I’m pregnant again and my baby is 8 months old....

[TwinkleStars15]

I don’t know what to do It wasn’t planned. She’s still a baby. I love her so much and don’t want her to miss out because of another baby. We would like another but not until she’s 2/3/4. I’d only be back at work 3/4 months. We’d have no money. I’m in shock and can’t think straight. I don’t know if I could go through with a termination but I also can’t imagine having another baby so soon. I don’t even know why I’m posting this, I found out about 30 minutes ago and just needed to vent. Sorry!

Breathe. Think about your options. You have plenty of time and a lot available to you.
But if you do decide to continue, it seems impossible to love a second child. But the love doubles. It's so strange.
My dd was born last April. When she was 9 weeks old my contraceptive failed and we conceived ds. I'm due late this month with him and there's 11 months between them you can do it.
Good luck op x

9 months between my pregnancies and 18mths between my youngest 2. Positives - I had ALL the stuff I needed as I was still using most of it. They are very close and like the same things so are generally very easy to entertain. Negatives - I was fat again quite quickly so couldn't hide it. I returned to work already pregnant so it went down like a fart in a lift. Childcare was eye wateringly expensive for a while.
Overall it worked out well in the long run. There's only one school year between them and they are as close as siblings can be. Having them both adolescent and hormonal together will mean it's all one hit in terms of all round trauma - that has to be good?
It's totally doable, take lots of photos and videos as you don't remember two at similar ages. Invest in a very good sling and a very good lightweight buggy that does newborn to toddler and you'll fly!

@TwinkleStars15 how are you feeling now? I've been thinking about you, hope you're keeping well.

I always wanted a small age gap like that between my kids but I was too unwell so as it is now there will be 4 years between mine and I am worried they won't get along because the age gap is too big!
Either way, we all worry. Your dd will love being the big sis and being able to 'help' with the baby! Not sure about the practicalities of breastfeeding but I believe there is a breastfeeding support group on here. 😊

@KLHL777 thanks for thinking of me, bless you! To be honest I/we still feel the same - confused and totally unsure of what to do. During the days I tend to be more positive about it and think ‘we can do this’ and at night when I’m feeding the little one I have complete doubts and don’t think I could do it. We have another appointment with BPAS on Tuesday but think we both thought we’d cancel it nearer the time... I just don’t know what to do but I’m sure we’ll figure it out x

So we’ve decided to go for it and have another baby! Sh*t!! Going to try and embrace it and not spend the next 7/8 months worrying. Might even book a private scan next week so we can try and get excited Thank you all for your support xx

Yay! Congratulations!

It'll be tough at first but so worth it in the long run. My two are 4 years apart, it's tough to find stuff they both want to do. And as their school is split into junior and infants they will only actually be on the same site at school for one year, when my eldest is in yr 6!

Yours will share many more childhood experiences.

Well congratulations on your pregnancy now you've decided to continue.

And don't forget, it may seem so overwhelming, the idea of having another baby now but your DD will grow and change so much in the next few months that it won't be nearly as difficult as you think it will be.

Good luck with scan 😊

Congratulations on your pregnancy! It will all work out, don't worry.
I fell pregnant when my first was around 6 months old, it was planned but still a complete shock as we'd only tried the once. I had all the same thoughts and worries. I was breastfeeding, and continued until my oldest was 12 months. It was quite awkward at that stage to feed because of my bump so it probably did contribute to me stopping earlier than I would otherwise have done. When the baby arrived, he stayed in with us in a crib so we only needed one cot. I had a double pram but used slings a lot too. I breastfed no2 with no problems. The playpen was absolutely essential - I could put the baby down in it for naps (I had a lovely one which had a really soft padded base) and he was safe from the toddler. It all just worked somehow. They shared baths and I'd dry and dress the baby next to the bath while the older one stayed in a bit longer. Then the baby went in a bouncy chair while I dealt with the older one. You find ways around it. It's hard going and full on but it was the easiest transition for me. Easier than going from none to one and easier than going from 2 to 3.

My two are only 16 months apart. It was hard work at the start, but it means you’re finished with nappies and sleep deprivation much sooner, instead of waiting a few years and having to do it all again.
I moved dd1 into a “big girl’s bed” (mattress on the floor, so she couldn’t fall out!) at 15 months, to free up the cot for the impending arrival. And dd1 developed good leg muscles walking beside the pram on toddler reins, so dd2 could go in the pram.
I used to read dd1 a story while giving dd2 her feed. As soon as they were old enough to play together life was much simpler - at only a year apart, they liked the same age appropriate activities.
My husband died when dd1 was 2, and dd2 was 11 months, but I brought them up alone and now, 26 years later, have two super young women to be proud of.
I’m sure you’ll manage fine!

OMG @TwinkleStars15 I'm crying my eyes out after watching call the midwife and then saw your update and cried some more! I'm so pleased, your post really struck a chord with me as I know exactly how you're feeling at the moment. If I could go back a year to the point where I found out I was pregnant so quickly with our second, I'd tell myself not to worry, to enjoy the pregnancy, and to have faith that this new little person would just fit in to our family and I'd love him just as much as I love our first. But as I can't do that, I'm telling you instead and hope that you'll believe me. Happy Mother's Day! xx

Bless you OP, delighted for you 😍

Yey! Amazing news! I was hoping and praying that's what you'd decide. Congratulations! Xxx

Delighted for you OP. @Babdoc what a heartbreaking and moving life experience you have had. You must be some woman

@TwinkleStars15 congratulations! Our surprise third (got pregnant when dc2 was 10 months) is now 1. She is a sweetheart and has slotted in so nicely. She chases the other two around and the love they have for her... it's just amazing

What did you decide in the end? 🥰
Im 26 with my girl being 9months. I’m currently in the exact same boat as you were. Same dad (21) but acts like a yoyo who comes and goes so don’t really get the support from him. I would love my baby to grow up with a sibling so close in age but then again im not sure if im ready mentally. Terminating will be hard, but keeping it will be hard too. Knowing my beautiful babies won’t grow up in a family environment with their dad. Do i wait for someone’s who’s able to support us and help us but more importantly just love us? Or i keep this baby knowing dads not going to be around anyway? I grew up without my father and it sucks not having that male bond/security. I didn’t want that for my kids but unlucky pick of the draw it’s what i got.
Life sucks 🖕🤣