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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant!!! FWB but BD don't want to be involved

135 replies

Brierley86 · 11/07/2018 16:36

Hello,
I am so confused and really don't know what to do! Got pregnant from FWB and he don't want to be involved! After I find out and told him we still had sex! He tried forcing me to terminate but I decided to keep it! Asked him about his medical history and he answered there is neurofibromatosis and his sister has it. I asked him to talk to me about and how to find out while pregnant if baby will have it? He replied to do my own search and he don't want it and will not be involved then said f**k off and blocked me! I google it but still not clear to me of how to find and decided to find his family and ask! Found for of them on Facebook and messaged them of what he told me and me just looking for some answers and nothing else! Next day he text me that he going to police to report me of me harassing him via friends and family!!! I think I have the right to ask about this unpleasant condition! He called me crazy bitch wow that's fine but still very confused! Any advice, please!?

OP posts:
socraties1234 · 12/07/2018 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JustVent · 12/07/2018 14:18

Oh!! Ok, thank you.

Atlantea · 12/07/2018 15:34

what is your medical condition?

is it possible that you have misheard the information from your doctor?

as pregnancy is much more dangerous than an early termination

zeeboo · 12/07/2018 16:24

Another who would dearly love to know how a termination could kill you. You’ve gone too far and made up something so clearly untrue and you’ve lost the support of posters here.
A medical termination is a pill that induces a period. There is no way that could kill you or affect your body unless you were allergic to the active ingredients in the pill. But then, that wouldn’t fit with the “can’t have a coil” statement.

If you want posters to respond to you and offer support then you need to admit that you’re making that up, it’s making you seem like a 15 year old girl and not the alleged adult over 30 you say you are.

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 12/07/2018 16:40

For a moment ignoring the issue about medical issues with termination

If you don't want one of course that is your choice, but you are focusing on his family and him ....ultimately right or wrong they do not have to tell you anything...they can simply ignore you

It's irrelevant whether it is right and you are wasting energy and time on that issue, you can go to the medical services and they can advise.

If you are independent as you say and you say you chose to continue with the pregnancy then now is the time to step up and just get on with things, if they won't give you the information find it another way but Facebook messaging and the like is incredibly childish now.

Do what's best for the baby and you , as a mother frankly you don't get the luxury of histrionics and childish game playing. Your focus needs to be on being a good parent and not drama with others

Original poster
Brierley86 · 12/07/2018 17:13

Yes I am independent! Thanks for the info! I have spoken to Neuro Foundation and will read loads about! I will stop stressing and depressing as my kids needs me and this baby on my own! Thanks

OP posts:
Atlantea · 12/07/2018 17:24

its great you have come back - but we're all intrigued about what medical condition makes a medical termination dangerous to your life, but full term pregnancy is not?

bionicnemonic · 12/07/2018 17:45

I really would suggest you see your doctor or specialist. You said
“ I had few treatments in the past and back in March one operation and still on tablets and doctors not allows me to have termination as will damage my body for life or worst die!”
if you are on any medication at all is is very important to check it would not harm the foetus

Original poster
Brierley86 · 12/07/2018 18:16

It's blood condition but not discussing further! Thanks all !

OP posts:
FissionChips · 12/07/2018 18:26

Ok hun! Grin

Atlantea · 12/07/2018 18:41

Righteo, do you understand why people are questioning? Fair enough it's none of our business, but you do seem to be a bit of a medical anomaly which is very interesting

QueenAravisOfArchenland · 12/07/2018 18:48

Have you actually asked them about the comparative risks of pregnancy and termination? Because any blood or bleeding disorder will make pregnancy much riskier than an early termination. And a late termination is basically a birth.

Have they told you what to do if you start miscarrying, since a miscarriage could presumably kill you too?

GinIsIn · 12/07/2018 19:33

So you could have surgery “down there” recently, but not a surgical abortion. Because they are so very different.... Hmm

JustVent · 12/07/2018 21:14

Wow. I’ve heard it all.

A condition that could kill you if you have an abortion but is perfectly safe to give birth?

Hokaaaaay!

Allthatsnot · 12/07/2018 21:26

Is it because you're Rh negative? That is easily dealt with.

WinnieTheW0rm · 12/07/2018 21:40

OP - have you actually spoken to any HCPs about the risks of this pregnancy?

C0untDucku1a · 12/07/2018 21:46

Im surprised this thread is still here tbh.

throwawayagain · 12/07/2018 21:53

Brilliant.
I have a medical condition that cannot sustain a pregnancy, so termination or contraception is the only option.
I have never heard of a condition that allows a pregnancy to continue, but necessitates continuation of pregnancy.
Please educate those of us who have been misinformed. Genuinely. It may save babies.

throwawayagain · 12/07/2018 22:02

Apparently septic shock (following unsuccessful termination) is the only thing that falls into the category you describe. If you have septic shock, urgent medical intervention is necessary. Immediately.
Please get help. For the sake of your existing children.

Thisimmortalcurl · 13/07/2018 01:32

It’s bullshit, the only thing I have ever heard that would advice termination on a “blood” condition ( although it’s not often that) is cancer. And that tends to be more because you can’t get the treatment which is best in pregnancy.

Original poster
Brierley86 · 13/07/2018 07:34

Then go educate yourself about blood disorders etc then speak. Probably that's because uk health care ah just no comment !

OP posts:
Atlantea · 13/07/2018 08:16

But we have an expert here, if only.you would share with us?

FissionChips · 13/07/2018 09:42

Why not just tell us?

ellaV · 13/07/2018 10:17

Odd that OP can't tell a group of strangers anonymously about her 'condition' which means she potentially will end up with A LOT of children. Personally, I think we should all get tested in case!
Equally odd that the sister of her FWB didn't want to tell a total stranger she'd never heard of, all about her own condition. I mean I realise OP that you explained you were having the girls brothers baby, so was all totally legit. Can't believe she didn't open up immediately. How odd eh!

BlueBug45 · 13/07/2018 10:45

OP there isn't one blood disorder. However none I've heard off, I have, and relations or people I know have mean a non-medical termination is less risky than pregnancy and labour. Also UK hospitals particularly teaching hospitals are well versed in assessing the risk for each woman in pregnancy and labour.

Also if you have a blood disorder depending what it is, it can be fatal to your unborn child if your FWB has the same or an associated disorder which means a termination is the only option.

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