Arguments over pink pram!

[Summerbaby2018]

So I am either going to get icandy or egg but found out the icandy colour I wanted ( butterscotch) is being discontinued so that's left me stranded I don't want a black pram for a girl as I'm girly myself but my partner refuses to push a pink pram? Has anyone else's partner felt the same or is mine just being an arse as usual about decisions? I wanted to go for this one

I have a damson colour one and it gets mucky really quickly where we live beside the country park. Now, pink pram obviously lovely but it will get dirty really quickly no matter What, scuffed etc so quite difficult to hide. A black pram you can accessorize with pink blankets, a pram charm, a pink and black bag etc.

The whole pink and blue thing does my nut in, if this wee one due in August is a boy then he's gonna be riding a purple pram lol.

Good luck mama but don't overrule the partner or your probably gonna be walking a lot yourself.

I love pink but would never get a pink pram. It will show the dirt and tbh I would want my husband to feel comfortable with it too.
I can understand your partner not wanting to push it.
You need to get a colour you both agree on because it is about both of you not just what you want.
Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I have a pink pram (bugaboo). I used to love it but if I was to buy again I would strongly consider a black one. Just because my taste has changed.

Summer parenting is about making joint decisions. Finding compromises and working as a team.

This baby will belong equally to you both. So the pram has to be something you both agree on. Same with the name and a hundred other decisions.

Regardless of whether you think his reasons are silly or not he doesn’t want a pink pram. He’s allowed a veto just as you are. You don’t want a black pram. Fair enough find a colour you both agree on.

A nice strong red can be a good compromise. Or navy if you plan to have pink liners etc.

It sounds like the root of your concern is that you are upset that he is disappointed that it’s a girl.

That’s completely understandable but pushing him into a pink pram he doesn’t like is more likely to make him withdraw and presumably you want him to be more engaged not less.

The colour of the pram is the least important thing about it tbh.

Find a compromise.

Regarding clothes, the baby can wear frilly dresses and joggers. It’s not either or. (But don’t buy those cute dresses with ruched bodices - nightmare to iron).

To make you feel better, I know two men who were extremely vocal about wanting a boy who got girls. Both men are absolutely besotted with their daughters, even though they both also now have boys.

Wait until he holds her, he’ll fall head over heels in love in about half a second. Don’t waste energy arguing over a pram colour.

@PhilODox @RoryAndLogan I’m 3rd baby in, I’m pretty certain my kid won’t spend its days in babygrows. Always have comfy, soft outfits for day and babygrows for bed.

Wow. Your partner sounds like a dick. Shouting because he doesnt want to be seen out pushing a pink pram?! wtf?!?!

It doesnt really matter what colour pram you get but babies do like bright colours. Not at the newborn stage but after a few months they will start to like bright colours so personally I would not get a black pram. Id get something more fun that the child might enjoy looking at.

If you would like pink because its a fave colour of yours I think you should get pink! I got a peacock patterned pram for my son. My husband was happy to push it. I dont think anyone would think any less of him for pushing a 'girly' pram, I think they would just presume the baby in it was a girl! He needs to get a bit of a grip really.

Good post @Pennywhistle!

Seriously, has no one else read the comments from OP?!!

That pram is hideous. You will look stupid, please don't buy this.

I'm female and even I wouldn't push a pink pram - I'm all for moving away from gender stereotyping and the whole 'pink for girls' 'blue for boys' malarkey. Also, he doesn't want pink and you don't want black. Why is he the one in the wrong when you both don't like a certain colour?

periapple- I'm not ashamed nor embarrassed to push a black pram ? I just wanted a bright happy colour? The point of post was to see if my partners behaviour was reasonable and whether it was okay for him to be ashamed of pushing a pink pram 🤦🏻‍♀️

Think your relationship problems are deeper than the colour of a pram...

If my dp said he really didn't want a pink pram I'd be fine with it because i think it's important we both like it. We got the icandy in mercury so it goes nice with any colour blankets and accessories. He wanted it in bright orange, i said no way so we found one we both liked.
As for dressing them/not dressing them in dresses or colours or whatever - you do what the hell you like. Im having a girl and I've loved every second of buying her pink stuff. Its your baby and the whole gender stereotyping is rubbish. When she's old enough to make her own decisions ill let her wear whatever she wants and play with whatever she wants. Until then il put her in as many babygrows or dresses or trackie bottoms as i want!
Dont let people tell you what's right and wrong for your baby. But also don't argue with dp about the colour of a pram, there's lots of nice compromises

When I found out I was expecting DD I went all out on the pink and purple. I'd bought the ICandy peach in Parma Violet, which I never once had any regrets over getting and loved it till the day it went! But then most horrific bright pink maxi cosi pebble car seat. Within a day of her being home I regretted that bloody car seat but at the time of ordering, I just went way too over excited and wanted everything as girly as possible.

