Pregnant at 40 and over - thread 4

[Gizmojo]

To continue support for mums to be over 40

What a difficult time for you and your family greedy. I didn't think 4mm was that high, but I guess the medical team are trying to prepare you for the worst. How soon after the CVS do you get the results, hope you don't have to wait too long?

Really bricking it about my dating scan tomorrow now! I just had a T without G, unsurprisingly it didn't really calm my nerves.

I'm sorry you're facing this greedy but miracles can happen and I keep my fingers crossed this is yours x

pingu just remember que sera. It's got me thro all my scans x

I have had horrific pelvic pressure that I think has resulted in varicose veins in my vagina and a huge throbbing pile or two. I'm thoroughly miserable today as can barely walk and can't sit. :(

Greedy, glad to hear your DP is doing such a lovely job of being there for you, not easy for him I know. I can remember a lot of times my OH was just quiet, strong and there for me when I was hysterical with one pregnancy thing and another, and all the time he was just as scared.

Think you've done the right thing to rearrange as you say you need a lot of rest after CVS.

As Pingu says I thought 4mm was really just a fraction above the "normal" range. I understand you feel utterly despondent but perhaps you really need to just wait until the results are in from the CVS. The NT really isn't always an indicator of abnormalities or problems I have read numerous accounts of this being the case for many women. I'm rooting for you and your baby, and so hope that things turn out well, that you really do have that miracle.

I expect you're exhausted and drained. Hope you manage some sleep and rest tonight as hard as it is.

Take care x

Pingu, I've just had a T minus the G. Not quite the same is it? I've tried the closing my eyes and sniffing OHs just for a vicarious thrill but nah.....

Very best of luck for your dating scan tomorrow. Still don't know when mine is and almost 11 weeks, feels like forever as no early reassurance scan or anything. Limbo zone and nerves for what's ahead here. Please let us know how it goes x

Teabag are you on the home stretch now? Sorry I'm trying to keep up with everyone's stories and not doing so well, apologies.

I feel as though I've had piles permanently since pregnant with my daughter in 2015. I only just recovered from them then they came back, they're horrendous again now and I could cry. Talk about the Grapes of Wrath.

Hope you can get some sleep and rest through the pain x

gin I'm 29/30w so have ages to go. It's all started early for me his time /sobs/ - I get them on and off but this appeared today with the pressure and is worse than usual. I'm feeling very sorry for myself :(

Oh teabag, those last weeks are flipping awful aren't they? By the time my second child arrived I thought I was inhabiting a parallel universe of feeling lumpen and in agony. It was only punctuated by tv box sets, nectarines and chocolate when my painkillers kicked in.

You go ahead and feel sorry for yourself. You're growing a mini human you're allowed to. I'm not quite eleven weeks and I'm just unbearable already. A miserable, lethargic cow. With piles 🙈

gin for all I feel uncomfortable and moany, I think first trimester is so much worse. You have the constant cramping & stretching, the nausea and constant anxiety about it being there and then again about it disappearing for a day. I swore after dc1 that I'd never do this again but time is a great for amnesia and here I am, remembering why I left it so long.

Not good news here I'm afraid.

I had my scan today. I know it was early but had hoped it would confirm all is OK.

Unfortunately although she could see a sac on the abdominal scan there was no heartbeat. She did a vaginal scan. This time she could see a fetal pole but again no heartbeat.

I have another scan at the EPU booked for next week. I'm not hopeful though. She said that it measured 6 weeks. I'm not sure exactly of my dates as my cycles have been a bit irregular and it's hard to pin point when my periods start exactly. I know the only time we had sex that month. Based on that I think the earliest I could be is still is around 8 weeks.

Unfortunately DP is away for work at the moment so I've not been able to talk to him yet. Anyway I guess it just has to be fingers crossed but ready for the worst.

If it's measuring 6 weeks then it's rare to see any heartbeat that early. It may be you had a later ovulation than you think and a bit of a slow starter. Remember in optimum conditions sperm can survive quite a while. I don't want to give you false hope but also don't think it's over yet either. Good luck

Thanks for the optimism. I think it's very unlikely though. Based on when we had sex last, sperm lasting maybe 5 days and a long implantation time the shortest I can get to its about 7+5. The margin of error I think on early scans is about +/- 5-7 days. To still be viable and measuring 6 weeks seems very unlikely.

I kind of wish it was just over now but need to cling onto a tiny bit of hope. We're spending a long weekend with MIL and I find her company a lot more tolerable with the assistance of a couple of glasses of wine. Instead I'll have to put up with her gushy over the top concern while completely sober.

I'm really sorry Brugmansia, the waiting is very tough. I shall keep everything crossed for you.

