How do i respond to "was it planned"?

[welliwasntexpectingthat]

About to go public next week on third pregnancy. So far have just told parents and both sets asked either "was it planned" or said " i take it it wasn't planned". I'm fine with this from them but i know i'll get it from friends/colleagues etc and whilst i could say i'll tell you when it becomes your business, i dont want to so how can i close it down politely?

Did you mean to be so rude?

Ooh, we had this! My shut-down was a big smile and "we're really pleased". Neither confirming nor denying.

It was most effective. Sadly, I never got the chance to use my next line: "Oh, sorry, I didn't realise. You wanted to know how often we were having sex and whether we were using contraception? Well..."

Although my favourite was an absolutely lovely colleague of mine, older lady with kids of her own, who came galloping across the room with "That's lovely news, had you and MrBeware been trying for long?" loud enough to be heard in the next county. Bless her. Managed to restrain myself from saying "No, just the once, dear"

I used to say “most things in life aren’t, but still very welcome!”

I had this off a friend of a friend, barely knew her and I could tell she wanted a big scandal of me saying god no i didnt even want a baby (it was very much planned though). I just said of course it was planned with a sickly smile on my face but if id have been quicker thinking I would have given her something to gossip about! People are so rude, but obviously when you're pregnant you're public property

I don't think that matters is a reasonable response.

I used to do a little fake laugh and say lightly wow that’s a bit personal or why do you ask. It doesn’t come across as rude but subtly shows people they’re being rude

"Hmm ... Were you?" was one I always wanted to use, but chickened out each time.

I just ignored the question and moved the conversation on.

A sales assistant said "was it an accident" whilst we were buying a new bed. She then questioned how long we had been together and made a face when we told her (not long).

She was so obsessed prying that she entered our details wrong and the bed got delivered miles away to the wrong house. We cancelled the order (over a grand) and her manager was furious.

Next time I'll say "well he put his penis in my vagina on purpose so yes".

'I can't believe you're asking if my baby was a mistake'

Santa gave me it. ...

That is so rude!!! I was very surprised when one of my DDs became pregnant as I really had not expected that she would want a family - I assumed it was an accident but definitely did NOT say so!!!

'I've known for a long time that not using contraception can result in pregnancy, didn't you?' with friendly but surprised tone and expressions.

I got this a lot, I was young but often mistaken for teens, and later in pregnancy single. By which point I was quite happy to ask why they thought it might not be planned.

My boss pulled this one on me. Didn't expect the question tbh- it is really personal when you think about it! Ended up answering 'que sera, sera', which I think means 'what will be, will be'- first thing that popped into my head. Shut the line of questioning down fairly effectively at any rate.

Can’t believe people actually ask! So rude! I would just say yes as it’s none of their business

Just say yes.

"If you'll forgive my rudeness in not answering your question, I'll forgive yours in asking it".

Congratulations. :)

Could say "it's not even DPs"

yorkshire hahaha that's brilliant 😂

Yorkshire’s response

I can't stand this.
I was asked if DC2 had 'the same daddy?' by a patient I was talking to after she'd remarked on my then-bump.

As it happens, the answer remains 'no'. But she had no idea of my personal circumstances. What a question! DCs 2 and 3 are from marriage number two. No more kids or husbands after this lot. I'm complete.

I was also asked by another patient if DC2 (again, my then-bump) would be mixed race. Does it matter?

Haha hollowtree I love that

I think I'd like to say "why would YOU ask me that?!"

Pointing out that YOU as in who the FUCK ARE YOU?!

I agree, just say yes.

'Well, not really, but you can't turn down the Angel Gabriel at half three in the morning, can you?'

No, wasn’t planned. We always do anal in my fertile week! 😂

I’m shocked that someone would ask that!

I think I’d have to embarrass them with details. As in-
“Oh, very much planned. Thanks for taking such an interest. We had sex on the 7th, 8th, 10th, and twice on the 11th. Didn’t use lube on the 7th and 8th so don’t think that worked but my nipples were very sore on the 10th and 11th so I was definitely nearing ovulation and really deep penetration (do a squatting motion here) from reverse cowgirl really did the trick. Anyway, enough about my sex life- how’s yours?”