?

Leave them alone. It's nothing to do with them.

FissionChips · 11/07/2018 21:53

Does your medical condition really stop you from having an abortion but allows pregnancy? Isn’t pregnancy usually much riskier for health conditions?

If it’s just that you don’t want an abortion then that’s fine, you don’t need an excuse to keep it.

Really you should speak to your midwive and get some help and support.

QueenAravisOfArchenland · 11/07/2018 21:57

How could a medical condition prevent you from having a termination? Terminations are far safer than pregnancy and birth. If you can give birth, you can have a termination.

It's up to you whether you keep this pregnancy or not. If you want to keep it, keep it, but if you don't want to keep it, termination will be possible.

C0untDucku1a · 11/07/2018 22:02

What contition prevents abortion? Curious.

You should have been using protection. It was stupid to have sex with a man who you are not in a relationship and wanting a child with without.

Messaging FOUR of his family? Well that was unnecessary and controlling. You should have asked your gp and midwife. Dont kid yourself you did it for any reqason other than to get a rise from the ex.

Clairetree1 · 11/07/2018 22:04

what if you have approached someone who didn't even KNOW his sister has NF - she might have preferred not to tell everybody.

You have massively overstepped the mark. I can see why people are upset with you.

It doesn't matter anyway, what matters is whether your child has NF, what type, and how badly.

My friend has two children with NF, you wouldn't know.

Original poster
Brierley86 · 11/07/2018 22:05

Yes stops me I don't want to damage my body for life! Still can't figure out how man can do this like him!?

OP posts:
surreygirl1987 · 11/07/2018 22:08

Yeh you should defimitely not have got in touch with his family. This is between you and him. At least he has told you this info so you can get medical professionals' advice on it... even googling it would probably be more useful than pestering family about it! You may have a legal right to get in touch with his family but even if so, that doesn't make it the right thing to do. If termination really isn't a possibility you have to consider the fact that you may well end up raising this baby alone.

FissionChips · 11/07/2018 22:10

What’s the medical condition? I’ve neve heard of one that would cause an abortion to harm you worse than pregnancy. Not being bitchy, just want to learn.

Celebelly · 11/07/2018 22:10

If you don't want the baby, then why not seek advice about a termination? In most cases, a termination is far less traumatic than a carrying full-term pregnancy and giving birth, especially if you are early. Pregnancy will likely damage your body far more! It doesn't sound like you have a medical condition that makes it impossible (I'm not sure there are any medical conditions where a pregnancy would be preferable to a termination), just that you think termination is going to damage you in some way, which is unlikely to be the case.

fruitbrewhaha · 11/07/2018 22:25

What? You are were not using contraception? But know you wont have an abortion? This was a disaster waiting to happen. You need to take control of your life OP.

Terminations don't damage your body. I think you need to get proper medical advice.

Having to chase this bloke for maintenance, trying to keep a relationship with him and his family for the sake of your child, having to explain to your child why their father doesn't turn up, or pay or give a shit is going to be way more stressful. You are going to have to be very strong for this child whether it has NF or not.

FFSJake · 11/07/2018 22:35

Sorry but it really sounds like you wanted a dc but now your FWB doesn't want to know about it you're unhappy.

You are both idiots for not using protection but unfortunately this will probably have a bigger impact on you than him.

LovingLola · 11/07/2018 22:38

unfortunately this will probably have a bigger impact on you than him.

And even more unfortunately it will have a huge impact on your other children.

Original poster
Brierley86 · 11/07/2018 22:40

I am not chasing! I don't need money from him! I am very independent! Just can't figure out how man will know there is his child on this earth and don't give a fuck about! I had few treatments in the past and back in March one operation and still on tablets and doctors not allows me to have termination as will damage my body for life or worst die!

OP posts:
EstrellaDamn · 11/07/2018 22:40

So you think he's making up a medical condition to force an abortion. And you seem to be making one up so you can't have one.

What a great start for this kid.

FissionChips · 11/07/2018 22:43

Oh come off it, an early abortion is basically a very bad period with a lump of extra cells in it.

Growing that lump of cells into a human puts enormous strain on your body, then you have to push it out. Many women die while giving birth.

FissionChips · 11/07/2018 22:45

Just no way a doctor would say you can’t have an abortion but you can have a pregnancy and give birth!

LovingLola · 11/07/2018 22:46

So despite knowing you might die if you have a termination you still went ahead and had unprotected sex?

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