Did you find out the sex?

[DanaNakers]

Bit of a dilemma. I don't want to find out the sex of out baby but DP does. He's not militant about it and respects that if I don't want to then he will roll with that. I also want to keep an open mind, so was wondering...

Did you find out the sex at the scan?

If yes, why?

Did you regret it?

If no, why?

Pros and cons to both?

Thank you

Didn't for DC1&2. DC1 was a natural labour, with the typical "It's a BOY!!!" announcement, and all the tears of joy and hugging you would expect. DC2 was c-section under GA and it was a HCA, when I asked if the baby was ok that said "yeah, he's fine, upstairs with his dad." It was such a flat way to find out that this time we are hoping to find out at our 20 week scan, at least then we find out together.

Yes. I just wanted to know. I get that some people want a surprise but, quite frankly, having a small human emerge from your body that you instaneously fall in love with was surprise enough for me. (I mean, I knew it was going to happen but you can’t teally prepare.) Knowing the sex also meant we could focus on name choosing but didn’t choose an actual name until the babies were born.

@Thistles24 I can imagine that must've been a pretty disappointing way to find out. Congratulations and best of luck at the scan!

@VodkaRevelation absolutely and if that's what you feel is best for you then go for it. I simply love the idea of not knowing and having that amazing extra little surprise at the end of labour. A friend of mine told me it made it easier to push because she was so desperate to find out!

I found out with all 3 of mine. I'm finding out with this one as well I think. I didn't regret it because for me it was all part of the bonding process. I loved it!

Hi @lookingforaline18 - congrats! And all the best for the scan. How exciting for you

Another one for finding out.

I have 3 ds. My boys want a sis. Can prepare them this way and myself. Im too impatient to wait lol

I did because I had such a strong feeling that I knew already. I was getting used to the idea. I don’t want them to pop out the opposite. And I also wanted to satisfy my curiosity and see if my gut was right. It was. I’ll find out with this one too as I’ve got the same instinct.

Didn't with 1 but did with 2. Haven't this time as DH didn't want to know. I'm finding it a pain as don't know whether to bother washing clothes in loft in case it's a boy. Ended up buying plain babygros yesterday as I'm 38 weeks now. Had no white left so was only grey patterned left.

Everyone says if you dont know it's a lovely surprise but I loved knowing I was carrying a girl with number 2 and bonding with them during pregnancy

Each to their own

Thank you DanaNakers Congratulations to you too!

LostMyBaubles I have 3 ds too and my eldest said he wants a sister. No pressure then haha. I'm too impatient to wait too. When is your scan? Mine isn't until May 9th!

My scan is on the 19th but I might be scanned earlier.

Ive just started another thread about this
Ive been gettimg crampy period pains and tightenings for a few days now so will prob go hosp later on

No, I never ever would. I think it would ruin the best surprise you can ever have. and I think it's much nicer to find out when your baby is born and then have your baby right there in the room, than it is to find out at a scan and all you have is a picture to take home.
Dh wanted to find out. Our first scan was later than most so we could have then. They asked and I said no. He wasn't happy at all. At the second scan they asked and again I said no and again he wasn't happy. (I think it was mostly because we had 2 friends both pregnant and both knew what they were having). I assured him that he would regret finding out and that once the baby was born he would be glad we waited. We had a growth scan at 37 weeks and the first thing I said was that we didn't know the sex and didn't want to (so they didn't accidentally say or show us). unhappy dh again.
When the baby was born and we had the "it's a boy/girl" moment I'd always dreamed of. I could tell how happy dh was. After he said to both me and the midwife that I was right about it being better to wait, that he was glad in the end and that next time he is in complete agreement with me about waiting until the birth,

I did with both (one girl one boy), I just couldn't wait to find out and it was such a lovely surprise finding out at the scan (private gender scan and 20 week scan). Made planning and clothes buying so much easier for us, and had time to get our heads round it all. But I understand people wanting to wait too. Would definitely find out if we have another too

Yes we did both times (pregnant with ds2 now.)
Just curiosity really. Nice to refer to said foetus as he rather than it. Basically I just wanted to know. Not fussed about any surprises at birth, just want him out safely and efficiently.

Totally up to you what you do. I can see the pros and cons both ways.

I didn't find out the sex but rightly guessed it was a girl. I wasn't interested in finding out. It wasn't about getting a surprise for me, I just didn't mind either way.

We wanted to know as when the babies were born it was more about whether they're ok - it was lovely knowing, bonding with my growing bump, having really good time to get used to the names we'd chosen to ensure we liked them and they worked for us

I'd always find out - two surprises one half way through and one at the end

I did not want to find out, DH did.

First baby - surprise
Second baby - early gender scan at 16 weeks

Nothing can ever beat that "it's a boy" when I first gave birth. It was the amazing feeling ever.

Second baby, it was lovely having an early scan, being able to buy girls clothes, having personalised pictures made for her room etc.

One think I did do, I didn't tell family the babies name till they were born. I didn't like the fact everyone knew I was having a girl and her name would be XXX. I wanted some element of surprise/introduction to family.

I did.

It’s still a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or after giving birth so I’ve never really understood the ‘it ruins the surprise’ train of thought.

It helped me bond with the baby and feel better prepared (plus I’m very impatient at waiting for surprises ). We didn’t share the news with anyone else though and kept it to ourselves until after the birth.

It’s a personal decision so no right or wrong really.

When the baby was born and we had the "it's a boy/girl" moment I'd always dreamed of.

Without meaning in any way whatsoever to have a go at you, and I genuinely mean this as a musing on how different peoples thoughts are - I can honestly say this has never been on my list of dreamt of moments. Along with white dress wedding gubbins and all that.

It’s great having the kids, and they’ve certainly produced some memorable moments along the way but I never dreamt longingly of being a mother. Or walkingdown the aisle or any of he other things you’re ‘supposed’ to have hankering’s for since being a girl.

I did dream of being the first sole British National astronaut. That would have been fun.

When ds was presented to me I think I remember my thoughts being ‘thank fuck he’s Ok, bloody hell he looks like his dad that’s hilarious, gosh that’s quite a lot of blood I feel squiffy...’

We didn't find out, and actually I think it was a good while after birth before I thought to look

Have to say I was more excited when dh told me the baby had loads of hair as he was crowning. Shit became real then.

We also plan to have more children in the future so we have always tried to buy everything as gender neutral as possible in the first year.

Found out with DC1. Didn't find out with DC2. On balance I preferred not knowing.

Yes with both. We both wanted to know. I would hate a HCP to know and not me plus I am very organised so it helped me manage with the other vagaries of pregnancy and birth!

I wanted to know with DC1 but hospital policy was not to tell. The utter joy when my son was born was worth the wait.

I did find out the next two times & it was lovely to know in advance, but the excitement of that moment finding out at the birth of the first one was really special.

I've absolutely no regrets about finding out in advance though.

Didn't find it with DD as only 1 scan and they didn't tell you. With DS we had a bit if money at that point so paid for a late scan and asked the sex, just for the fun of it really!

I didn't want to find out and my DP but he was happy to go with what I wanted. I enjoyed the not knowing and wanted the surprise at the end. I also wanted DH to be the one to tell me which the midwife allowed him to do.
It's a personal choice and nothing wrong with either way but I always just felt it was a bit more special announcing to family and friends that I'd had a boy, named X when he arrived.

I did, it didn't occur to me not to really when the informations available.

Loved knowing and didn't regret it at all.