Why choose not to breastfeed?

[MissBax]

I work in healthcare and have just been on a breastfeeding workshop as part of my training. I knew the benefits of breastfeeding for mother and baby anyway, but couldn't believe just how incredible it really was!
I was just wondering what people's reasons were for not breastfeeding? I'm not asking about health reasons or those who have suffered abuse etc. But just wondering why some women simply choose not to?
I'm not being a GF either before anyone offers me a biscuit 😉 just genuinely curious why someone would choose to bottle feed?

Just try saying that bf is anything but hellish on Mumsnet and see what happens to you!

Just try asking people on MN why they don't breastfeed and see what happens to you! 😉

Op I hope you're able and it works well for you when the time comes but every woman is different and has the right to make their own choice. Formula is not poison and women who choose to ff are not the devil.

Another friend's mum was a bit weird and told her "only poor people breastfeed because they can't afford formula". - 😱

Formula is not poison and women who choose to ff are not the devil - I am fully aware of this, and have never said anything on the contrary.

With my first I was young 16-17, I had no advise, no one I knew breastfed so couldn't ask family and the midwife just asked if I would like to breastfeed and I said I would try which I did once,l. I didn't realise if it doesn't happen first time you could try again and to be honest after hearing all the stories about people in public judging them online I was happy enough to formula feed for just that reason alone.

2nd I breast fed for 4 month. Amazing support and even got a breastfeeding health visitor to then find out shes allergic to dairy and I'm anaphylactic to pretty much everything so she lost a lot of weight and I couldn't take vitamins so she got poorly, her weight wasn't even on the chart it was that low and still in tiny baby.

Now pregnant with 3rd and will be formula feeding. I have to many allergies and don't want baby to suffer like my 2nd.

Whatever I say isn't going to be a good enough reason for you, I didn't want to breastfeed so I didn't, no medical problems, no pressure from anyone, I just didn't want to. What's the problem with that? Why do you need a justifiable (in you mind) reason?

@MissBax Yes. The family was a bit strange. They had to have "top brand" formula according to her mum (Aptamil and he new pro nutria one when it came out).

Her mum also very much emphasised that designer baby clothes, the most expensive buggy and fancy cars were very important. It's better to get into debt than people thing you are poor.

Whats happened? You asked, people answered, their answers weren't good enough for you, apparently, so understandably people are getting a bit riled (so goal achieved - well done )

this is actually a pretty ok thread and tbf you arent the worst BF-GF there has been on MN. Not even close.

Nobody assumes bf is universally hellish, Bertrand, what a ridiculous notion? People can opt out of things that are perfectly straightforward for all sorts of reasons best known to themselves

When you return to work within the first 12 weeks, your priority is getting the baby established into a routine (often at nursery/other caregivers) and so often bf past the colostrum stage isn't practical.

It's cultural.

UK has the lowest rates of infants BF at six months in the world. Every mother believes her decision to be her own but it's made in the context of a society that pushes the idea that 9 months is enough time to sacrifice your body for your baby, that dad's can't bond if they don't bottle feed, and that formula is just as good as breast milk.

My own home country had no paid maternity leave (USA) and no free healthcare and yet has higher BF rates. British women could not have more resources available to them to succeed in BF to be honest. They just don't want to.

I did bf for a while. I ABSOLUTELY HATED it, made me feel bursts of emotions, hate, sadness, love all at once and I was really tearful and bordering on PND but I did it because I felt it was best and felt I'd failed when I started to combi feed then totally switched to formula at 3 months first baby and 2 months second baby

I read an article about DMER and realised that was what I was having ... made sense after all my terrible feelings

My best friend had a baby and didn't even give colostrum - just said it was horrible and she couldn't bear the thought of it so straight onto formula - not a problem

The saddest one I heard was from a hcp in my area. She said that a lot of teen mums she spoke to df from birth to involve the dad so they don't leave them.

Its very clear from op's posts she does not have any actual real life experience with breastfeeding other than a workshop.

Breast feeding is an 'obvious choice' in the same way never giving into a three year olds tantrum is an obvious choice, never feeding your toddler anything but organic home cooked meals is an obvious choice, etc. Op, parenting in real life is going to be wildly different from whatever workshop or handbook you read.

