Well, i think I’m out.

[Iswallowtoothpaste]

Just done another test and it’s no darker than the one I did 2 days ago. Not sure how many DPO I am but symptoms have gone too and have low abdominal cramping.

It’s taken us 2.5 years to fall pregnant again after last M/C and looks like it’s happening all over again

This baby is so wanted. Feeling very sorry for myself.

OP, honestly stop testing. I did exactly the same and even had some spotting so I was convinced I was out. I'm now 12 weeks and had 2 scans and everything is perfect. HCG levels are different in absolutely everyone and a line not getting darker doesn't mean anything. A line is a line is a line! You are pregnant and unless you have bleeding, you need to stop worrying yourself! With my first pregnancy, before I knew, I had such bad period cramps I was expecting the worst period of my life. Of course that never happened, and I got my lovely DS!

Try and relax.

I’m sat in the car in tears. As of yet I’ve had no bleeding but my sore boobs and wind/bloating have gone. Cramps have stepped it up a notch and I’m feeling sure I’m going to lose this one too.

I’m finding myself unbearable now. People are telling me not to worry and/or panic but I just can’t help myself. I won’t be happy until I see that baby and a heartbeat on the screen.

I’m also being told that the darkness of lines on tests don’t mean a thing but I know that they do. It’s happened to me before, of all the stories you read of lines staying the same or getting lighter 90% have a bad outcome.

I’m sure that soon I will start to bleed and I’ll be beyond devastated. It’s taken us 2.5 years to conceive this one.

op, is it worth going to your gp? I wonder if the level of distress you're in could warrant them checking hormones or arranging a scan? Or at the very least some support.

Iswallowtoothpaste have you taken any more tests?
The two you took were only 30 hours apart. The second wasn’t with FMU. There are so many variables that mean the line won’t have progressed much in that time, not least just that some tests have more dye in them than others.
I am about a week further on than you. I took a test at approx 10dpo that was a faint positive, then a clear blue digital at 14dpo that said ‘pregnant, 1-2 weeks’. No further tests. I felt vaguely nauseous for the first couple of days after taking the test, absolutely no symptoms since. I have cramps that feel like I’m about to start my period. All this is completely in line with my last 2 pregnancies (I have 2DC). As far as I know, I am still pregnant. As are you.

Apologies if the above sounded blunt, i didn’t mean to. At this moment, you are pregnant. You may miscarry, unfortunately it is very common as you are fully aware. It’s an anxious time for anyone, let alone someone who has suffered losses

Ekphrasis I haven’t been to my GP yet, I jut generally don’t feel up to seeing another GP who tells me it’s my fault because of my weight.

Soydora I haven’t taken any more tests but I fully intend on doing so. I need to know either way so I can move on or relax a bit. The second test was done with FMU, that’s part of the reason I’m so worried. You dont sound blunt at all. It’s what I need to hear, this is all in line with my successful pregnancy with DD too apart from the lines. I’m just beside myself right now. I’ve barely slept as I’ve barely eaten. If I just knew, even if it was bad news I’d be able to accept it and move on

Stop testing. You aren't going to get any answers that way. For what it's worth, I didn't test til six weeks (2 weeks after missed period) and the line wasn't any darker than your last two pics. I'm now 37 weeks. Seriously, you're just driving yourself mad.

Same with symptoms. I didn't have any really strong symptoms until 8 weeks.

If you can't sit tight, go to the doctors and ask them to do HCG tests, because that will at least provide clarity on how the pregnancy is progressing. This constant POAS doesn't actually tell you anything and it's not good for your mental state.

I had such a positive feeling about this pregnancy at the beginning and now I’m just despairing with it all.

I asked my GP for blood tests to check my levels last time and he refused to do it, he said I just had to sit and wait which was absolute hell so I feel as though instead of going through the humiliation of bawling my eyes out in the doctors office and practically begging him to draw blood, book a scan ANYTHING and then having to walk out sobbing in front of everyone in the waiting room, I’d take matters into my own hands.

Can you try and tell yourself you are pregnant?

You are pregnant now. Only when you see heavy bleeding are you not.

I do understand how hard it is. Today you are pregnant.

@Ekphrasismy my OH was trying to get me to say that to myself in the car. I know that until I’m bleeding heavily and bright red blood that I’m still in the running.

I hope that a couple of weeks from now I’ll be able to look back and laugh thinking about how ridiculous and manic I was being. I hope and pray.

Please speak to gp.
I understand your concerns about it, but they can help.
Faced with this level of distress they may be happier to help with blood test etc.
A scan won’t show anything for couple weeks.
Gp can help with anxiety- there are drugs that are safe in pregnancy, and other therapies out there.
Look after yourself.

Anxiety is a full on fucker.

Keep saying those words to yourself. I hope that yes in a couple of weeks you can look back and laugh; I did struggle in my first and half of my second trimesters. It would be good to find strategies and support to help you.

cantchoose that’s probably what I should do. I don’t understand why I’m being like this, I had a M/C before DD and never reacted like this.

Ekphrasis I’m very lucky with having such a supportive partner, he’s trying his best to calm me down and is being very patient too. Just trying to do things to keep busy but I’m so tired it’s unreal.

Fingers crossed that this is all just a distant memory in a couple of weeks time.

It's an awful situation to be in and I have been there many times.
sadly no amount of scans or blood tests will make you less anxious. They will only show how things are at that particular moment.
There is no easy way round this. I understand the desperation to want to know either way, but only time can do that.
No amount of positive thinking will change the result. You cannot influence what will happen for good or bad.
best of luck.

Can you book a private scan to reassure you?

The way I coped with the initial worry of my last ( successful )pregnancy in the early days was simply to let it go in my mind and carry on as if I wasn't pregnant.

Scans won't reassure though, they only show that the embryo is alive on that particular day. You immediately start worrying again, well that was my experience.

properlavs you’re right! I think I’ll only be happy when I can feel the little blighter kicking me and hiccuping.

I did go for an early scan with DD however (due to a bleed) and seeing her heartbeat did reassure me somewhat and I went on to have a very straight forward and uneventful pregnancy.

OP thinking of you please step away from the tests. You are doing really well so far so please keep positive

I wish there was an easier way for you . I have been in your position more than once. I think i became more nervous each time.
Try and resign yourself to the fact that the 'outcome' is already decided. The desperate wishing and worrying is exhausting though. It's easier if you can let go of something you have absolutely no control over.

Well I think that’s pretty definitive. At least I know now.

Not long to lie I’m pretty heartbroken to be honest. 2nd consecutive miscarriage, oh but can’t even call it that can I!? It’s a ‘chemical’ 2.5 years to get here and what a load of shit.

Thank you all for your support. Just going to have to sit here and wait until I start bleeding.

I still don't think you should panic just yet. I too was an obsessive POASer and I had mixed results. That baby is in all probability still there.

@flossiesmummy thank you for you kind words. It has in fact dried darker and is the same colour as the last two I did but I’m still pretty certain what’s happening.

I’m not panicking I’m actually quite relieved that I know what’s going on now and have accepted it and know I can move on. It’s the not knowing that I can’t tolerate.

You really need to stop testing lovely, the stress isn't good for you x

Is the faded line not to do with the time of day? Your hormone levels are highest in the morning aren’t they - I seem to remember that from my obsessive days of testing.

Wish you the best of luck with this little one.