Did you find out the sex?

[DanaNakers]

Bit of a dilemma. I don't want to find out the sex of out baby but DP does. He's not militant about it and respects that if I don't want to then he will roll with that. I also want to keep an open mind, so was wondering...

Did you find out the sex at the scan?

If yes, why?

Did you regret it?

If no, why?

Pros and cons to both?

Thank you

I found out with all of mine. High risk pg's lots of scans so it was nice to have something 'irrelevant'. IYSWIM

My ds was a surprise baby and we only found out at 14 weeks I was pregnant. We found out as I felt I needed to be more prepared having missed/not noticed the signs the first 3 months. We also were having trouble with names and this way we ruled out 50% of them haha.
Knowing I was having a boy didn't take away from the moment I met him on the outside and if I were to go for a second, I'd find out again.
Plus I'm just plain old nosey and just couldn't wait to find out..

I found out with my son and I'm so glad I did! Everyone is different but I felt like I bonded with him better because I knew I was having a son so I could imagine what he'd be like and what we'd do

Nope. Didn't find out with any so far! I'm very, very happy with that decision each time and if we had the chance to have another baby, there's no way I'd choose to find out.

For me (and DH) nothing beat the moment of finding out whether we had a little baby boy or girl, glimpsed for the first time when they're born. Magical.

I was have an amino so decided to find out. It didn’t take away any of the excitement. I’m plain old nosey too and if the information was available to me then I would take it.

I found out with all 3...

The thing is you don't lose the surprise by finding out at 20 weeks (or whenever). You still get the surprise but at a different time...and for me it's a time when I am really able to enjoy it. Make the day you find out a chance to celebrate -go for a nice lunch and a trip to mothercare and it will probably be more special than a hurried announcement at the end of an otherwise overwhelming experience.

I was on another planet in labour and quite spaced out after...not so much due to medication but by being "in the zone" and I don't think I really would have cared less at that point if they'd been boy, girl or gruffalo. The text book labour with the delighted "IT'S A BOY" moment with everyone in the right place to enjoy that moment isn't something to count on. It is very likely there will be a million other things on your mind at that time. Also, the people delivering your baby are absolutely NOT invested in giving you this information in some delightful way...they are thinking about the health of the baby, APGAR scores, are you bleeding, are you bleeding excessively, is the placenta making progress, how bad are any tears...it's kind of a busy time for them to stop and make some special announcement. I'm not sure I'd want to add that burden to labour.

I have wanted to find out when we can enjoy the surprise on it's own, get excited about choosing names, going home outfits, imagining the future and bonding with he or she rather than it, for the rest of the pregnancy. I can't really explain but the baby becomes real for me when I know its gender and I get a sudden rush of extra motivation to look after myself, eat healthily etc.

The other thing is coming to terms with any gender disappointment...I think if there is any chance that you or your partner will experience this, it's probably better to have the chance to adjust expectations during the pregnancy, so that first thoughts are "thank goodness, healthy baby, healthy mummy, he's/she's beautiful" etc...not "oh well..."

We didn't and I'm so glad that we didn't - I liked that extra frisson of excitement of not knowing until the day. We'd had names picked out for both, and while I didn't get the Hollywood moment where the doctor holds up the baby and says "it's a...!" (emergency section), I loved that it was my husband who brought him down to me in recovery and told me that we had a boy. Sure, it meant we couldn't buy colour specific clothes but I wasn't too bothered about that. I'd planned on finding out if we have a second but actually, I so enjoyed not knowing the first time round that we probably wouldn't find out next time either.

We didn’t find out. I went up and down between being desperate to know and not wanting to know. Every single person I saw told me I was having a boy. I convinced myself I was having a boy, as did DH. The Midwife delivering said when I was pushing this is definitely going to be a boy. She came out face up and the Midwife said “here he is!” Held up our daughter and we both just stared and stared at this tiny little spot where the willy should have been in disbelief. It was honestly the best moment of my life, I was just so, so shocked. I’m so glad we waited. I feel like everyone in our family were that bit more excited waiting to hear what we’d had. I know it’s not for everyone and a healthy baby is always a miracle, but for me I just would have felt like a bit of the magic was taken away if I’d known she was a girl beforehand. For me personally, when I know what a person is having it makes me a little less interested in their news. One girl I know had announced the sex, name, date of her c section, all weeks before birth. I was bored by the time her baby arrived.

Our family *was sorry x

No (three babies). I loved the moment when DH told me if it's a boy or girl and I think the excitement helped me during labour. Also, I secretly always wanted girls and thought I would be disappointed if they told me it's a boy at the scan whereas after the birth I would have taken anything and really didn't give a damn

I have 4 DC - and we didn’t find out til the birth. I think we were offered the opportunity to find out each time at the 20 week scan. I did think the sonograper gave strong hints though for DC2 - but we had said we didn’t want to know.

DC1 is a boy and in subsequent pregnancies there was a daft expectation from too many people that I’d want a girl next. This became people presuming I was ‘trying for a girl’ when DCs 2 and then 3 were boys. Part of my reasoning for not finding out was that I didn’t want people expressing disappointment for me when if I announced I was expecting another boy. That seemed too much to deal with in pregnancy. Once I had my baby boys I really didn’t care what other people said!

DC4 was planned Caesarean, which was booked for my due date - so no uncertainty there. But I got my big surprise when DC4 turned out to be a girl!

Yes we did.

First pregnancy and at the 12 week scan we found we lost one of our twins so for some reason that made me want to know what the other one was so we asked at the 20 week scan.

Second and final pregnancy we did just because we did with the first.

Didn't regret it in fact I found it just managed to let us plan and get ready more easily in a very busy time.

I think having a baby is surprise enough in itself. It wasn't even a choice for us to find out and so glad we did because we were convinced we were having a boy and she's a girl!

Makes picking out names, themes etc. So much easier, there's only so many plain white,m & grey baby grows you can buy.

As always though, each to their own!

I didn't find out with DD and haven't found out this time. It was lovely when the doctor (elcs) said "congratulations, you have a baby daughter" I didn't have a preference but had thought she was a boy so it was a big surprise and I think DH had secretly wanted a girl so he got all teary.

We didn't really prepare much for DD and haven't started thinking about preparing for this one (22 weeks) so don't really feel the need to know

Pregnancy makes me feel like I have a real link with my mum, my grandmas and all my gg+grandmas who went through it before me, (though obviously I have a lot easier and less worrying time of it than they did) I love lying in bed a night feeling the kicks knowing they felt the same in the past and thinking that I'm having the same ponderings about the sex that they all had in pregnancies past.

@Juancornetto I felt exactly the same (the link to the women in your family before.) It really amazes me to think my mum and Grandma etc felt how I now feel about my baby. It’s definitely made me appreciate them more.

You can see from the response here it is a very personal decision, no right or wrong but I would say it’s easier if you and partner are on the same page.

We didn’t find out because both of us wanted to wait, not as a surprise element but were just happy to be expecting so it didn’t matter. Chose one name for either sex and happy with our decision.

Congratulations and all the best no matter what you decide 😊