Pregnant at 40 and over - thread 4

[Gizmojo]

To continue support for mums to be over 40

Good luck cake, hope it all goes well for you!

And congrats weasledee! You must be so happy, despite the awful nausea.

I'm sitting here (getting fatter by the day) wanted to get some advice on how often I should be scanned. I'm 42 and my test results and Nuchal scan have all come back ok. The hospital offered me a 16 week scan with a consultant but now the consultant has said I am low risk and has booked my 20 and 28 week scan with a sonographer. Has anyone else had more scans either on the NHS or privately? I'm just worried because its my first child and I won't know if something is awry so wondered if extra scanning was the best way forward.

And I also wanted to ask if anyone on this thread had opted for an elective c-section via the NHS and been granted one? Thoughts on whether its better than taking the plunge and trying for a natural birth?

Hey gizmojo I've 13 days until section but suspected OC so may end up going earlier. The BH are more often now but I'm used to them, I've been getting twinges in my lower back too, eek

How are you getting on @gizmojo

Hi shortbread, I had an EC last time but that's only because I had a difficult birth with my first. I have to say that even though the CS was not remotely scary for me I'm glad that I've experience natural child birth. I think the NHS from my friends experience aren't too keen on electives for a first birth unless of course there is a medical reason.

Hi everyone,

Please can I join in? I just had my 40th Birthday last week and have just found out that I'm 4/5 weeks preggers this morning. So can't really share any excitement with anyone either 😲

I have a DS 17, DS 15 and DS 2 and have been TTC for 16 months.

The test result has been a total shock as I thought that I'd 'know' I was pregnant. Obviously didn't and I'm petrified of the morning sickness to come 😩, as I usually get it quite bad.

Anyway thanks for listening 👂

@Iusuallylovecake hurrah!
Your boy is just like my girl, she turned on D day 😊

Best of luck with the induction, and hope you soon have your son in your arms xx

@weasledee glad all is well, even though the sickness is shit 😊

@Shortbread74 glad your results were low risk, another hurdle over!

I had my first at your age and I had a great labour and delivery, he was 8.5lbs at 41 weeks. I think being "granted" an ECS depends on a fair few things, so best to explore your options, and of course it may all depends on baby's position, placenta position, all sorts of things etc.

@Teabagtits hope it's not OC and that things go smoothly on the final hurdle, please keep us posted.

Congrats @mishmash33 😊

Well I'm almost 18'weeks now and have a proper bump. Sickness stopped almost but crushing headaches still and very low ferritin which is making iron injections look likely. I'm getting little kicks and lots of flutters / taps now. Exciting stuff.
Anomaly scan at 21+2 after our holiday, that the next hurdle keeping me awake at night.

Hi @Shortbread74 and congrats! I found out I was expecting the night before my 40th, and baby is now 4 weeks old, having been delivered by ECS at 38 weeks. This was my only option, having placenta preavia, GD, (and a baby sitting upright!). Whilst some women openly prefer CS to vaginal delivery, I have to say my recovery is slow and not free of complications. Unless medically necessary, I would personally prefer to try for a non surgical birth - if you're low risk the recovery can be faster, and being physically wrecked is super hard with a newborn to care for, especially if it's your first and you don't know what you're doing (That's Me!)

That said there are positives- no exhausting labour, no possibility of tearing, etc, but it can bruise you inside just like a regular delivery, and i've has a repeated (and painful) UTI since so it's by no means an easy option.
Hope this doesn't sound negative, just wanted to share my recent learnings.

Oh and re: extra scans- yes I had 2 extra early on with the Harmony (11 & 13 weeks), and booked an 18 week reassurance scan privately as my 20 week date was on New Year's Day and my NHS 20 week scan was going to be held late at 21.5 weeks. I knew I couldn't relax over Christmas without knowing things were ok so dropped for one before.
Other than that my (high risk) schedule of scans was 20 (late), 28, 32 & 35 on the NHS. I ended up having another at 37 when he threatens to arrive before the CS date!

Wishing you fantastic luck for the rest of your pregnancy!

Hope the induction went/is going well @Iusuallylovecake ! How exciting!

And welcome @mishmash33 , you can share your excitement with us, congratulations.

