Pregnancy after MC Part 6 - supporting each other through the highs and lows

[Daisybump]

I thought that this one sounded really good!

[Furrymummy]

Elective caesarian followed by liposuction and nip and tuck plus personal trainer.

Apologied to those who are having ec for other reasons beside vanity!

[time4tea]

hello all, was thinking of your this morning and couldn't resist popping back. any news? any new babies since my Torin came on the scene?

lovely to see familiar names still hanging on in there. I think of you on this thread a lot and often have a little blub of gratefulness for you being around and being so fantastic - wishing you all well

on the subject of post-natal form, I seem to have size 20 measurements (up from normal size 14) and size 36F norks! which really have a life of their own at the moment, swelling / filling up at the most inopportune times. I can imagine now what it is like to have a willy. seriously one of the best things about having a baby is not having that constant pressure on your bladder, and having to go to the loo the whole time. as well of course as having the little guy. I don't know how to get to profiles, but here's a hotlink to our flickr site for those who remember me and would like to see my boy (11 weeks today)

www.flickr.com/photos/14941975@N00/sets/72157594160450037/

[time4tea]

I pressed post too soon - I meant to say - thinking of you all and sending good thoughts for healthy pregnancies for you all. may the new thread bring everyone luck XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[ejt1764]

Morning all ... am really worried - started feeling tightenings last week (am now 19 weeks) - then last night, they got painful and woke me up. Have got crampy pains all down my legs, and basically feel dreadful.

Have phoned hospital, and have to go to assessment unit for 1130 ... they tried to reassure me on the phone, but am really worried, and freking out just a little bit.

It's compunded by the fact that I haven't felt any movement at all over the weekend - baby was tapdancing on my side last week - but since Friday - nothing!

Think of me girls - am going to surf mn to take my mind off things ...

[hotchoc]

hi again

less than a week til my scan, feel almost like i have made the whole pregnancy up, apart from the insomnia and nagging nausea/hangover symptoms. i look forward to find out how far on i am too, since i have not had a period since the m/c.

i managed to blag my way through a party at the weekend without drinking. got a hen night on saturday, not sure the girls will let me get away with no booze... i'll have to think of something!! do not want to tell anyone until the scan, just in case there is a problem.

becklespeckle hope your scan goes well on Wednesday, i know exactly what you mean about dreading bad news. how many weeks are you? have you told anyone yet, i am desperate to tell family but keep holding off until the scan.

anyway, hope you all had a great weekend and that you are all feeling happy and positive. xhotchocx

[hotchoc]

thinking of you at the hospital, big hug from me..

hotchoc

[hotchoc]

that was ejt1764 by the way.

[hotchoc]

i think my brain has gone, ejt, that msg was for you.. hotchoc trying hard to engage hand eye finger coordination!!!!!

[becklespeckle]

Hi all, hope you had a good weekend! Ejt - thinking of you at the hospital this morning - hope it is all okay for you hun xxx
Hotchoc - I am 7+2 by LMP but 6+4 by ov date, am very very nervous about scan. Not long until your scan either! Will seem more real to you once you have a due date. I have told a couple of close friends as I figure I may need their support if it all goes wrong. DH has told loads of his family and friends as he is terrible at secrets! I don't mind too much but still get people who he told last year who don't know I m/c coming up to me and saying stuff like "you've had another one haven't you?" - they are all horrified when I explain but at least he hasn't told the DSs this time. They were so excited last time and so upset when we told them they weren't getting their baby (we told them I had made a mistake and there was no baby, felt it was easier on them than the truth). Feeling quite queasy pretty much all the time and off of any food which might be healthy too so hoping they are good signs.

[Furrymummy]

Beckle - that's what we did with my DSS.
Hotchoc, know how you feel, got my scan week today.
Ejt - Hope everything is okay, let us know how you get on at the hospital.
Time4Tea - Thanks for dropping by, glad to hear your little boy is doiing well!

[Fingernails]

Morning everyone. Furry and Hotchoc, my scan's a week Thursday and I'm also feeling as if this is an imaginary pregnancy - altho I had a horrible dream this morning that I lost it, v. upsetting. It's really only ability to nap for britain and the terrible awful vile smell of Other People - urgh, bathing in perume/aftershave (or worse, not bathing at all... nearly threw up on a bus last week) that are left now. Everything crossed for all of us. Ejt, hope today goes well for you - thinking of you xxx.

[Daisybump]

Ejt....thinking of you hun..I'm sure it'll be OK. When I had my wee scare the other week, after three days of very painful tightenings, bub was much quieter than usual and I think she was just catching up on her sleep as she wriggled all through the tightenings.

19 weeks is still very early for movemetns so it could just be that bub isn't hitting the walls of your uterus.

