Why choose not to breastfeed?

[MissBax]

I work in healthcare and have just been on a breastfeeding workshop as part of my training. I knew the benefits of breastfeeding for mother and baby anyway, but couldn't believe just how incredible it really was!
I was just wondering what people's reasons were for not breastfeeding? I'm not asking about health reasons or those who have suffered abuse etc. But just wondering why some women simply choose not to?
I'm not being a GF either before anyone offers me a biscuit 😉 just genuinely curious why someone would choose to bottle feed?

My sister chose not to breastfeed her children as she felt more confident bottle feeding. I chose to bf for the same reason.

I mix fed because I wasn't great at it. Small nipples meant it was harder for DD to latch on and I wanted to be sure she had enough. She had a bottle for every feed with a bit of breast feeding thrown in for the first six weeks. First feed was breast. Also I couldn't express. Found it really difficult.
Doing both worked and felt right for me

There are a million reasons.

People want their bodies back after 9 months pregnancy. People want to share night feeds. People want to be able to spend a couple of hours away from their baby.....

Formula feeding is as valid a choice as breast feeding and it's an individual choice.

I don't think everyone actually knows or believes the benefits of breastfeeding. To both mum and baby.
Also it's so normalised to bottle feed- think of the new baby cards with bottles on them, the people they see on tv and film bottle feeding (though I must admit many soaps now are at least starting to show breastfeeding which is great) not to mention people they know like friends and family.

It also shares the duties which is more encouraged these days with both parents being seen to be equally able to provide care...

I still think it's sad though.

Dya think that's down to lack of support and education from the midwives/breastfeeding specialists etc?

They aren't aware of the health benefits.
They may have issues around their breasts or body image.
Family pressure (both ways!)
Think bottle feeding is easier.
Loads of different reasons. Biggest ones is seeing others struggle and listening to negative narratives around others experiences.

It's partly support. Partly societal expectations.

People think we'll I'm returning to work soon what's the point.

All sorts

I think its wonderful that mums have a choice.

I had to FF DS1 after a rough couple of weeks as I burnt my hand very badly pouring boiling water onto it instead of in the cup and a did few other dangerous things due to sleep deprivation. Decided my life and that of my family was more important than breast milk given FF is a perfectly fine substitute.

I accept most of those reasons, but sharing feeding can be done by expressing and letting dad or OH or anyone else share it :)
I am expecting at the mo and can't wait to breastfeed - one of my friends text me and asked if I was going to as she didn't understand why the midwives were encouraging her to (she's expecting too). O was just really surprised as she must just not be aware of the health benefits!

Because adult women are allowed to make decisions about their own bodies?

I've only known a handful of women who actively chose to never bf. One was returning to work after 8 weeks, one just didn't fancy it, one said f was every bit as good and bf hurts....lots of reasons really. Not sure more support would be useful to women who don't want to try bf at all, more for the women who want to bf but stop earlier than they would have liked.

Because I didn't want to

So glad you accept them

Expressing can be a PITA, I gave it a go but ditched it as it had pretty much the same effect on me as actual BFing with the added bonus of feeling like a cow being milked.

Some MW encourage, some are positively awful with it, one told me that not BFing was as bad healthwise as smoking while holding baby .

ImsorryTommy - do they???? I had no idea. 😑

Fancythat - you must have had a reason to not want to?
Gah - one told me that not BFing was as bad healthwise as smoking while holding baby - God that's awful!!! I hope you told her where to go!

There are a million reasons and many don't feel like a choice. I wanted to breast feed, but had to drop it after 4 months:
A) tongue tie, only diagnosed at 3 months, made that DS didnt feed properly and my supply never made it through. he lost weight quickly, too quickly and I still shudder at photos of him looking skeletal.
B) exhaustion. Constant feeding (see above), very little sleep for months, and the feeling that my body wasn't mine any more - didn't make for a pleasant experience for me. Neither was the guilt at not being able to do it 'properly'. Contrary to other experiences here, I found the pressure to breastfeed was overwhelming and led to a crushing sense of failure on my part when it didn't work out. I think there should be a greater recognition of how hard it can be (and yes, I was well aware of support networks out there - they didn't help).

Having said that, I'm going back into the ring for round 2 with DC2 due in a few months. But you're making it sound like it's always a rational, detached decision - where you simply count the benefits. That wasn't my experience.

People make all sorts of decisions for reasons that suit themselves.

What to eat, weather to drink alcohol or smoke.
They don't owe any evangelist who's never even been in the position to choose an explanation.

I'm a student nurse and I'm quite unsure why you are even asking this.

These things about patient autonomy are covered in class? A woman can choose to do with her body as she sees fit and it's u to everyone to support her even if it's not best practice, evidence based or what you personally would do.

Surely you know that not everyone who should be able to breastfeed can.

Not everyone who can wants to.

Not everyone who can't is happy that they can't.

There isn't enough support, you only have to look at news stories of people being shamed for feeding in public.

I have 2 children. My first I wasn't supported by midwives, medical professionals and I don't actually remember there being much support. 1990s.

My second, I fought hard to breastfeed but I had a number of things against me. One of which was the medical mismanagement of my birth. The medication I needed to take and the lack of supportive HCPs

I had to give in after 8 weeks.

but sharing feeding can be done by expressing and letting dad or OH or anyone else share it

With respect, that's a bit naive OP. Not everyone can express enough to share feeding. I could barely get more than 2-3oz a day expressing, even though I successfully ebfd (and still bf) my 20mo old ds.

whether

Sharing feeding duties through expressing is nothing like FF. Expressing is a job in itself and not everyone can express easily. I choose to BF my second child but FF my first who we adopted as an infant. FFs main advantage from my experience is equal ability to parent in all aspects.

Well no I didnt, because when your pg and feeling vulnerable you tend to believe some of the shit that comes out of some MW mouths.

I went home and cried that I was being so selfish that I wanted to ensure I didn't cause a serious accident.

And not to speak for FancyThat but I believe she has already told you why she didnt BF - because she didn't want to. That's her reason.

Wow people are getting way too defensive on here. Where have I been an "evangelist" or told people what to do, or judged anyone for not breastfeeding?!
For me, it just seems like the obvious choice and I was just wondering why people would choose otherwise. No need for all the hostility.

Sexualisation of the breast in the media, which develops from the patriarchal society that allows men to appropriate breasts for their own (generally exclusive) use.

'Allowing DFs to share in feeding' isn't actually a convincing argument against breastfeeding. The close bonding of a mother/baby breastfeeding pair is beneficial for survival, interrupting it by 'giving Dad a turn at giving the feed' is the patriarchy attempting to undermine the bond or insinuate themselves into the relationship.

Co-sleeping is the answer for fathers who want to be involved. Over time it alters the man's body chemistry to make him more amenable to supporting his offspring long-term.

X-post on the expressing. I couldn't manage any decent amount either.