Why choose not to breastfeed?

[MissBax]

I work in healthcare and have just been on a breastfeeding workshop as part of my training. I knew the benefits of breastfeeding for mother and baby anyway, but couldn't believe just how incredible it really was!
I was just wondering what people's reasons were for not breastfeeding? I'm not asking about health reasons or those who have suffered abuse etc. But just wondering why some women simply choose not to?
I'm not being a GF either before anyone offers me a biscuit 😉 just genuinely curious why someone would choose to bottle feed?

I don't know if others agree but I don't think our culture is entirely supportive.
In some cultures even today a new mum is expected to do little more than rest and feed for the first few weeks after delivery.
It's not unusual here to see women with day old babies in the supermarket doing the shop.

We feel pressure to get back to normal, do the housework, have visitors (make them tea and feed them not them feed you) which I don't think is ideal. I couldn't feed chiefly because I was so miserably tired.

My partner didn't really understand I needed looking after. Women can leave hospital after just a few hours. My mum was in for 2 weeks which was the norm. 2 weeks to rest and heal must help the body feed in my view

And minifingers also as Yesyesyes said, it's all well and good to use statistics but...

So whatever the statistic is, say 30% of women in the UK are not aware of the potential benefits breastfeeding has for them and their baby. Well, okay...

Does that mean that providing them this information in isolation is likely to change anything for them? Very probably not.

It is again hugely oversimplistic and using statistics in a, hmm, not very useful way by making such a shallow statement. I really don't mean to come across as rude or confrontational BTW, honestly just trying to explain my point of view!

What I'm trying to get at, and hence my "pumping breast is best material" comment that you addressed is that it really is not as simple as providing this material to all women (over and over again) and just hoping that this will somehow fix the myriad complex contributing factors to why these women might not feel confident or cabable of breastfeeding.

I guess I'd read about benefits, Dr friend had advised me it would be good to attempt first six months....however, I chose not to even try. Have no guilt. Dd thrived. It's not for everyone, even those of us older mums, both financially and emotionally strong.

Because, having appraised myself of a great deal of the research and PROBIT in particular (nearest thing to a RCT you're going to get in this area) I was aware of how minimal the demonstrable benefits are. They weren't worth being the one who had to do all the night feeds, particularly as bf would have delayed me going back onto my preferred form of contraception.

That said, I was still curious to see what bf felt like, I think because I saw a lot of it growing up, so I tried it a couple of times with my first. I was interested! Didn't like it so no reason to continue. I've never liked having my right tit touched anyway, always felt like nails on a blackboard, I don't know why. I guess I could have just fed from the left one had I liked it, but with such minimal proven health benefits for either of us I'd have to have really loved it.

And sorry I should add that this is particularly true on the context of what we already provide re antenatal breastfeeding promotion.

I got a leaflet about it at the 12 week scan, my midwife will talk about it at my next appointment, it is widely available information on the Internet through the NHS and just about everywhere else if you were to look at feeding.

If there are women who despite all this are unaware or unconvinced of the benefits of breastfeeding, providing even more pressure and even more advocation is not going to change that, because it is clearly not addressing the wider issue.

Is PROBIT really recent? I had DS nearly 8 years ago. Wish I'd known about it then. Would have relieved the intense guilt.

"Is there a genuine lack of knowledge on benefits? Or is it an unwillingness or inability to engage either with them or HCPs in general due to bigger problems, as mentioned earlier? Banging on about it will do little in that case."

1. Yes there is a genuine lack of knowledge about the benefits of breastfeeding

1. It's not always the fault of health professionals if people from a traditionally formula feeding culture are not receptive to information about breastfeeding.

When I read these debates they remind me of the dialogue surrounding feminism in the 1970's, where people who were massively resistant to the equality message would complain about 'feminazi's' and 'womens libbers being too strident and turning people off feminism'.

It's like someone has to be to blame.

I chose not to breastfeed after 10 hours of painful trying when it turned out I wasn't physically able to.

Thankfully enough my kids have grown up healthy enough, good to know this unsupportive shit for women that can't so we get branded 'uneducated' and 'not doing the best for our babies' is alive and well though

I didn't bf my 2 dc ( now 10 and 12) because I wanted to bottle feed. I think bf is fantastic it just wasn't for me. I do remember being in the hospital after having DS and the mw pulling at my nighty to get him to latch on, despite me saying I wanted to bottle feed, same with DD. It's really a shame that some mothers are made to feel like bad mothers because of their preference, that was certainly the case for me.

Nobody to blame personally. It's just that the approach is not really working.

And I'm as feminist as they come.

Just thinking things like these do not happen in isolation, do they? Many influences perpetuate them. That's all.

I'm not sure if it was being an older mum, but I didn't once feel pressured into attempting BF....they completely left us to it. Perfect.

Well minifingers there you go, in your example that is the confounding factor and pushing more and more "advocation" is not going to reach those women, so it's not helping anyone.

If they are happy and confident feeding this way, we have to ask ourselves if it is ethical to feel that it is our duty to persuade them otherwise. My answer to that would be no, as I of course believe autonomy, especially relating to a woman's body, is much more important. And so again the answer is not to churn out more and more breast is best information.

Just out of interest - those of you who take comfort from studies like PROBIT, how do you feel about the studies like this: here from a reputable university, showing demonstrable differences in brain structure of bf and ff babies, identified by MRI?