Take care and I hope it's all OK.

Hi T4T . No more babies yet, but I'm due in only 4.5 weeks, then its firststar and Uki I think. Glad you and Torin are doing well. Your link didn't work but I copied and pasted the url....he's gorgeous. Can't wait now to get a hold of mine.

[firststar]

Message withdrawn

[Mumpbump]

Morning all! Hope you all had good extended weekends!

EJT - Daisybump has a point. I have days where I hardly feel the baby so try not to worry too much. Guess you'll know by now so here's hoping for good news...

T4T - lovely little boy - reminds me of ds at that age!

Beckle - when I had thrush in Oz, a doctor said to have a douche with apple juice. The acidity inhibits the growth of the yeast. But that was ony if there was nothing else around and I'm sure the proper medication is going to be more effective!

Daisybump - only 5 weeks to go!!! Hope we will get to see some piccies (although I must confess that I am IT incompetent so unlikely to be able to return the favour...)

Good luck to everyone else who is having scans in the next week or so. Must go as I actually have some work to do today for a change...

[ejt1764]

Afternoon ladies, apologies for cross-posting again.

Thank you for your supportive comments - am not long back from the hospital, and all is ok.

Baby is measuring fine for dates, and hr was 140 - must admit to bursting into tears (again!) when I heard it.

They've said that what I'm suffering from is an 'irritable uterus' - and that I'm likely to have these contractions now until I give birth!!! I've been told to rest (haha!) and to contact them again if they get very painful again like they did last night. They suggested that I should take a couple of paracetemol to ease the discomfort - and when I told them that I can't keep anything down, they offered me anti-emetics! I refused them - but I wish I'd seen them 12 weeks ago!

Having not felt babe since before the weekend, as soon as the doc had a feel and a prod, it started tap dancing all over again! Daisybump I think you may have had a point about babe sleeping when it could when tightenings were manic!

Now off to watch crap tv until 3, when I have to pick ds up to go to the dentist ... then I have a Welsh lesson tonight ... so much for resting!

Thanks girls - it says a lot that the first people I wanted to tell that all was ok was my mn friends. I appreciate your support.

[daisybump]

Glad everything is OK ejt...you had us all worried there

I'm still getting quite painful tightenings, but find that they are very much more noticeable if I'm tired or thirsty...so drink plenty of water (I was told minimum 3litres a day...but its a fine balance of drink enough/pee too much )

Paracetomol don't really do it for me apinwise so they gave me co-codamol, which are great, but make me feel drunk as a skunk.

Take it easy !!

[Mumpbump]

Hurray! I was quite worried there for you, EJT...

[Furrymummy]

EJT - glad you are okay and nothing seriously wrong, though what a pita! I guess right now it's not just your uterus that's irritable! Hope it passes soon x

[becklespeckle]

Ejt - Phew!

[rubles]

Ejt - hmm, very glad to hear it was nothing bad, but shame about the irritable uterus. You don't really want those kind of pains coming and going for the next 20 weeks. I hope they were wrong and it was just a one-off.

Time4tea - hello! I was only thinking of you yesterday, wondering how you were getting on. Thanks for dropping by with the photos of your GORGeOUS boy. What a cutie, I want one now.

Daisybump - 4.5 weeks. Blimey.

There are quite a few people having scans next week it seems. oh I don't envy you girls, that time is just torturous. Let me extend a supportive hand squeeze across the internet to you to help you get through.

As to drinking & keeping it a secret early on, I found that I didn't have to tell anyone I wasn't drinking because people paid so little attention. So I'd order a drink and then not drink it, or take ages over it, or get dp to drink it for me and order another one. By the time everyone else was pissed they hadn't a clue what/how much I was drinking. If it was later in the evening and anyone noticed I only had water or a coke then I'd say I was taking it slow because I'd already had too much or something. If it was a sit down meal then sip super slowly on one glass of wine and make sure you are the one doing the topping up of glasses so no-one notices that your glass never needs topping up.
Hen nights might be more difficult though - I never had to tackle one of those.

My boobs are ma-hoosive. I was approximately a 32D after dd, but went to get fitted for another bra this weekend and had to get a 32G!! It should have been 30GG but the bra didn't go that big. The strange thing is that they don't look that different to before in my eyes.

[Glimmer]

EJT -- phew. What a scare! Glad it's nothing serious but second Uki's hope that it's a one off.

Beckle, Furry and and Hotchoc. Uki sais it all, really. It's a horrible time and I so much hope everything will be well. Sometime it's a blessing that time passes. I actually have changed my whole perspective on life since last year's events. How do they say in American: Don't sweat the small stuff. (Do you have this saying in Australia, Uki?). But the first scan -- that is definitely not small stuff!!

