HG Awareness Day
"Today is International Hyperemesis Gravidarum Awareness Day. While most of you know I've been unwell, there is a general lack of awareness about this condition and I want to share my experience. The photo shows all the drugs I've had to take over the last few months.
Before I became pregnant, I'd barely heard of HG aside from the papers talking about Kate Middleton. I thought morning sickness would be a quick puke first thing then I'd trundle off to work and carry on with my day. Just four days after my positive pregnancy test, I threw up for the first time. Then again and again. That day, I went to lie down in bed. I hardly got out of it again for the next three months.
HG hit me like a ton of bricks. I had no idea what was happening to me. Was this normal? All I could do was lie in bed and throw up. I felt severely nauseous 24/7 and was vomiting vigorously up to 10 times a day. Sometimes I threw up blood. I couldn't keep food down, I could barely keep water down. I couldn't watch tv, or read a book because it made me feel sick. Just rolling over or sitting up was enough to make me throw up. All I could do was stare at the ceiling or sleep. Simple things like having the energy to stand in the shower felt impossible. I cried. A lot. Every day seemed like a year and nine months seemed like an eternity. I had no idea how I would get through it.
I wasn't prepared for the impact it would have on my mental health. I hardly saw anyone for weeks and weeks as it was such early pregnancy, when you don't traditionally tell people. It was very isolating and scary. Friends and colleagues noticed I'd disappeared but didn't know why. I cancelled all social engagements, missed hobbies that I love and had to sell tickets to events I'd been looking forward to. Life just stopped. It was so lonely.
The dehydration was extreme. I visited my midwife at 8 weeks, where a poor student midwife didn't know what to do with this women vomiting all over her room. She tried three times to get blood from me, but I was so dehydrated that my blood had thickened to the point it could not be extracted. She called in a qualified midwife, who also tried and failed to extra blood. Every time they put a needle in, I felt even sicker. I wished they would stop but didn't say anything. I left covered in bruises, miserable that they'd have to try again at a later date. The midwife's parting shot was "if you get any more dehydrated, you'll need to go into A&E for a drip". MORE dehydrated? How much more dehydrated could I get? I didn't want to be a bother so I just went home. I now know I should have gone in for a drip and I really wish the midwife had been clearer about that.
HG affects your closest family. For me, the guilt was crippling. I felt useless and a burden. My poor husband was doing absolutely everything. Working full time, walking the dog every single day, running around after me as I couldn't get out of bed, cleaning the house, multiple trips to the chemist or to the shop to find different foods I might be able to eat - only for me to throw it up again. He's been exhausted, stressed and deeply worried about me and the baby. He never complained once.
I had just started a new job. Just five weeks into that job, I was forced to tell my new manager that not only was I pregnant (surprise!) but I'd been signed off work! Luckily they were supportive and I've been able to work from home. Without that, is have been signed off for months. However, I STILL haven't been physically back into the office since early February as I am not fit enough for the commute into central London.
I barely left the house, only crawling to the GP occasionally to sob at him and beg for help. People in the street recoiled at me as I limped there, stopping to hang off lampposts and throw up in the street. I sat in the GP's waiting room, clutching a carrot bag as other patients eyed me in horror and shuffled further away.
My GP was sympathetic at first and quickly prescribed me a known pregnancy safe medication. Unfortunately it did absolutely nothing to help me. We tried another drug, then another drug. In the end he actually asked me "what do you want me to do?!". I felt so let down. I didn't know how to treat this! He was the medical professional and I wanted him to help me.
Then I found the Pregnancy Sickness Support charity. I cannot speak highly enough of these wonderful people. As I sobbed in desperation to Karen on the helpline, she reassured me, told me where I could get help and what drug I could try. I went back to my GP armed with information, having printed off the new medical guidelines and begged for this drug. GP dismissed all my information even though it was official guidelines! In the end, it was only when my husband told the GP how worried he was about me, did I finally get a prescription.
That drug is the reason I can eat and drink again. It's not a miracle, and I still had days when I couldn't get out of bed, but it was the only thing that helped. Thousands of women country wide take this drug safely in pregnancy, and yet I've heard so many stories of women being denied this help too. It's distressing and more research needs to be put into this area, and most education with GPs is desperately needed so women can access the help they need.
As people slowly found out why I'd disappeared, the well meaning advice started. Almost every single person said to me "have you tried ginger?". Of course I tried ginger! It was the first thing I tried, along with multiple other natural remedies before admitting defeat and seeing my GP. No pregnant women wants to take drugs, the guilt is all consuming as you worry if you are harming your growing baby. I'm on very strong antiemetics which are given to chemo patients. Do you really think a friggin ginger nut biscuit is going to do anything? Please don't say thing to HG sufferers. Anyone will tell you that it's the least helpful thing you can say, as it just shows that you have no idea how unwell that person is and how extreme their sickness is.
A few days ago, I hit 20 weeks, the Pregnancy half way point. I seem to finally be hitting a turning point. I haven't thrown up for a whole week and I've started to try and cut down my medication. I'm hoping I'm one of the lucky ones, as some women suffer right up until labour. Others are hospitalised repeatedly. It's been the toughest four months and it definitely changed your perspective on things, makes you realise what's important. I hope I'm almost through it now, but I've heard so many stories of wine who suffered or are suffering with this. I do not think it's as rare as the NHS make out. More support and research is needed in this area and I'm donating to the wonderful PSS charity, whose support was invaluable when no one else understood. So please, if you come across a woman suffering from this, take her seriously. She's going through hell. Support her, believe her and for God's sake... do not mention ginger!!"