Staying posifrickentive- Thread 17 for ladies pg after mc

[SayItIsntSo1]

I couldn't see a new thread.

Hope you all find this one ok!

Oh yes, the spots mama they are all over my boobs, face, neck, shoulders and behind my ears. Last week I had a pointy white unicorn horn just off centre on my forehead for nearly the whole week. DH is finding this hilarious.

I don't want to know. I like the idea that, after all the worry about whether or not this wee one will survive, we will have one mystery that is actually all positive.

I think we're going to find out - when my brother was born, my mum had wanted another girl and so felt momentarily disappointed when they said he was a boy. He then got very ill and she's always blamed herself (as ridiculous as that is). So I think it would comfort her to know as she's now very superstitious about people even speculating over whether a baby is a boy or a girl - and I think she's passed it on to me a bit as I am as well! So as much as I think it's an amazing surprise, I think I'd feel better knowing.

I'm covered in spots. Three new ones on my NECK of all places this morning. So annoying!

Oh EmFe it's such a worry isn't it. Are you alright? Fingers crossed it's just implantation and doesn't develop.

I'm getting blood when I wipe after pooing now (yesterday and the day before).....that's a thing right? I'm sure it was mentioned earlier in the thread but can't find the post. No spotting so, on the face of it, I'm still pregnant. Just. A lot less nausea, slightly bloated and the spots...loads of them. Plus some eczema on the corner of my nose (had this with DS).

mammabear I found out the gender with the first two which was lovely - it was great to call the bump him/her. I didn't find out with my third as OH wasn't keen....and a wonderful surprise when DD popped out.

@Utter I was always so against finding out I was desperate to keep it a surprise, but after I miscarried I felt the same, like I wanted to know who was in there so it would feel more real. My OH struggled to understand my change of heart. He really didn't want us to know. And now I am 23 weeks and we still don't know! We have both thought boy for most of the pregnancy, but I am now doubting and thinking it's a girl, which is fun because me and OH are in a bit of competition now :) I'm glad I've waited, mainly because it is driving everyone else mad not knowing lol.

Hi everyone hope you're all ok...

Joining the gender discussion.
We've found out with all of ours. Don't really have a reason other than helping to pick a name previously and so we could prepare with clothes etc.
This time though we found out so we could really get to know her as a person with a name. We've personalised the things we have for her also. We've just finished decorating the nursery. It made it so much easier to pick out specific things and plan ahead (sort of). Only babies name is being kept a secret until she's here safe and well.

My DH has worked so hard the last couple of days decorating and building furniture, he really is the best husband and daddy. He's made our girls rooms perfect just the way they wanted them.
Today I'm clearing out all my clothes half of which are over 10 years old and don't fit and won't ever fit again!
The rest of the house is the pits right now and then nesting has definitely started as it's bugging me to the pint I don't even want to go inside!

Just to wade into the gender discussion. We found out what we are having - a girl. I'm not well known for my patience, and after the awful experience of a mmc earlier this year I wanted to find out a bit more about the baby to help me bond with her.

I had emotionally disconnected myself at the beginning of the pregnancy but now will do anything that helps me become closer to her.

It's strange how so many of us feel the same way, like we need that connection by finding out the sex. I think you do always wonder who that baby you lost would have been, and in subsequent pregnancies you spend the beginning trying not to get attached! Now I talk to him/her all the time and so does my OH to try and feel that connection. X

I think we may find out, I want to prepare myself as we already have a boy, that being said I think it makes Labour more exciting when you don't know!

I'm feeling quite upset about a phone call I just had, I called the clinic as we can't make the scan date given to us (husband is an airline pilot and they're very restrictive with their rota), was ready to give LOTS of alternative dates.

She was rude with me and said if I did change it I needed to know I 'wouldn't be able to get all the tests'! I don't know what tests Il be missing out on.
I said well Il just have to miss them then as I need my DH there as I've had a MMC before... she interrupted me and said 'I hear what you're saying but I can't guarantee you'll get everything you need'?!
In the end she came back with a diary and I have her 8 alternative dates!
I'm quite upset to be honest I think they need to be a bit more sensitive with women like us (well me!). I'm also now a bit lost as to what Il be missing out on?

It's so understandable to crave that connection with baby after what we've all been through! When I was pregnant with DD there was no question - we wanted the surprise at the end. And I have to admit I did feel a bit smug telling people we didn't find out the sex because I think most assume you will as most do nowadays. I have a bit of a pet peeve about people who announce name of unborn DD/DS as soon as they've found out the sex and I loved being able to announce it's a girl! to my family after she was born. I feel like if it wasn't for the MC, and if it wasn't for the fact it was twins, we definitely wouldn't find out same as first time.

This time I do share that need to feel the connection with the babies, and this time it feels a bit more insensitive to refer to the babies individually as "it"! I also have added pressure of finding two names that fit well together and also fit with DDs name - she wasn't named for 8 days after she was born so I think I have a bit of a task on my hands!

Ah well, a month to decide anyway!!