That was 5 years ago now and I'd sold the pram (the car seat ended up going the second she was big enough for the next size up 🙈). I'm now pregnant again, and I've bought an all black bugaboo cameleon. We find out what we're having in 3 weeks, and will then choose the colour pack for it based on that. This time I much prefer the idea of having a black pram but with a coloured hood instead this time as it's so much more practical and less likely to regret getting!

Good luck on your baby girl and deciding on colours!

I think a neutral colour is better for big ticket items (so you can use them for all your DC, whatever sex, or get a better resale price)

Nothing to stop you accessorising it however you like.

But if you surround her in pink because she's a girl (ie pinkification) will be limiting, and you will have conditioned her choices. If you want it to be just another colour, which she might decide she likes when she is old enough, then you are only giving her a free choice if no one colour is predominant. Which is another reason to ring the changes by having lovely accessories - purple, pink, sunny, jungly, whatever.

And if you respect someone free choice over colour, then you should also respect your Dh's aversion to pink. Unless of course you think that he isn't just choosing the colour but also what it signifies. In which case, you need also to rethink whether it is wise to surround a child in pink as you clearly didn't really believe it is just another colour choice.

Your partner sounds like a dick. However if you are pushing the idea that you're 'girly' and you're having a 'girly girl' in pink and bows and dresses... do you think he might feel disconnected from that? Pinks prams and dresses and bows and so on. What names are you suggesting?

Why can't she wear track suits? You can put her in fluffy pink dresses (have fun with the sick and poo) and he can put her in track suits. You can glue glitter to cupcakes with her and he can blow up dinosaurs.

DH and my favourite outfit of DD's was a cute track suit we called the 'JLo' because of DD's nappy bum in it. She was utterly adorable in it. AND comfortable.

“and the whole gender stereotyping is rubbish.”
Tell me more..........?

This is much nicer and more practical ...

Thankyou everyone I have decided to go for the black icandy and we are going accessorise it the way I like which he is okay with and I have no problem with dresses but she is going to be a summer baby so don't want her sweating her butt off in a tracksuit ! And we have called her Skye which we both agree on a I'm not a fan of frilly puffy dresses I have chosen nice fitting ones and when she is walking ect that's when ( if she wants ) I'll get bigger dresses I'm not commenting no more as the topic has been discussed and beyond so thankyou everyone for your input

Just don't put a crawling baby in dresses. Just think about how the mechanism of crawling works.

I wouldn't want to push it either. Hate bright coloured prams they're an eyesore. Can't you both meet halfway and get a grey or cream one? You can still accessorise with pink blankets and pram fur and toys ect.

I’m not a fan of either pink or black for a pram to be honest. We had a red bugaboo which my ex was happy with as he supports arsenal. I liked grey too and that’s what I’d choose in the egg, goes lovely with a pink blanket too.

In regards to your partner, I think my ex would have reacted like that if I’d have suggested a pink pram and the only baby clothes he bought were from the boys section and had guitars on! That said a few weeks back he bought a buggy for at his and it’s grey and pink, dd apparently chose it.
And she came home in a tinker bell dress he’d bought her last week and he’s bought her pink glittery converse because she apparently liked them best . He also gets way more offended than I do if people mistake her for a boy.
He has also signed her up for socatots, she always has the latest football shirt and he still buys anything he can with guitars and bands on (which do tend to be more in the ‘boys’ section).

So for now op, let him buy some tracksuits and don’t worry about it.

That sounds like a good compromise and Skye is a lovely name.

Good choice op!

I have the black icandy and its great. DD is 4 months and we got a deep purple footmuff (because that's what we could get 2nd hand on schpock).

IMO your DP isnt being a dick about not wanting to push a pink pram, he's entitled to an opinion. My DH didn't want a Kath Kidson change bag so we compromised on a more practical grey one. I have a prettier one but I never use it.

YANBU to ask him to push a pink pram, but YABU not to listen to his opinion. The whole being disappointed by a girl thing is shit but he'll come around to the idea.

I would also save the dresses for 3-6 months, perfect time for dresses. Newborn really don't need anything more than baby grows, and you can get some super cute ones (pink or not, whatever). It's also super difficult to get a tiny baby into tights. Even if she is a summer baby, a British summer is not always warm.

I know the issue has passed but I think YABabitU by saying you don't want her to look like a pom pom but looking at a pram that looks like a unicorn shat it out.

Also, seriously consider getting it 2nd hand. I never thought of it when we got our but they are so expensive and you can buy almost perfect condition ones online for a fraction of the price.

Omg nobody lets a little girl struggle to crawl and move in a skirt. I don't know where people get these ideas. What kind of mothers do you all hang around with to think that that is a thing?!

OP dresses are fine to put on little girls they look absolutely lovely. And most of them come with nappy covers matching the dress. Every parent that I know who had a girl dressed their daughter in a pink vest and frilly nappy cover and footlets when crawling. Still girly and all looked very pretty you can get a few dresses while she is small (and not moving) and save up to buy more when she is past the walking stage so they don't get in the way.