Afternoon ladies, I've had a quick skim through the last 48hrs of posts, sorry the sickness is making some of you feel so poorly 😷
tillums I'm in the swansea area... are you nearby? Drop me an inbox if you like xx
The funeral I went to was lovely, very sad of course but so nice to see family we haven't seen for years, cousins who were babies when I saw them last and the lady who passed away would have loved seeing us all together eating, talking and sharing memories. It was a difficult day but we have such a lovely family 🌺
As for me, I think this will be my last post on this board for a while. I started absolutely flooding yesterday girlies, and have been in absolute agony with cramps ever since.
After the first couple of days of brown spotting, and then a day of nothing, I did foolishly think I was still in with a chance, even with the dodgy hcg levels, I clutched that straw like there was no tomorrow.
But the tomorrow came, and with it came bright red heavy blood which is literally dripping from me. I'm so sorry to be so detailed. I'm absolutely heartbroken and feel like my future has been ripped away from me. I can't look my hubs in the eye although I know he doesn't blame me, it hurts me more that he's putting on such a brave face while I'm a hysterical mess.
Not gonna lie, it's been an awful couple of days with the long journey as well. I'm now in bed still in agony and just praying this is the worst bit and will soon be over. Stomach pains are like the worst period pains you can imagine, I've been curled up crying covered in goosepimples. You don't get warned about this shizzle. I feel wretched.
I've got a scan Monday at 11 which I've no doubt is going to confirm what's going on. If the pain gets much worse I may ring nhs direct for advice later coz although they haven't seemed overly concerned about ectopic, they also have not definitely ruled it out because they couldn't see anything in my sac, which meant they couldn't confirm it was implanted in the right place.
So I just wanted to thank you all so much for your kindest and most lovely words of support. You are a fab bunch and I wish you all the safest, healthiest and happiest of pregnancies and the most beautiful and healthiest babies 💕
I will be back on the ttc boards soon, and will always have the same name so keep an eye out for me in the future. I need to take a few days to get my head together and sort myself out, physically and mentally. I was born to be a mum and I will try again. But this first time, this little seed just wasn't meant to be.
Lots of love and luck to you all xxx