Well, i think I’m out.

[Iswallowtoothpaste]

Just done another test and it’s no darker than the one I did 2 days ago. Not sure how many DPO I am but symptoms have gone too and have low abdominal cramping.

It’s taken us 2.5 years to fall pregnant again after last M/C and looks like it’s happening all over again

This baby is so wanted. Feeling very sorry for myself.

no, at this stage a scan won't pick up anything.
at around 5 weeks it is possible mohave an internal scan.

OP I want to give you a massive hug then tape your hands together to stop you from peeing on anything else! I’m 14 weeks pregnant and so that awful knicker-checking, obsessive googling phase is very fresh in my mind. I cried at my 12 week scan as I was so convinced I’d had a mmc. But read back your posts to yourself. It’s getting out of control and affecting your relationship with your children. I hope with all my heart you get a positive outcome but it is out of your hands. The thing you can change is how you cope. Please seek professional help for your anxiety, and in the meantime try meditation, yoga, long walks or whatever you enjoy to help get some equilibrium back. Best of luck.

Do you feel that testing again this morning has helped op? Do you know feel that you have the conclusive "proof" that you are looking for? If you do then that's ok, but I suspect that you are still feeling a bit in limbo really.
Is it time to accept that this is just an awful unfair waiting game that you will just have to wait out like many others before and after you?
Sorry that you are having such a rubbish time and I wish for you and for many others like you that there was a quick answer, but unfortunately there isn't.

I'd wait until after 6 weeks if I was you OP and then get a private scan. If you see a heartbeat it will hopefully reassure you.

Personally, if you can, I’d wait longer than 6 weeks for a scan. 6 weeks is still very early.

Many early pregnancies fail at 6 weeks if they going to fail so a later scan is better. With my first mc the embryo had stopped growing at 6 weeks but I hadn’t stated bleeding until 12.

I had a missed miscarriage a few weeks ago. I also tested fairly obsessively up to a point and I then stopped completely as it just wasn’t helping me. The outcome wouldn’t have been different had I continued to test and I felt better when I stopped.
I posted a thread about CBD too. Mine should have been 3+ but was ‘stuck’ on 2-3. I had a gut feeling that proved to be right.

At this stage it’s impossible to say whether it’ll work out. Only time will tell. I really hope it goes the right way for you but in the meantime try to enjoy being with your family. Distract yourself however you possibly can doing things you enjoy. Try not to test- it won’t change the outcome and won’t reassure you either because a test can’t tell you if this is going to work out.

I’m guessing the OP thinks she has already miscarried/is losing the baby and that’s why she feels she’s not other seeing ‘line progression’ on a test. A scan would provide assurance that the baby is there, measures correctly and has a healthy heart beat. Testing like this isn’t going to prove anything, and you already said the Gp won’t give you a blood test. So, book a private scan for 6 weeks and maybe another for 8. The mc risk drops each time you see a healthy heart beat as time goes on.

I've just read the whole thread. I have to echo what other posters have said. I am so so sorry for the clear emotional distress you are in but you are displaying some extremely disordered behaviour and what seems like obsessive or intrusive thoughts about losing a much wanted pregnancy.
Please see your GP next week about the anxiety and stop testing. There is actually no clinical need to be checking for a miscarriage. I understand the trying to prepare yourself for the worst, and the horrible feeling of the first trimester after a miscarriage but the fact is that most positive pregnancy tests end with a healthy baby and in the absence of bleeding or excruciating pain there is no reason to assume the worst.
Taking countless pregnancy tests is not a way to measure progression of a pregnancy.
I hope you're ok. And can speak to someone soon. Xxx

The problem is that by doing the tests, you're looking for reassurance/confirmation. Which is fair enough, because This is an extremely stressful time. There's no way to know everything is OK, and for those of us who've miscarried, that possibility is so very real. I get it, I really do. I had a different issue I was constantly seeking reassurance for.

BUT, doing tests does not reassure you, does it? Because you have seen that they're still positive, and you're not reassured. And paradoxically, doing tests, seeking that reassurance, then not getting it, or only being reassured for a short time, actually makes things worse. You don't get reassurance so you keep testing (in my case I kept asking. I drove everyone mad but I was so desperate to be reassured that I was OK). And the more you test, the more anxious you get. Therefore the more tests you do. It's a horrible, vicious cycle.

The thing is that nobody can tell you what will happen with this pregnancy. You might miscarry, you might not. Scans won't tell you, nor will pregnancy tests. Scans only tell you what is happening at that exact moment. And even if you feel reassured by a scan, the nature of this is that the worry will shift to another, slightly different focus.

But you can feel better. You have to be strict with yourself. You have to recognise your anxious thoughts for what they are, and not get consumed by them. You have to stop seeking reassurance (ie testing) because it keeps the issue in your mind, it stays present, and becomes bigger and bigger. Testing makes it all worse. So even though it is SO hard (and I do know how hard it is) you have to resist the urge to. The more you resist the urge, slowly the better you will feel. It's a very similar issue to health anxiety, with the same kind of thoughts, so any advice for health anxiety should help you here.