So we had our 20 week scan yesterday and it was mixed news. We are having a boy (ooh, new experience!) and he is growing well and all looks fine internally. But he has been diagnosed with an "isolated left foot talipes" which means his foot turns in from the ankle at the wrong angle. Had a discussion with the consultant who suggested it could be corrected with a course of intense physiotherapy from when baby is a few days old, although subsequent googling suggests it often involves more intervention including plaster casts and special boots and operations over a few months or years. But the good news is that most babies with it fully recover and walk normally.

So me and DH are swinging from being relieved it is nothing more serious and it is treatable, to being sad that baby will have to go through the treatment, to being scared that there are more things wrong and this is just the first sign. DH said he felt guilty that it was our fault for having a baby at our age, but I can't find anything that suggests it is age related. In a way I wish we didn't know as there is nothing we can do and we will just worry for the next four months!

Sorry to burden you all with this but it is obviously playing on my mind.

DD (just turned 3) cheered us up though. We brought her in at the end of the scan and told her she was having a baby brother, she was so excited! Then as we left the waiting room she said "Mummy, has the baby come out yet?" Which made everyone laugh. We took her for lunch after and when the waitress asked what she wanted to eat she said "My mummy has got a baby in her tummy!"

Weasledee, Gin and Mightymouse, thank you all for coming back to me so quickly and candidly.

I'm sorry to hear you are in so much discomfort now Mightmouse. Having suffered UTI before I know how awful it can be and to have that along with the pain post surgery and sleepless nights must be torture....
I'm also going to follow your lead and pay for the extra scans privately.

I think based on your experiences ECS something I need to think about carefully and I need to attend some birth choices groups at my hospital before I decide which way to go. The reasons I wanted to ask for an ECS are because I'd read statistics about women over 40 needing forceps or an emergency CS 50% of the time and the risk of incontinence post natural childbirth. Even before I was pregnant I was going to the loo as often as my 90 year old grandma:) I'd also read that most female doctors and obstetricians opt for an ECS. But I think statistics are possibly just that and real experiences (like yours) are more useful.

Gin, I think we are about a week apart! I am 17 weeks on Sunday. Like you I am now awaiting my 20 week scan and feeling anxious about it. I haven't told anyone at work about my pregnancy yet and am dressed in tent like outfits most of the time. But I think the game's up because a man who sometimes asks me for change on the way home said yesterday 'Oh I don't feel right asking you anymore because you're pregnant, and I never ask pregnant ladies for money. good luck with the baby'...

Have a good weekend all

Pingus, I was typing my message when your came in. I'm sorry, it must be stressful to hear this but my husband was born with the same condition and had the plaster casts and some surgery. By the age of 2 his treatment stopped and he went on to play football, cricket, badminton etc and didn't have further issues. Also his mum was 26 when she conceived him so the age thing may not be the cause...Probably not a great deal of comfort but thought I'd share this.

Thank you @Shortbread74 , that does help!

Hi pingus, my first son was born with this, his right foot. He had physio for a few months, really gentle exercises that we did at home. He walked fine and he's 6 now and you'd never know! In fact, until I read your post I'd forgotten he'd had it! :)

@pingus I looked after a baby with this condition. He was in leg cast changed weekly and they minipulated foot each time. Had op few months later and now at 1yr is walking normally

@shortbread. I had scans every 3w from think 20w due to age ivf etc

But we also paid for private few times for reassurance and 16/30 3D scans

Morning all, just been catching up on posts while sat up cuddling a beautiful baby boy!! We made it! Was booked in for c section but on the morning, guess what, he'd turned so one natural birth here he is!

@iusuallylovecake - huge congratulations! He is gorgeous . He clearly wanted to make his own entrance into the world and surprise you! Fantastic news to read this morning! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Well done xxx

Congrats cake! He's lovely

Hi guys, I'm 42, still breast feeding my 17 month old, have a 4 year old and am 4 weeks pregnant (got my BFP last week). We were trying but not expecting anything.

I have three miscarriages in between my successful pregnancies so I have to say I'm not at all hopeful about this one. I have zero symptoms and have mentally decided to just wait for my period basically if that makes sense. I want to be wrong but I've got to protect myself.

Cake that is the most adorable picture ever 💗💗💗💗😍

Congratulations Sleep :)

@sleepfreezone - that's exactly how I felt! But 14 weeks later the tampax remains undisturbed and so far we're still in the running. It's good to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Really hope your BFP turns into many more positives for you