I could also do with a proper drink, but can't bring myself to before the cvs, even though I know it's not going to be good news.

The mw I was supposed to be booking in with yesterday has just been round for a chat and a hug. She remembered me from when I had dd, even though we only met a couple of times, which I thought was impressive. She agrees that it is the nt measurement in combination with the foetus only measuring 11 weeks which is why no one expects a good outcome. I'm glad she didn't pull any punches with me.

I have stuck dd in front of a Sarah & Duck DVD and pressed 'play all'. It's not my finest parenting moment.

So much sad news, I'm so sorry brugs.

Greedy you have to do what you can to get through, I'm sure your DD thinks you are the best mummy ever

It feels slightly unfair after all this awfulness but my dating scan went well. My EDD has moved forwards a day to 28th October and the NT measurement was 1.7, but I need to wait until next week to get the full risk calculation. They have put me on 75mg aspirin and I have heaps of additional growth scans due to raised blood pressure and small baby last time. They are all in the diary already, scans every 3 weeks from early June until late September!

Brug & greedy I'm really sorry you're both having to go through this. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

My update is that I keep on having small bleeds. I've been scanned & examined & poked & prodded and everything is fine, Bump developing perfectly, but my goodness it's stressful.

Have been put back on cyclogest pessaries in the hope of stopping it. Feel like I've been taking them constantly for the past 3 years! All in a good cause I guess.

Hi Ladies,

Newbie and 1st time mum to be at the ripe old (and apparently geriatric) age of 42..... wtf is the geriatric bit about anyhoo?

Not sure how far along I am, missed my last period (3 weeks ago) and was incredibly light the one before. Frustratingly my local maternity centre won't see me until the 4th May for 1st appointment. Slightly worried that I might miss the window for some of the health tests. Is it worth going to my GP do you think?

Love this site, has already helped some of the worrying voices in my overactive mind!

ttfn

Welcome and congrats cheeky

Usually where people are uncertain of dates they'll get an early scan. You have until 14weeks for the NT measurement to retain meaning so I wouldn't worry too much.

Welcome OhSoCheekyChick
I know exactly how you feel. Pregnant with my first at 43, and I felt like a geriatric. I was very very grateful to find this group. It's keeping me sane!

I saw my GP after my first positive pregnancy test to get it confirmed. So about 2 days later. She then set the wheels in motion for the midwife, who I won't see until week 8. I asked for an early scan because of my age and my paranoia. If you can't get one on the NHS its worth going private just for reassurance and to determine if anything's wrong. I'm glad I went for mine as it identified a healthy pregnancy but an ovarian cyst that needs to be removed for the pregnancy continue. I'm currently 6 weeks. My advice is to go to your GP and start the ball rolling :)

Jackie

Good luck with your pregnancy.

Morning all, sad to report I've started miscarrying this morning. Was only early pregnancy and our first month of trying for no. 3
Hopefully I'll be back soon....
Good luck to everyone with their pregnancies :) x

Hi everyone, sorry to see people's sad news.
I am delurking to post here! I'm 40 and pregnant with 3rd baby. 14 weeks today. My 12 week scan results came back with a 1:240 chance of T21 which was a bit of a shock. I wondered what other people's results were and whether lots of that is down to age (nuchal fold was 2.1 so ok I think, bloods a bit off). Anyway I have booked in for a harmony test but just feeling generally a bit anxious. Google is not my friend!

A lot will be due to age. I mentioned up thread I'd been reading 'Expecting Better' by Emily Oster. She looks at the different tests on detail and the data. With the combined test it becomes more accurate with age identifying actual cases of Downs etc. So about 95%+. What also happens is a dramatic increase in false positives. At 40 is about 25% and increases with each year.

So it could be a false positive and you won't ultimately know without cvs or an amnio.

Hey stalphonzo sometimes it's more reassuring to look at percentage which (if I worked it out right) is around a 0.4%

Not been on in a couple of days, there's lots happening, sorry to read what some of you are going through.

Brugsmania I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your scan goes well next week. Don't give up hope just yet. Hope the MIL hasn't been too irritating at a time when you could do without it.
Disastronaut I had lots of small bleeds with my first, until about ten weeks, v scary stuff but he is three now.
Weasledee I'm really sorry to hear your sad news, how are you coping? Hope you've been getting lots of tlc.

GreedyDuck I just wanted to wish you the very best for the CVS tomorrow. How are you doing?

I'm plodding along, just feeling exhausted and grumpy. No energy an appetite. 11 weeks now and still no idea when dating scan is 😕

Congratulations to the new ladies xx

Sorry** Pingu I missed your news.
So pleased your scan went well 😊