Good luck OP

@WhoAteAllTheDinosaurs you are spot on. I have health anxiety (currently under control although I'm way out of my comfort zone being pregnant) and the number of times I was sure, knew in my gut, was 100% certain that I had a DVT, or a clot had moved to my lung (literally I even had an ambulance out once). I was wrong every single time.

The only way to stop the obsessive fear was to stop thinking about it, to distract myself and find other things to do. When your thoughts turn that way you have to be firm and think about something else.

Wishing you all the best OP but please see a doctor about your anxiety. All the stress hormones are no good for you at all.

OP good luck my dear- try to get an internal scan at around 6 wks, they might take your bloods couple of times to ensure hcg is moving up. If you google private scans near you there are loads of places around

Absolutely feel for you, been through similar shit with daily blood tests for weeks to ensure hcg wasn't playing up, it was an absolute mindfuck

Good luck will be thinking of you x

I'm one of the few people that does think the line progression (or lack thereof) can indicate something about the viability of a pregnancy (though it's by no means accurate). I've always used the internet cheapies so don't know if the FRERs work as well for this but in 2 of my 3 miscarriages a late BFP coupled with lines not getting darker as quickly as they should and a CBD that was out by over a week were bad signs for me. Now I was always exactly sure on my dates so variances couldn't be explained by ovulating late which it sounds like the OP isn't quite as sure so that could explain some things. Also, people and pregnancies are different, some never get dark lines and are completely fine but, for me, I know it's a bad sign and preparing myself from the beginning that it probably won't work out saved me a lot of heartache when it, indeed, didn't work out.

I also had a mc after having a perfectly normal line progression but that baby died at around 7 weeks (after seeing a heartbeat) while the other two were blighted ovums.

I get where you're coming from because I've been there. At this point nothing can reassure you that it's going to be ok and nothing can guarantee you that it won't be ok, plenty of people have had the same and gone on to have healthy pregnancies and plenty, like me, haven't. When I was in your position, I assumed the worst but I still figured having a BFP in hand still gave me a better chance (small as it may be) than not having a BFP at all.

I’ve had a bleed. Told OH and he carried on watching snooker.

I'm so sorry, OP. Was it a major bleed, as you know yourself that some bleeding can be normal. Is it worth phoning EPU? Mine gave me an internal scan when I had a bleed (albeit a little later, at 6 weeks).
My heart really goes out to you; I was very anxious during pregnancy and there is nothing anyone can say that will help.

Quite a big bleed with a couple of clots. I’ve just had a full blown panic attack in from of poor DD and OH has fucked off out. I had never, ever been so low in all my life. I feel like everything imploding.

Can you have a friend or a relative come around to sit with you? It can't be easy looking after a child when your going through this. Your partner is acting selfish and no one but you knows what your body is doing now.

I don't know what the protocol is in these situations sorry but could you speak to NHS direct for advice?

My friend says she’ll try and come round later. I haven’t told my mum or anyone else. I’ve got both kids now, I can’t cope with this. He has so much support from me all the time, with looking after his DD, his business, lots of other things that I won’t go into now. I’m very much taken for granted and have been feeling quite resentful or a while now.
Even more so now that he’s completely blanked me, told him I’m bleeding and went straight upstairs due to his nephew coming in. Thought he’d come and see how I was, ask if I needed anything or needed to be taken anywhere but he just carried on watching snooker and then went outside without another word leaving me with both kids.

It's horrible, it really is. I went through the exact same thing two months ago a few weeks further on. In my case it was a miscarriage and obviously this might be or it might not be. It was a much wanted second baby after difficulties getting pregnant with the first. So I know it feels like being kicked in the guts but you have to just accept there's nothing you could have done or could do differently now. I didn't call anyone apart from GP to cancel midwife appointment! Can you get to bed for a few hours by yourself so you can regroup for your daughter?

I'm sorry op. I know how devastating it all is and I'm really sorry your oh doesn't get it. Men often don't.

How old are your DD and DSD? Maybe grandma might fancy coming around for dinner (or they go to hers) and you can have a bath. Your mum needn't know if you don't want to talk about it. You could just say you just need an hour or two.

Don't waste your breath on your OH when he returns. It's not worth any more stress to yourself.

I'm so sorry OP.

I can’t believe he’s being such a dick. My mums away today. I haven’t real got anybody else that I could leave them with.
I’m so upset with OH he’s just walked past the window and glared and me. Sent me a text saying that I’ve treated him like shit today and that he doesn’t deserve it.

Wait hold on. He's in the back garden? ?? Tell him (don't ask) that your going for a bath and the kids need feeding and then just do it.

I am guessing that your anxiety has caused communications problems. You have been very wound up for a while and this will have affected him.

Instead of entering into some childish tit for tat retaliation you need to calmly sit him down and tell him what has been going on. You also need to apologise if you think that you have been snappy with him- it's not his fault and if he was hoping for this pregnancy then he will also be disappointed.
If you are losing it then at least the wait is over- small comfort i know- but better than not knowing and rather sooner than later.