Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Well, i think I’m out.

651 replies

Iswallowtoothpaste · 30/04/2018 05:56

Just done another test and it’s no darker than the one I did 2 days ago. Not sure how many DPO I am but symptoms have gone too and have low abdominal cramping.

It’s taken us 2.5 years to fall pregnant again after last M/C and looks like it’s happening all over again Sad

This baby is so wanted. Feeling very sorry for myself.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Thread gallery
13
Girlwiththearabstrap · 08/05/2018 15:44

@franktheskank Have you read the thread?! I don't think doing more tests is a great idea.
OP I hope you're feeling a bit more positive. Given the bleed it might be worth ringing the EPU or your gp? If you are only 4/5 weeks they won't see anything on a scan but they might be able to book you in for one or do blood tests.

Original poster
Iswallowtoothpaste · 08/05/2018 16:50

Thanks @franktheskank but I’ve literally driven myself bonkers over pregnancy tests.
Although sometimes I’m tempted, I’m actually much calmer now I haven’t taken any for a while.

@Girlwiththearabstrap I’ve been to see my GP today who said that he didn’t want to take any blood because even if my levels were going down, there’s nothing they could actually do and that levels do sometimes tend to fluctuate up and down very early on (which isn’t my understanding of HCG but I’m not a medical professional).

I told him about the tests not getting any darker, showed him photos etc and he said that I’d have started bleeding heavily now if my levels hadn’t started going up from the last FRER I took Hmm again, wasn’t too sure about that but he’s a doctor and I need to trust him.

Hopefully my early scan appointment will come through soon.

OP posts:
Girlwiththearabstrap · 08/05/2018 17:13

Sounds like you're breaking the cycle of repeated testing, that's great!
I think it's frustrating and upsetting when you suspect the worst, but early pregnancy is always a bit of an uncertain and difficult time following a loss. I think you're right to take the advice you've been given now and hopefully when you get the early scan appointment you'll have some peace of mind. At the moment I would actually assume that all is well in the absence of extreme bleeding or pain.

Original poster
Iswallowtoothpaste · 08/05/2018 17:43

I just can’t do it to myself anymore. I had decent lines on the tests that I did do. Have read quite a few stories which show ladies with tests like mine that have actually turned out to be okay, a couple of the women were even having twins!! I’ve had a little bit of mild cramping today and my lower back is aching quite a bit right now but boobs are still sore and had a brief but definite wave of nausea this afternoon.

OP posts:
WhoAteAllTheDinosaurs · 08/05/2018 18:20

Well done OP, glad you're feeling a bit calmer without the testing.

franktheskank · 08/05/2018 18:24

I think testing twice a day is a bit much but doing one every couple of days is normal surely?

SoyDora · 08/05/2018 18:26

I think testing twice a day is a bit much but doing one every couple of days is normal surely?

Normal? Most people I know take a test, see that they’re pregnant and that’s it. I took two this time as I had a pack of two and the first had a really faint line, but generally why would people take more?

franktheskank · 08/05/2018 18:26

Not normal for everyone but if you have doubts then doing one on a Sunday and then a Tuesday isn't ott at all.

Personally I'd have booked myself in for a private scan I don't know how you do it.

SoyDora · 08/05/2018 18:27

Anyway, the point is that the constant testing has been making the OP extremely anxious, so more tests are probably not a good idea.

franktheskank · 08/05/2018 18:27

I've only ever taken one all 8 times but op has been bleeding so it's not ott to want to take another just to check.

franktheskank · 08/05/2018 18:28

Ok mum.

SoyDora · 08/05/2018 18:29

Ok mum

?

Original poster
Iswallowtoothpaste · 08/05/2018 18:43

What’ll be will be. As pointed out by PP (now I’ve finally understood it myself) testing and testing isn’t actually going to change anything of it isn’t meant to be. It is however going to cause me a lot of stress and worry that isn’t going to do me any good.

A scan at this moment in time would likely be a waste of money as there may not even be a heartbeat to see at this stage which in turn would cause me more uncertainty and anxiety. The posters on this thread have been so supportive of me even though, no doubt, I’ve absolutely driven most of them nuts with my constant testing and worrying, thank you for your advice @franktheskank but, with respect, that’s the worst thing I could be doing just now.

OP posts:
Teateaandmoretea · 08/05/2018 19:28

I think testing twice a day is a bit much but doing one every couple of days is normal surely?

With dd1 I did 1 test. Dd2 I did 2 tests, because the first was very faint due to me testing really really early.

Why would you test every couple of days..?

Girlwiththearabstrap · 08/05/2018 19:44

@franktheskank I don't think testing every couple of days tells you anything and certainly isn't the norm.
I think once you have a positive result it's best to assume you are pregnant. If you have severe pain or bleeding you seek medical advice. I know how hard it is to be pregnant after a loss but repeated testing, analysing lines and booking early scans with no clinical need just feeds the anxiety and doesn't change the situation.

whyhastherumgone · 09/05/2018 07:05

How are you doing OP?
I really don't think you should count yourself out yet.

