Well, i think I’m out.

[Iswallowtoothpaste]

Just done another test and it’s no darker than the one I did 2 days ago. Not sure how many DPO I am but symptoms have gone too and have low abdominal cramping.

It’s taken us 2.5 years to fall pregnant again after last M/C and looks like it’s happening all over again

This baby is so wanted. Feeling very sorry for myself.

I can't get over how you are being treated by your doctor. Complete heartless individual.

@brogueish I understand what you’re saying but I’ve had a healthy pregnancy with bleeding before so if everything was fine, then yes, I would be reassured. On the other had if I had indeed miscarried then at least I’d be able to move on and take what ever steps I needed.

I went to a private scan place once for reassurance. You are wise to be cautious.
It was a place offering 3D scans, so everyone else was very pregnant and very happy. They were totally unprepared for me coming in with a missed miscarriage, I actually felt sorry for them as they were so unused to it and gobsmacked.

I didn't regret it though, because it gave me ammo to get an NHS scan, and then I was able to get access the healthcare I needed (and speak to a lovely, lovely EPAU nurse). I went there to get an answer and I got it. You know how you will be though.

@Loveatthefiveanddime that must’ve been awful and it’s exactly why I’m reluctant to go for one.

Had a tiny bit more bleeding when I’ve wiped just now but nothing on a pad.

Most of the sonographers I know work part-time NHS, part-time private. Apparently NHS trained ones are in high demand in private clinics because of their training levels.

If you phoned up for an appointment, you could explain the circumstances in advance which might help.

Fingers crossed for you.

I agree, it's time to go private OP. You need to know what's going on for your own mental health. If baby is ok, you will relax more. Stress is doing neither of you any good.

Call the private clinic and see if they are used (?) to doing early scans for reassurance. I always found that when I went into a clinic that offered reassurance scans, they were always equipped to handle the bad news.

The NHS sucks. I won't be quiet about that. I know they are good sometimes. This isn't one of them.

I have a bee in my bonnet about the amount of people who try to get scans at epu at 4/5 weeks when it's going to make no difference to the outcome and they need to just sit tight for a few weeks til something can be seen. However I think they should definitely offer you a scan now and what the doctor said was appalling. Unfortunately I suspect it's people asking for very early scans that's made it so people in your situation don't get one.

I miscarried at 6 weeks and didn't even bother contacting epu. Just no point as I knew what was happening and pregnancy tests showed clear quickly so I knew it was all gone.

Has your GP offered a blood test to confirm your HCG levels? I'd be pretty annoyed if they hadn't. If you wanted to bypass your GP, could you go to your local sexual health clinic and ask for a pregnancy test/blood test there? Sorry if it's already been mentioned.

Ok, I’m backing out of this thread now because even I am banging my head against a brick wall with you.

Ive been offered absolutely nothing and if you feel that way @secretstash then why even bother to comment? It’s my personal choice not to get a private scan for various different reasons, it’s no one else’s decision to make, regardless of whatever you think I should or shouldn’t be doing.

I’m tired, I’m drained and I’m a wreck I DO NOT need you coming on here telling me that you’re banging your head against a brick wall because believe me it’s all I’ve been doing for the past 4 weeks and it hurts like fucking hell!!!

I’ve been nothing but supportive. I don’t deserve that thrashing. I’ve had a second trimester miscarriage, I know what heartache is like.

Good luck, in well and truly OUT.

I’m sorry for your loss @Secretstash and I appreciate your support.

The private scan is my decision and mine alone, I haven’t completely dismissed it but for reasons I’ve stated above, am reluctant.

Just read this whole thread. For the love of god pay £100 and get a private scan.

I’ve just been looking online and I can get a private scan specifically for women who have experienced bleeding or spotting and are 6 - 12 weeks. It’s in Newcastle which is a fair drive away but I could probably catch a train up there and back.

It was last summer my miscarriage I didn’t mean to word it like it just happened.

If you want experience, I found out about my MMC at a private scan.
I’d already had my 12 week scan (I was 13 weeks for that) and all was fine.
I had a horrible gut feeling that something had gone horribly wrong a couple of weeks later. I went to the private scan and it was a fully qualified sonographer who was very well equipped in knowledge, experience and compassion.

Please do. I am the most anxious person in the world but there comes a point when you have to take action for your feelings, especially this is not healthy for you or your baby. I would also suggest looking into some meditation or counselling. Whatever the outcome of the scan you need to put some coping mechanisms in place to deal with your feelings xxxx

@Secretstash it doesn’t matter when it happened, it still hurts, mine still hurts from 9 years ago and 2.5 years ago. It’s an awful thing to go through and must’ve been devastating for you after getting past that 12 week mark. I feel more assured now that I’ve seen they do scans specifically for women who’ve had bleeding. Of the NHS seen going to help me I may as well help myself.

Your doctor sounds horrible. In my area the dr basically has nothing to do with other pregnancy can you self refer to the EPU or google the number for your local midwives or the maternity ward at your local hospital?

I find it very strange they aren't sending you for a scan on the NHS. I had about 4 early scans across two pregnancies because of early bleeding.

I also had a friend who experienced similar and they were sent for scans and blood tests across 3 pregnancies well before 12 weeks.

It's all very odd

I'd be getting a private scan tbh.

I cant self refer locally only ladies who’ve had an ectopic can self refer.

I’m feeling very let down by them but am just about to book a private scan.

I am an extreme panicker post miscarriage and had extra scans at 6&8 weeks and also 16. (Yesterday). Wouldn’t have got through without them. Learning to realise that my gut feeling is just my anxiety. Knowledge is power, whether that’s being able to validate a feeling and start to deal or to put your mind at rest.

Spoken to EPAU directly and they’re going to try and fit me in for a scan a some point over the next week which is good enough for me. The lady on the phone was really shocked at how dismissive my doctor was.

Just to make me blow me too a little bit further, I had a letter through the post today with a scan appointment on for Monday just gone 🤦‍♀️ incompetent or what!?

I didn’t bleed at all with DD1 and then bled continuously throughout pregnancy with DD2 from week 4 to week 25 when it just stopped one day. Had to have the Anti D about ten times and there was never a reason found. Pregnancy was otherwise fine. Keeping fingers crossed for you.

That’s good they’re going to try for you in. I’m my area the EPU will see you for bleeding and pain from about 6 weeks and also if you have a history of miscarriage (3 or more) for a viability scan at around 8 weeks