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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant at 40 and over - thread 4

775 replies

Gizmojo · 30/03/2017 21:38

To continue support for mums to be over 40

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7
Ginlinessisnexttogodliness · 25/07/2017 21:10

I'm sorry you have had more bad news,weasle 😢
Have you had a date yet for the cvs?
Flowers

poppypopsicle · 25/07/2017 22:13

So sorry to hear your news weasledee. Hope you're getting lots of support at home and hospital and they hurry the cvs thru for you xx

Cineraria · 25/07/2017 22:34

So sorry to hear the results weren't more reassuring weasledee. I dp hope they get the CVS sorted out for you as soon as possible.

weasledee · 25/07/2017 22:55

Got scan tomorrow to see how things are and to get a CVS date for next week.... not much sleep happening tonight I imagine....
Thanks again ladies...

Monkeypuzzle32 · 26/07/2017 09:48

It's so shit weasle wish there was something we could do-take each day/hour at a time to get through it.

SleepFreeZone · 26/07/2017 10:04

So sorry weasle 😞

weasledee · 26/07/2017 12:20

Ladies, it's not good news, our baby has passed away peacefully....
We are heartbroken but we'll be ok on the long run.
We may try again but as I'm 41 time isn't on our side..
Thanks for your thoughts and well wishes...
Best of luck for the future x

Cineraria · 26/07/2017 14:50

Sorry to hear that. Thinking of you and your family and hoping the medical staff give you great care as you deal with this.

PingusMistress · 26/07/2017 14:53

Oh weasle 😥 I'm so sorry.

Monkeypuzzle32 · 26/07/2017 14:54

Aw weasle so sad, as you say peacefully, that's what you all deserve. 41 is younger than me so don't put pressure on yourself just yet

minkfondant · 26/07/2017 14:55

So sorry weasle Sad Wishing you both peace and strength. Flowers

poppypopsicle · 26/07/2017 16:19

So sad and sorry to hear this weasle. Thinking of you at this difficult time. Hope you're getting lots of support and tlc Flowers

Iusuallylovecake · 26/07/2017 20:33

So sorry weasle there are no words Flowers

weasledee · 30/07/2017 20:54

Thanks ladies, I'm doing ok...
Can I ask if any of you had a late miscarriage and did you try again?
I'm 41 and wondering if my time is up??

Monkeypuzzle32 · 30/07/2017 21:15

Weasledee don't give up-I'm older than you and there are other options, why shouldn't you try again? (unless you both decide that's it) from the sounds of it, what happened to you could have happened to anyone at any age.

minkfondant · 30/07/2017 21:17

I had a missed mc at 10 weeks @weasledee and an earlier mc - not in the same circumstances, but my mmc was after a good heartbeat on earlier scan. I'm older than you (43) and 6w pregnant. No idea if it is viable yet (early scan tomorrow), but it's reassuring that it is possible to keep conceiving 40+, which is half the battle.
Really don't think you're out of time. Flowers

SleepFreeZone · 30/07/2017 21:34

Everything crossed mink

I ended up having a scan on Friday at 11 weeks as I had severe pains. Everything looks ok but my dating scan is in two weeks time and then I'm going to have the Harmony done.

weasledee · 30/07/2017 21:53

Thanks for the reassurance ladies, it's going to be difficult to stop thinking "oh I should have 15, 20 25 etc weeks by now..." I think we will try again but just hope people don't think I'm daft after everything that has happened!
Good luck Mink!

Cineraria · 30/07/2017 22:18

Not very late, Weasle but my first pregnancy ended about a week after the twelve week scan. We knew from the scan that the baby wouldn't survive much longer as it was extremely damaged by Amniotic Band Syndrome, so much so that they assumed there was a chromosomal disorder was also present due to the baby's head appearance on the scan but testing after delivery showed that wasn't so. That was seven months before I turned forty.

Although my period started again quite soon, I felt that my body took quite a while to get back to normal (I didn't seem to produce fertile type cervical mucus) and the first month it did feel normal, I conceived our son and found out a week before I turned forty. The experience did affect how I felt during that pregnancy as I didn't feel able to love the baby until he was born unlike the first one, who I felt I loved a lot whilst pregnant.

I also had an earlyish mmc agreed 41 when he was 10 months old and again needed surgery but because I was still breastfeeding, it was several months before I even had a period and then I wondered if I'd ever have a second child but actually conceived (the current baby) fairly quickly, a month or two after, and found out on my 42nd birthday. One of the leaflets the hospital on that second occasion gave me included the statistic that sadly forty per cent of pregnancies in women over forty end in miscarriage, and somehow that helped me to accept that what happened to me was normal for my age and that there wasn't a problem that should affect me trying again.

If you do want to keep trying, don't let your age stop you and try expect it might take a while (that way if it is quick, it's a bonus but if it isn't, you feel that's what's expected). Also remember it's normal if you feel differently about ttc or about your next pregnancy.

I hope that whatever type of care you are receiving now, the medical staff you see are as kind and supportive as those who attended me.

weasledee · 30/07/2017 23:09

Cineraria, thank you for that uplifting reply. It's early days for me but I feel like a mum of three now, even though no. 3 wasn't to be this time. I've always been lucky at conceiving first time, even with this one and being 41. I can only hope we will be that fornicate again. I do agree though that if it does work I won't enjoy a single day of it, I know that now! And yes the hospital staff have been great, nothing has been too much trouble for them and family/close friends have been great too x

weasledee · 30/07/2017 23:10

Fortunate!! Not fornicate!!! What an unfortunate auto correct!!!! :)

Monkeypuzzle32 · 31/07/2017 06:21

At least here you will get real 'been there done it' advice Weasledee rather than platitudes so hopefully that will help-have the hospital said anything about why it was likely to have happened or is it just down to the unexplained?

minkfondant · 31/07/2017 10:41

Had early scan this morning at EPU. Sac and yolk sac in the uterus, but no sign of an embryo. Should be 6w2d Sad They said not to worry yet & will rescan next week, and maybe dates are wrong etc... but my dates are spot on I'm sure. Guess it's not looking good.

Hope everyone's doing ok this morning. Sleep Glad your scan was good. Let us know how the Harmony goes. If mine miraculously progresses, I'll book one too.

SleepFreeZone · 31/07/2017 11:26

Oh mink I'm sorry that wasn't more clear cut. Was it an internal scan? God I hate limbo land while your waiting for results. I have everything crossed for you that your next scan shows everything as it should be 💐💐

PingusMistress · 31/07/2017 21:08

@weasledee that typo made me smile! 
As others have said I think this thread is proof that it isn't too late to try again, but it might be difficult and take a longer time. So give yourself time to grieve for your little one and get strong emotionally so that you can cope if you have a few cycles of disappointment. Wishing you lots of luck 

@minkfondant sorry that your scan left you without a clear answer. Hope you get better news at your rescan next week.

I'm officially in the third trimester now. The first trimester seemed to last about 13 years, the second more like 13 days! I have a scan on Thursday. It was originally booked as a growth scan but they will have a good look at the little man's left foot talipes that was diagnosed at the 20 week scan. I'm really nervous about what else they might find.