As many people have said, the darkness of a test varies for a number of reasons - I have had two pregnancy losses, one due to medical reasons and another MMC, and the one that got much much further on had a very very light test when I randomly found a pregnancy test in the cupboard and decided to do it at about 18 weeks (no idea why!).
So although that pregnancy ended, it had very healthy levels of hormone and it ended due to a completely different reason that we made a choice about.
So I guess I'm just trying to reiterate that a line progression that doesn't get 'darker every time' doesn't have to mean anything bad. Plus the further along you get, the levels of hormone change etc - there are so many considerations.

I do think you should speak to your doctor about anxiety medication though - I know a lot of people who had this when they were pregnant due to previous losses and sometimes, with the best will in the world, it's all you can fixate on and weirdly, fixating on it and looking up things/testing makes you feel more in control even though you're not helping yourself.

I really hope it works out for you, unless I've missed something on the thread (in which case I am wholeheartedly sorry) it looks positive to me so far - there IS line progression and you still have two clear lines in all of them.

If you ever want to chat, do PM me, I do understand what it's like having experienced pregnancy after miscarriage myself.

Take care and I hope you're feeling a little better today.

Original poster
Iswallowtoothpaste · 09/05/2018 07:19

@whyhastherumgone thank you for your lovely message.

I’ve had no more bleeding and over the past couple of days have felt slightly nauseous. I’ve actually thrown up bile this morning, something was smelling a bit funky in the kitchen and it just made me gag and once I started gagging I couldn’t for he life of me stop, this isn’t actually unusual for me but it’s usually when the weather is much cooler and/or I have a cough. So not sure whether that is actually morning sickness or wishful thinking with a bit of anxiety.

I’ve calmed down a lot and am more positive but trying not to be too positive IYSWIM. I’m 50/50 with it now. GP has reassured me somewhat. Had some bad cramps through the night and indigestion/heartburn.

What will be will be and there’s nothing I can do about it, I’ve also quit looking at stories on google. For all of the good ones there were 10 bad ones 😕

Sorry to hear about your previous losses Flowers

OP posts:
whyhastherumgone · 09/05/2018 08:12

That's a great attitude OP, and I think you've come a long way in calming yourself since you started your thread. You're right about google and it's worth remembering that most people post on the internet when they are looking for help, so it's a biased view - you always get more negative stories than positive. Quitting googling sounds like an excellent plan to me.

Those all sound like spot-on pregnancy symptoms for how far along you are, as well. I totally get not being too positive too, there's always an element of self preservation with something like this, as long as you've got a balance it's a good way to be IMHO.

Hang on in there, if you do need to rant or vent, come back to the thread, and I'm very glad you seem to be feeling a little better and more reassured now. Anxiety is truly truly awful, even when you KNOW you're not helping yourself, that you shouldn't obsess over something, you can't always stop yourself when you're in the grip of it... x

Original poster
Iswallowtoothpaste · 09/05/2018 10:57

Thank you! Things are good for now, no more bleeding and still having symptoms which is very reassuring.

I’m quite accepting either way now, obviously hoping that I’ll have a bouncing baby in january but prepared for if that doesn’t happen too.

I’ll keep you all updated. Just waiting for a scan now. Have no idea how far on I am.

OP posts:
Squeeless · 09/05/2018 12:45

I went into a bit of a black hole in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. I'd never suffered a loss myself but lots of people close to me had. I was terrified and became a bit obsessed. Considering what you've been through I totally understand your anxiety but hope you can also enjoy that fact that as of right now, you are pregnant. I had to remind myself of that over and over!

Wishing you the very best Flowers

Original poster
Iswallowtoothpaste · 09/05/2018 15:58

@Squeeless it’s such an uncertain time and there isn’t a lot that you can do other than sit tight.

I’ve been a nightmare but it’s two weeks tomorrow since I’ve found out and although I’ve had a bit of bleeding it’s not been enough to signal the end or a MC. I just hope and pray it stays that way.

Thank you! You too Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
Iswallowtoothpaste · 09/05/2018 16:08

Ladies . . .

Please don’t shout at me, but, I’ve just been cleaning out my bathroom cupboard and found one last OPK.

I know I shouldn’t use them as HPT but they’ve been positive all the way through this last couple of weeks.

Have just taken this and it’s really dark, I think the last one that I did was on Saturday ish and it wasn’t quite as dark as this one (although still positive).

It’s obviously picking up something pretty strongly. This is very reassuring for me, if I was going to M/C surely the line wouldn’t be as dark by now!?

Annnndddd relax, for now Wink

Well, i think I’m out.
OP posts:
IRefuseToAgree · 09/05/2018 16:47

I think I'm going to buy shares in a company that sells pregnancy tests 😂

whiteonesugar · 09/05/2018 16:49

I completely understand the testing. I did it for the first 10 weeks of my one successful pregnancy (4 losses, one DS) and I took pictures, i lined them up, I studied them endlessly. I also kept them for about 2 years until we moved and i reluctantly got rid. So I am as POAS crazy as the rest of us POAS crazies. It was the only thing i felt i could do to have any idea what was happening.

Everything is looking positive for now and like you say, what will be will be. Lots of love and hand holding for you. xx

StayingAtTamaras · 09/05/2018 17:16

i'll be thinking of you OP Thanks