@mogulfield ugh she sounds awful. It honestly baffles me how such rude people manage to get jobs that involve them having to interact in an appropriate manner with another human. Regardless of your past situation she should have been so much more sensitive! This is your BABY there is nothing more important in the world to you! It's not like you changed the date to personally inconvenience her ffs.

I would ring and ask to speak to somebody more senior - express your worry that you now won't be receiving the appropriate care and the health of your baby is your utmost priority especially considering your previous MC. And say that the manner in which you were spoken to has really upset you. You don't deserve to be spoken to like that - nobody does!

Thank mamma I I appreciate it. I thought I was over reacting. The problem is they send out a date with no consultation and if I could make it I would. But my husband has an airline exam which if he doesn't take it he's not allowed to fly!
If I was seriously ill he would get out of it.
The last hospitals I dealt with were great if you needed to change, I always offer lots of alternatives as DH has lots of week days off.
I might get DH to call back and ask for full antenatal care as I got quite upset on the phone and my heart was racing. (Not usually this pathetic by the way... used to be a tough member of the armed forces!!) I just feel quite sensitive around the issue of scans since my MMC.

@mogulfield that's is awful! Make sure you complain, it's not like you haven't just turned up for an appointment, you have given them a fair amount of notice.

I'm on my soapbox about complaining to the NHS at the moment, I've just wrote a 4 page letter of complaint to my GP regarding my recent treatment.

@Mogul that's awful :( I'm sure if you got to the scan on the day they would answer all your questions and do any tests necessary! Our hospital have been so good at offering reassurance to me, I find it really shocking that there are such bad healthcare professionals out there X

Hey ladies :) just place marking till i go bavk and read up on what ive missed

Hope everyone is doing well

Daft question but what are you ladies drinking especially you ladies who are sick this pregnancy. My go to with all other DC has been sparkling water with a little lemon in it this time everything tastes awful or tastes so strong it makes me sick and bubbles are a no go😥 that said I did enjoy a glass of tonic water and lime not sure if I'm aloud much of this though seems to be some conflicting advice and I'm anxious enough any tips

Minnie I've mostly been drinking really cold water. Other drinks just taste sooooo sweet!

Water, decaf tea, sparkling water, sparkling water with ginger and lemongrass syrup in it, fruit teas, peppermint tea, fresh fruit juices. About 2-3 times what I normally would in a day volume wise. I seem to be drinking all the time. The sparkling water is good for the nausea for me.

Hello, can I tentatively join? I was directed here by a few others on a couple of other threads and have just read through...

I had a MMC with my first pregnancy last year - found out at 9 weeks, confirmed the day before Christmas eve that it had stopped progressing at 6 and then typically, MC started naturally on Christmas Eve.

I found out last week that I am pregnant again after having a week or so of feeling really queasy and just not right, bloating, upset stomach etc. Got a strong positive quite early and obviously checked every day up until my missed period after that...have sat on my hands and not bought any more tests since.

I've been feeling surprisingly chilled about the whole thing so far - very, very cautiously happy but trying not to read too much into anything. Don't really have any symptoms, only the odd bout of dry heaving, and strange motion sickness feeling as well as tiredness. I've also gone off eggs. This is exactly what happened before and I don't really know whether to be reassured or worried, so am trying not to think about it - especially as I essentially feel quite normal and don't feel like my symptoms are getting stronger, I know it's very early days.

I was thinking about booking an early private scan - my old EPAU said I would be allowed an early reassurance scan at seven weeks, but I've since moved and now my GP won't book me in with a midwife til I'm 8 weeks. Started another thread about this, so am going to ring EPAU direct tomorrow and see if they can help but have a feeling I'm going to have to book a private one.

While researching private clinics I came across a whole bunch of threads I probably shouldn't have read and won't repeat here as I don't want to stress anyone out, but it's set me off today :-/ I'm so annoyed with myself as I promised myself I wouldn't read anything like that this time. I think I've managed to talk myself down and feel a lot better now, just trying to stay positive.

Just wanted to say congrats to everyone who has had a positive scan recently, I'm so thrilled for you all and sorry for anyone who is spotting/worrying about symptoms - it's such a tough time.

Wow that is such a long post - sorry for the essay of introduction!

Thanks to everyone that was angry for me, I was surprised how upset it made me! When I get the letter I'm going to check I've got all the tests on there and go on from there. Thanks for the support, apart from DH (a bloke) I can't talk to anyone about this in RL.

Regarding drinking, big fan of sparkling water with lemon here as well, and decaf Diet Coke (literally all the fun removed), ginger tea, decaf tea, and if I'm feeling fancy m and s do a lovely raspberry syrup cordial thing I love!

Welcome rum I was told I might be able to get a reassurance scan after a MMC, but they don't seem to do them in my new nhs authority. Dr, midwife and now clinic have all just gone along with the usual 12 week one, which should be next week so I'm trying not to fret. It seems some do some don't, fc for you. Try not to fret as well, MMC are still quite rare. When I had mine the sonograoher hadn't seen many that year.

I say this as someone who is convinced Il turn up to my scan and there will be nothing there, symptoms not that strong today