How do i respond to "was it planned"?

[welliwasntexpectingthat]

About to go public next week on third pregnancy. So far have just told parents and both sets asked either "was it planned" or said " i take it it wasn't planned". I'm fine with this from them but i know i'll get it from friends/colleagues etc and whilst i could say i'll tell you when it becomes your business, i dont want to so how can i close it down politely?

I would definitely go with big smile and 'we are absolutely over the moon' which doesn't answer the question at all but tells them fairly clearly to fuck off with their personal questions.

I had this all the time. Dh did not beleive me until the doctor said it to him.
"Played for and won" was his response.

I like ‘Why, were you!’
And over tne last few weeks might have said “I’m not called Mary you know!”

I got this at work when I announced my second pregnancy. The weird colleague, who can be a real arse, immediately asked "Was it planned". No congratulations, or anything. I just said "Why?" He was quite arsey and claimed he just wanted to know and there was nothing wrong with asking. I just kept saying "Why?".
It ended when one of the senior people stepped in to tell him he was being weird and questioned why on earth it should matter to him anyway.

"Sorry i must have misheard you, I just thought you said, was it planned?"

Oh, I hated this question! None of mine were planned. In fact they were all conceived on the pill. Answering this question always felt like people assumed I wasn't as happy as I would have been if we had planned it.
I gave up answering because I would get the same questions after - did you miss a day? Were you sick? Did you take antibiotics? And the most insulting - did you just not take pill and let DP think you were so u got pregnant without his knowledge?

When people asked with my youngest if she was planned. (Might add here I am extremely sarcastic and have a humour that is quite outspoken) I used to reply 'oh god no she wasn't planned, im not even sure it is DPs'
Used to shut people up!

How about

“We had sex on purpose”

Oh hogfather that's so offensive. I now get annoyed when I pop to the shop/walk the dog alone ie without my 1 year old twins in tow and people (small village, nosy fuckers) look at me aghast and say " Where are the twins???" THEY DO HAVE A FUCKING DAD YOU KNOW I want to shout. Its like 1953 here, and I'm apparently committing a crime by not being with them 24/7. Felt good to get that off my chest.

My BF dad asked me and my DH on my first pregnancy. I was very as me and DH had been having fertility treatment. Even my mum never asked!

Haven’t been asked this time tho - and if anyone asks we will be giving them a witty answer. It’s nobody business

It's not just pregnancy that beings out the worst in nosy fuckers. After adopting our baby son, we were asked, among other things:

• Didnt you want your own kids? (Errr, he is our own kid!)

• You'd hardly know he wasnt yours (Err, he IS ours!)

• So was his real dad a paedo? (Err, DP is his real dad, the person who loves him, meets his every need, keeps him safe; and no, DP isnt a child abuser)

• What if his real parents want him back? (Err, if you mean his birth parents, no danger of that. He was in such danger, he never lived with them)

• 'You're amazing. I just couldnt love someone else's kids like I do my own' (Err, but he IS my own kid and I bloody adore him!).

*brings

All of my pregnancies have been planned but because of the small age gaps, people have always assumed otherwise. Far more than the “was it planned?” question, I would have people telling me my pregnancy was a surprise! I did have a variety of comebacks but in the end I just said “of course” in a tone that implied the asked was stupid for thinking otherwise when asked if planned and just “pregnancy was planned” when told otherwise.

I need work to not know if it was planned or not so i'll choose a reply carefully

Could you say that “you always have to plan for a potential pregnancy if you have sex” or “we’re certainly planning the nursery now”?

baubles and I bet they all think your dp is 'babysitting' when he has them, or giving you a break.

For work colleagues who you don't want to offend I'd go with "Oh gosh, that's a bit personal!"

What do you all think is so interesting about this question for people? It's nothing malicious, just interesting to know whether it was a surprise or something planned. Just context for the rest of the conversation and the tone. It's the same with marriage proposals, people like to imagine the moment of finding out the news. When I've said mine (3 close together) were planned, that explains a lot about the situation and the moment we found out. Equally when I've said about the unplanned one, it's set the tone for the conversation ie. a few jokes about the car size and good natured chat about reactions etc.

Planned or unplanned ultimately has no negative meaning either way, and nobody thinks for a second that either is more loved than the other once it arrives so I'm amazed how uptight everyone is about this.

I think it's because a lot of people value a private sex life.

People REALLY couldn't give a shit about your sex life.

Then why do they ask?

Because it's context for the reaction of the couple themselves to the news. Nobody is thinking about the couples sex life.

It's a very personal question.

Could you answer with something like 'not really-we were trying for a puppy'?

3rd baby = grow a thick skin.
My beautiful DC is 6 months old and idiots people are still proclaiming me to be ‘mental’ for daring to stray beyond what they deem to be a perfect family size.

Women of childbearing age are public property!

Didn't bother me at all. What I did think was weird was "ooh how did that happen!?" And from someone else "we know what you've been doing!" ... I suspect you don't though love, DS is an IVF Baby (only DH and I know) so mainly I've been stabbing myself with needles and DH has been wanking in a pot

A colleague of mine answered that question (within earshot; I was not the one who asked) with a sweet smile and the words No, we were trying out a new brand of condom and I have given it no stars on Amazon. Or it may have been my husband's fingernails. Now fuck off which was a good answer!

I am not uptight. I am quite reserved though. No one who knows me could ever think I would welcome a question like that.