Best of luck with breast feeding, it would be interesting for you to come back to this thread in a few months with the reality of sleep deprevation, tongue tie, mastitis (I don't wish any of this upon you - its just a potential reality!), and see if your views deviate from the obvious choice.

I have formula fed both my children. My first had 24 hours of colostrum, my second didn't go on the breast at all. The reason was indeed that I just didn't want to. I just didn't fancy it. Thankfully for me I had a choice and a perfectly suitable alternative option.

*ff

If I was going to offer advice to anyone who wanted to bf, I would say "Avoid Mumsnet like the plague" It is virulently anti breastfeeding.

"The concept is exactly the same. Sorry you didn't get that.

• "would you like a cup of tea" -
• "would you like the opportunity to try and benefit yours and your baby's health?"

Yep, exactly the same."

right there thats is you judging formula feeders. Come back when you have any idea what you're talking about you naive silly person.

I really hope that breastfeeding doesnt impact your mental health and you eventually realise how ridiculous you sound. Maybe them you'd understand how FF might just be a way to benefit the mothers and in turn the babies health.

glitter - in regards to the 'hippie' comment, that's the reaction I've had from a few people too and it's these outlooks I don't understand 😕
When I told them the health benefits they were actually shocked, they really didn't know. Apparently now formula companies are no longer allowed to advertise stage 1 formula!

I didn't breastfeed DC2. I had severe hyperemesis through the whole pregnancy, it complicated my labour. Post birth I was depleted, exhausted and depressed. Baby didn't want to latch and when I tried to express it retriggered my sickness. When I finally acknowledged that I wanted my body back and didn't want to keep trying to feed and got the bottles out it was a massive relief.

My babies were both in NICU and I pumped day and night for them both. The first had severe respiratory issues so never learned to latch. Eventually no matter how much I pumped I couldn't keep up with her demands.

With my second child I was really let down. She too was in special care but she did latch I pumped and pumped but they felt I didn't produce enough when pumping or they didn't feel that baby took enough from me when breast feeding (although when they syringed and checked she had taken more than they thought) they just said I wasn't providing enough milk so said I need to top up. The top ups got bigger and my breast feeding and pumping suffered

I also have possibly not enough glands or something - and I have inverted nipples.

I feel so incredibly guilty and posts like this make me feel so bad

*- "would you like a cup of tea" -

• "would you like the opportunity to try and benefit yours and your baby's health?"

Yep, exactly the same.*

It's this attitude that winds me up - you're saying over and over again you respect everyone's right to choose etc but in this response to a PP you quite clearly state that you think FF is making a choice to deprive your child of a healthy start to life! If you simply want a post with responses only from people who congratulate you on your spectacular integration to how parenthood should be done then perhaps you need to jog on elsewhere

Oh I forgot the undiagnosed tongue tie on my second . What a fucking mess it all was

You're not going to be a great HCP if you have the opinion that adults with full knowledge of all information, have capacity to make decisions and say 'I don't want to' isn't enough for you.

It's absolutely a response that you need to respect and not say 'it's not good enough'.

Hi MissBax. Thanks for raising this issue. Since you work in healthcare I actually have a question for you, and to other mums with experience with pumping milk.

I always wanted to breastfeed and know the clear benefits. I am pregnant with my first and husband and I are planning our m/paternity leave. We want to do something a bit unconventional and split it right down the middle. 2 months after birth we both want to switch to part-time: I want to go back to work 2 days a week, and on those 2 days my husband will stay at home. On those days I had planned to pump and my husband would feed the baby.

Already so many people have piped up with "No you can't do that!" "I think you are imagining it all too easy" "You can't just pump on demand" "The baby won't want your boob after having the bottle" "But it is confusing for the baby".

So is pumping really that difficult? Is it this big challenge? Or is it just because these women never tried it?

The part-time plan is going ahead. So does anyone actually have good pumping advice? Full-time boob is not an option.

Because if it's really that hard to pump and the baby does really get confused, I can imagine that would sway people. I used to be a 100% pro-breastfeeder but all of these comments are starting to "get on my tits" and I'm already starting to consider formula.