My consultant really really wants me to have a section - I don't want to

[NoCapes]

I have a history of bad labours
My last one in particular was really really (really really) bad
So I'm high risk this time
My consultant is pushing me to have a c-section and keeps going on about how he really doesn't recommend I give birth, he wouldn't be comfortable it'd be very risky lalala, he even said to my partner at the last appointment as I was halfway out of the room 'please talk her into it'

So I probably am going to go ahead with a section if he feels that strongly about it
Trouble is I feel really weird about the whole thing

I have given birth 3 times without any pain relief or anything so going in for a section feels like a bit of a cop out this time
I absolutely don't judge people who have a section at all I honestly don't I know people just do what's right for them, I just worry that it's not right for me
I'm worried I won't feel like I'll be as close to this one as my others or have the same bond, I won't get that euphoric feeling you get when it's finally out and you get a sticky wet wriggly baby on your chest, someone will just announce that it's out and flash it to me over a sheet
It'll all just feel so detached

I have 2 boys and a girl already and after DD i had PND and I really really struggled to bond with her, and if I'm really honest with myself I still don't feel as close to her as I do the other two
I'm having a girl this time too so I'm already worried about not bonding and I'm so worried that not giving birth to her is just going to make that worse

Sorry I'm rambling a bit but I just feel so deflated
I want to give birth to my baby, not just have it removed

Op is only getting away with her comments because she is a "known"name.

Anyone else would have been scorched with flames.

@NoCapes totally off topic but did you and GEG stay together?

I had a vaginal delivery with dc1 and a emcs with dc2 because of misdiagnosed placenta praevia.

Honestly, there was nothing detached about the second delivery at all. I was just as euphoric as I had been with dc1, he was still placed on my chest straight away.

In fact, with ds1 I had a bad tear so it took them a long time for them to stitch me up and while they were doing that DH had skin to skin with ds. I didn't start to bf him until a couple of hours after he was born, and I know the advice is within one hour.

On the other hand with ds2, he was born at 9am and I stayed on the delivery wars until about 7pm with him, he was just in his nappy inside my nighty all day and I fed him much sooner. It was only when they came to transfer me the postnatal ward that the midwife fitted and said we had to get him dressed. I didn't get up out of bed until the following day (even tho I'm sure the advice is to get up and about asap, every time I asked they were like no no not just yet) so in that respect it was a more relaxed first day with lots of cuddles and time to establish feeding.

After my first delivery I was pretty much expected to get one with it- I remember trying to negotiate putting paper knickers on with a catheter and a crying newborn with ds1 😱.

What I'm saying is, don't assume cs will be detached and non-euphoric as it wasn't for me as someone who has done it both ways.

If your consultant said that about talking you into it, you really need to have the section! You're no good to anyone if you're either not here anymore or you're left permanently disabled due to birth damage.

A section is most definitely not an easy cop out! After my first (emergency) one I honestly thought I might die, I felt so awful. My second (elective) one was a piece of piss in comparison and I loved it, but it still bloody hurt afterwards.

If you'd gone for a natural birth, it sounds as though you'd be very likely to end up with an emergency (under GA) section and even a hysterectomy. So you'd miss the birth, unlike a calm planned section where you can ask for the sheet to b e lowered at birth, hold your baby immediately... I wouldn't risk it, however much of a martyr I felt like being!

I loved my c-section and doctors rarely try and convince you into them so there must be a good reason for you dr to be so forceful.