Due January 2019 (2nd thread)

[InDreamland]

Hello
Last thread was closed............?

@InDreamland I am so sorry, there is nothing to say that will make u feel better right now but know we are all thinking of you at this difficult time x

Thanks for all your kind comments ladies. I have cried all afternoon and evening. Devastated for me and DH. DH had been amazing despite how much this hurts him too. If anyone deserves to be happy it's him and I feel so shit that I can't give him what he wants so badly. I just don't know where to go from here now. Feel like the biggest failure and disappointment ever, even worse than the last 5 years of every month being disappointed when AF appeared. I will never dare to dream again.

@InDreamland you and your DH need to give yourselves time given the emotional and physical pain you are both going through. Take care xx

Thinking of you and your DH @InDreamland be kind to yourselves and just take it as it comes one day at a time xx

Morning,

How are all doing today? Woke up feeling groggy and a little sick so slept for a bit more seem to have been ok since then. Feeling bloated today and heavy when I am walking around if that makes sense.

I'm not too bad, heartburn and tiredness are destroying me though! Currently working through my risk assessment at work with my boss.

@FuckMyUterus its so hard to get enough sleep especially in the heat. Risk assessment at work that makes it even more real eeek.

Ladies, I'm going to come off this thread now. I don't want to be all doom and gloom, especially as many of you are the same stage as I should be and you don't need my issues adding to any anxieties you may already have. Thank you all for being so supportive through this and since I joined. I just wanted to wish you all well and all the best for your pregnancies and hope you all have happy and healthy babies in January x

I know, was having far too much time off so had to come clean with them. 11 weeks 1 day today doesn't seem entirely real either tbh, it's the furthest I've got in any pregnancy bar my sons 8yrs ago ❤️

indreamland I'm so sorry, I hope you can feel as close to 'better' as quickly as possible. ❤️

Take care @InDreamland and look after yourself xxx

@FuckMyUterus I can relate, I am just at the stage I was when I had my MC so anxiety is there but I also do want to be able to start getting excited?

Both my MMCs happened at the exact same time, 8w+5 but weren't discovered til 9 weeks and 10+5 respectively. I've had other, earlier losses, but I'm almost losing the plot a bit now. Like if I think of a baby name a voice in my head will tell me that if I do it again I'll have a miscarriage. Or if I hear sad news about anything or anyone and my immediate reaction isn't absolute heartbreak for them, I convince myself I'll have a miscarriage as punishment :( its so so difficult.

Been feeling really gross today. Cramps and back ache since yesterday afternoon, it’s painful no matter how I sit or stand. Nausea seems to have come back a bit as well. Wondering if that’s due to a return of the anxiety, which seems to have just automatically returned since I’ve gone back to work. I’m also still waiting on the results of the blood test from my scan, assume no news is good news but I thought I’d have heard by now, they said I should know in less than a week and it’s now been a week.

buttercup can't you ring up? I hate when you're awaiting results and they don't get in touch promptly, causes all kinds of worry :(

@fuckmyuterus I wasn’t sure what to do because the official notes say up to 2 weeks, but they said at the scan it wouldn’t take that long. I text my midwife, she said give them a ring so I’ve tried a few times and it’s straight to voicemail, I’ve left a message but I’ll keep trying every so often. I’m concerned because I’ve been told a few times ‘expect a letter in the post’ for various things and they’ve never arrived. I wouldn’t know when any of my appointments were if I hadn’t rang to check because I’ve only had one letter and that’s for my 20 week scan.

@Buttercup53 in my area they say expect a letter in about 2 weeks, unless there's a problem in which case they'll call within 3-5 days so I'm also going by no news is good news.

Talked to my boss today to give him an update since I've had my scan now, he's happy that it's good news. So I told him I'd contact HR, which I did straight afterwards and they've sent me a copy of the maternity policy. They've also said they'll give me a spreadsheet to calculate maternity pay once I've given the MATB1 form. I also told my boss that I would like to tell the team now we know baby's ok, as I work from home I hardly see my colleagues and don't want to blindside them when I next see them as I'm starting show a bit now.

Since I now feel ready to announce to more people I text my brother to see when he's free to see him, we're not close so he was immediately suspicious, after exchanging several texts he suddenly said "are you pregnant or something?" Haha. Didn't really know how to respond so just ignoring it as I didn't want to lie to him but also didn't want to confirm via text. Going to tell my mum and grandma tonight, not really sure how they'll react so a bit nervous.

@FuckMyUterus I was like this when I started looking at prams and other baby things its tough. Hopefully getting the 12 week scans will help.

@Buttercup53 Hope you get a response soon the waiting is the hard part. Hope you feel better.

@cryptonaut how exciting to be at the stage where you can tell people openly.

I managed to get through via a third number and they haven’t actually got the results back yet. She said to call in the morning because they’ll probably know then. Makes me feel stupid for assuming that it was good they werent contacting me, like I’ve let myself go into a false sense of security because they don’t know either way yet. Trying to think positive thoughts, will feel better when DH is Home and I’m not sat dwelling on my own. Back at work in the morning so it’s gonna be fun finding somewhere private to talk, and also potentially getting scary news.

@crytpnaut you’ve got an exciting time ahead! I have close family members who already know but I’m waiting for the blood results before I tell anyone else. I’m sure everyone will be extremely excited for you :)

purplesmiler I'm actually not that bothered about 12 week scan, I'm 11+1 now, have a scan tomorrow and one on the 23rd, then one on the 16th August, so I'm well set tbh.

Its good you feel that way @FuckMyUterus

My clothes feel so tight today, dont know if the heat or my bloat! Ready for something more comfortable I think.

Tbh if I hadn't have had 2 scans already, I would be as terrified and anxious as the rest of you. I guess I need to start picking up a few bits here and there.
I'm umming and ahhing about when to tell DS7 about the pregnancy.

Hey, just logged on for first time, pregnant with my 2nd, dd is 20 months and a star (let's forget about tantrums for now 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Having my 12 week scan on fri and so nervous, had a lot of nausea around 5-9 weeks but totally tailed off now so totally anxious. I am knackered but that might just be toddler induced!

Mums reaction was about as expected, didn't say it just showed her the scan pic from Monday. She said "really? But you're not that big". Really glad I didn't say anything before the scan as she wouldn't have believed us without the photo (due to mental illness). My grandma looked very confused to begin with, don't think she could see the pic very well (she's 91) but she lit up when we explained. Where others have been asking questions when we told them, that was the extent of the reactions from them. I knew I was right to wait as my heart kind of sank a bit. I know my brothers reaction tomorrow won't be much more than that as well, he's already got 4 of his own and we're not close plus as I said earlier he's already guessed haha

cryptonaut is it your first?

@FuckMyUterus yeah it is