Drinking. Is a problem for me, since I am known to appreciate a good beer after work. I suggest pubs that have alcohol free beer and offer to get the first round.
Or I set down my beer somewhere and then get another one... I still haven't told anybody yet. How long do you think can I get away with this? When do I have to tell my employer (I know I should tell them now -- but I will wait another few weeks)?

I just got my blood results back and I am definitely low risk for Down's and Edwards syndome (I am on the older side). This also reduces the risk of 2nd trimeseter mc, since 20% of 2nd trimester mc are related to genetic problems. Didn't know that before. I am so relieved!!!

After last weeks scan I tried get an appointment with my GP but they didn't have anything until this Thursday. I asked if I could schedule a booking appointment with the midwife and was told no, because they can't schedule an appointment, before the pregnancy is confirmed. I had my scan pictures and report with me!!!! I am so frustrated with the NHS system, that I seriously consider getting a personal loan and working with an independent midwife. Does anybody here have experiences with this? I also learned that I will automatically be classified high risk due to my history. Let me summarize here: first the surgeons do a bad job and scar my cervix, then they say, oh, since you have a scarred cervix you are high risk. I am so angry and frustrated by the system here. I really think I have bad luck with the local services here and on top being a foreigner I am just never taken serious.

[rubles]

I think you meant me not Uki, Glimmer . Not that it means much either way.
I don't think you are alone in getting frustrated with the the NHS, I do get frustrated with the bureaucracy and the administrative cock-ups which keep seeming to happen to me. Are you high risk because of the potential damage to your cervix? It may be that after a certain point you will be re-classified as low risk and be under midwife-lead care only?
I used an Independent midwife last time and have re-booked with her this time. There are some very clear advantages to using an IM and I am very, very, very glad I did (I'll go into them further if you want), but I knew I wanted a homebirth from the get-go so they fitted in with those plans fine. However, if you are sure you want to have your baby in hospital then the IM would only be able to act as an advocate for you at the birth(albeit a medically trained one) and your care would still be the responsibility of the hospital midwives. The IM would be on hand to do all your ante-natal work and would come to you post-natally for 6 weeks-ish (although mine came longer).
I do think that it was one of my best decisions to hire my IM originally for my dd, so do consider it. You could ring one or two up and see what they say about your situation and how much they cost etc. as they would be more than happy to have an informal chat I am certain.

[daisybump]

Glimmer, glad you've had some good news regarding scans , but at the lack of support from our lovely NHS. It seems to be a real lottery as I've had a great experience here. Confirmed by the doc at 5 weeks, first contact with MW at 8 weeks, then booking in etc at 12 weeks and have seen the same MW throughout (she's attached solely to our GP surgery) I think independant MWs are a great idea, but it's a shame that some women need to rely on them as their standard of care is so poor.

Theoretically you don't have to tell your employer until you get your MAT B1 form from your MW (around 25 weeks) but it might become a bit obvious before then .

Directgov has all the info you need and there is a calculator on there that gives you all the salient dates if you plug in your due date.

[PurpleLostPrincess]

Hi all,

ejt - glad all has worked out well and I'm sure they will keep an eye on you. Shame they couldn't explain it to you in more detail and try to reassure you as to what they are planning to do - let us know if you hear anything!

Glimmer - glad your results came back OK!

Thankfully I've had quite reasonable experiences with both DC's in the past and so far with this one. Not sure how I feel about the sonographer the other day but I've come the the conclusion she was having a bad day and that the NHS is afterall made up of human beings!

I've been on a rollercoaster of hormones over the past few days coupled with a few problems with DH - he suffers from depression and anxiety and while he is over the moon about this LO, he has been unbearable to live with! He has just started working which is really brilliant but its taking its toll on him and us as a family. This happened before and it did all settle down after a few weeks so I'm hoping this will all blow over too! So, I'm just generally feeling sorry for myself and can't wait to go to bed this evening as I'm knackered - its a miracle I'm still awake now to be honest!

Sorry, just realised how much I've ranted! I should be grateful that everything is going well considering our history really - tell me to sort myself out!

Take care all

PLP xx

[Uki]

Purple -I hope you slept well, rant away, sounds like you've had some big changes. Hope you in for a nice smooth tranition to the next big change

I wish i could follow the saying "don't sweat the small stuff" might have to make that my new mantra, I stress about everything, and I have now been reading horrible, sad stories on here,
(connor's story under m/c bereavement) is just heartbreaking, also been reading other sites about pre eclampsia in case i get it again, and there are some pretty bad outcomes from that.

I also hate hearing about pg's before 12 weeks as, i just worry for them, anyone else like that?

On a more positive noteg lad the d/s test went well glimmer, and good luck to all the scans this week