You have some great responses already - I am breast feeding dc2 and ff dc1 - years ago when dc1 was born I wanted to know how much he was feeding and when he was well happy and excellent sleeper and grew along 91st centile I was never bothered about food and I always had to be out and about so I couldn't see how I would sustain decent breast feeding - several years later with dc2 thought would try bf and ff if unsuccessful as I decided more time sitting relaxing with coffee and cake would be good and it has worked out well dc2 being exclusively breast fed is also just above 91st centile and no bother - feeding choice to up to the mother and both have pros and cons but both help grow amazing babies x

Similarly, encountered patronising and dismissive "support" with DS sleep problems (made worse by reflux and other things) when I had PND. "Leave him to cry and when he likes and chokes in distress, mop him up and leave, and do this as many times as needed". I was too well educated in this area to take their appalling advice for a barely 7 month old baby. But this refusal led to the retraction of all other help. In the end got into horrendous credit card debt hiring a part-time nanny, as no other support available. One size does not fit all. In anything!

And I'm not sure what you mean about "someone" having to be "to blame".

It's not really debatable to acknowledge that behind every statistic there are going to be many complex factors behind those statistics to gain those results. That's not blaming anyone, it's simply accepting that there isn't a blanket solution which will work for everyone.

"Well minifingers there you go, in your example that is the confounding factor and pushing more and more "advocation" is not going to reach those women, so it's not helping anyone"

I'm not 'pushing' for anything actually, am I?

That's just part of your rhetoric - breastfeeding promotion is about 'pushing' and 'shoving down people's throats' etc.

Never seen anyone who uses this sort of language express any concerns about the character or quantity of formula marketing, which FWIW dwarfs the spend on breastfeeding promotion many times over, and whose sole intention isn't to improve the health of women and babies but to make money for shareholders).

Well, like in all studies, you get some variation due to differing designs, researched populations and analyses.

Bottom line for me is, if you're not happy and BF is not working for you, it's no good making yourself unwell over it. That is of no benefit to anyone at all. And the guilt should not be planted there so strongly that it stops people doing what is best for them and their babies as individuals.

1. Yes there is a genuine lack of knowledge about the benefits of breastfeeding

1. It's not always the fault of health professionals if people from a traditionally formula feeding culture are not receptive to information about breastfeeding.

*

And this, Minifingerz, is exactly why 'breast is best' campaigns are not working.

Because many of those campaigning are, despite every evidence to the contrary (including the sheer number of the FF mums on this thread that felt immensely guilty about 'giving up' and 'failing' their children), convinced that this issue is simply a lack of education and people not bothering to learn about the benefits.

Surely, the many responses in this thread show you that people are aware of the benefits of breastfeeding and that they were responsive to the idea of it. Something else, for whatever reason, went wrong along the way.

And convincing yourself that it's just a lack of education and you can keep throwing your "But there are benefits to BF, don't you know?!" and it'll suddenly stick, is incredibly simplistic.

"is that it really is not as simple as providing this material to all women (over and over again)"

Well luckily nobody, including me, is suggesting this is the way to deal with widespread ignorance about breastfeeding.

You have jumped to the conclusion that this is what I think based on, um, your belief that anyone who is strongly supportive of breastfeeding is an unimaginative twat perhaps?

It's not about taking comfort it's about acknowledging the facts that the evienne suggests.

Many past studies are deeply flawed in their methodology and do not adequately remove confounding factors, which means that BF in itself can not be unequivocally held responsible for any benefits. The PROBIT study was as close to a RCT method study as they come and the results are significant, particularly as things like NHS guidance base their assertion's on these studies.

The Brown University MRI study is very interesting for sure, but the point is not to say that there are no benefits to breast feeding, the point of what we are all trying to convey to you here is that there is no empirical evidence that formula fed babies will be significantly worse off in life than breastfed ones.

The study is great, but it is still important to acknowledge that the brain development increase in infancy clearly hasn't led to all breastfed babies being 20 - 30% smarter than formula fed babies. It's not as simple as that.

And PROBIT and several other sibling studies have shown that in terms of several markers of health and development, no significant correlation has been found linking breastfeeding to children being significantly healthier or more intelligent because they were breast fed.

There has been a recent study linking higher paternal age to higher IQ. There are still many things about IQ, and intelligence as a whole, we don't understand. Did the Brown study take that into account, for example?

minifingers

there's no need to be defensive, I'm not trying to have an argument on a personal level with you.

You say that "luckily.... no one is suggesting that this is the way to deal with widespread ignorance around breastfeeding"

But you also quoted me saying that the solution to improve breastfeeding rates was not to keep on providing more and more BF advoaction, and went on to say how there is "evidence" that women are ignorant of the benefits of breastfeeding.

I hope you understand then, why I felt this was a direct contradiction of you now saying that we indeed don't need more push from the NHS to "promote" breastfeeding. Because it's not a case of some women just "not getting it".

@MissBax Plenty of people have given you lots of good reasons as to why they or others choose not to breastfeed. You haven't replied to any of them, only to argue with people. That's why you're coming across as goady.

I think it's very dangerous to have a definite opinion about ANY aspect of parenthood until you're in that situation, personally. I intend to try and breastfeed if I can but I'm certainly not going to evangelise about it or judge people for choosing to formula feed because I'm very aware that could easily be me come January!

And sorry just to clarify, the NHS are basing their BF benefit assertions on the older, flawed studies. Not the more recent ones like PROBIT/ sibling studies.