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Pregnancy

Poll: How many of your antenatal appointments did your SO attend?

150 replies

BeanBabies · 06/03/2017 22:35

My partner and I were just discussing what other couples might experience when it comes to antenatal appointments.

How many of yours did your partner go to? All? More than half?


If they didn't attend them all, why?

This includes any pregnancy related appointments, even if it's not with your midwife.

OP posts:
RhinestoneCowgirl · 07/03/2017 22:53

It was a while ago but think DH came to 20 week scan with DS and that was it (12 week wasn't offered at time). He also was there at 36 week antenatal visit, at home because we were planning home birth.

We did do NCT antenatal classes though. And he came to a yoga birth prep thing. And went to a homebirth meethup...

SpaceDinosaur · 07/03/2017 23:02

DH came to the doctors for the booking in.
Then the first scan
Then most of the midwife appts (she came to our home and he just juggled his shifts so he was about)
Then the 20week scan
Then most of the other appts.

Towards the end I wound up in hospital a lot with increasing pre eclampsia symptoms. I got so used to it I told him to go to work as I would be fine. But I knew that if I needed him he would be there in a heartbeat so the day I was told "yup, pre eclampsia we're going to induce you today" he was there faster than should have been possible!

Sparrowlegs248 · 07/03/2017 23:10

With Ds1, both scans. With Ds2, none (couldn't make first scan, second rescheduled at short notice)

I was happy going to the other appointment s alone

LGY1 · 08/03/2017 13:08

Im 22 weeks and he has come to all of them (scans and midwife)
Although i think the midwife appointments will be pretty routine from now so i would probably tell him not to bother - apart from the fact i got made redundant & lost my company car so he is currently driving me around!
He has a flexible job so he may as well tag along!

peaceloveandbiscuits · 08/03/2017 13:54

First pregnancy- booking, 12 week scan, 20 week scan, growth scan, all consultant appointments and occasionally ordinary midwife appointments if he was around.

Second pregnancy- 12 week scan and 20 week scan Grin

DappledThings · 08/03/2017 14:08

Just scans until my appt at 41+3 as I knew they would want me to make a decision about induction and I wanted him there to back me up in case I felt pressured to go along with anything I didn't want to.

Would have felt very silly and pointless having him along for the 5 minutes of urine check, blood pressure check, questions about generally feeling fine and back out the door that he other appts were. And that's with him working in the same hospital and able to pop out if I'd wanted him to.

MissMooMoo · 08/03/2017 14:23

He has come to the 12 week scan and 20 week scan. Have a scan at 33 weeks to check placenta position and I have booked the last appt of the day as he wants to try and come.
He also came to my 28 week appt as it was on a Saturday.
Next appt is also on a sat but I've told him he doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to, they are so quick and a bit boring apart from the heartbeat!

Mummyme87 · 08/03/2017 16:31

He came to a 6week, Nuchal, anomaly and 36week scan. Didn't need him to come to my midwife appts...

Winniethepooer · 08/03/2017 16:38

Last baby just 20 week scan.

Pitchforktotheface · 08/03/2017 18:02

The scans and one appointment where we thought they were going to tell us something was wrong.

MyMrKnightley · 08/03/2017 22:03

Scans and first sweep because it happened on the weekend so he was off and I didn't fancy driving.

BeaRulez · 09/03/2017 11:47

All of them, he wanted me to feel supported and be involved with everything to do with the baby

Lemondrop09 · 09/03/2017 11:59

He came to the midwife booking appointment and my early EPU scan at 8 weeks. He will come to both the normal scans. He'd also come to all other appointments if I wanted him to, but I don't think it's worth him taking time off work so told him not to come unless he really wants to.

ButterflyFree · 09/03/2017 12:27

My husband has been to all appointments and scans so far (it's our first baby and I'm currently 19 weeks - I've already had A LOT of appointments ๐Ÿ˜…), but he always comments on how few other husbands we see accompanying their wives at the hospital (which is a large, private maternity hospital). Most of the expectant ladies we see in the waiting room are sitting alone or with a female family member for company.

I'm a British expat in Dubai (DH is Emirati), so perhaps it is a cultural thing that most of the Emirati husbands don't seem to attend with their wives. But I'm very happy that my husband always asks for my appointments to be scheduled at a time when he is not at work so he's able to be there with me.

duxb · 09/03/2017 12:29

My OH came to the 12 week and 20 week scan.

I had a growth scan that he didn't attend, nor did he attend any appointments with my midwife.

He only visited twice a day when I was being induced - didn't feel the need for us both to be shattered when it came to my actual labour!

It's a personal decision but they often run late and there work doesn't have to allow them the time off for the appointments so it's best to save any time to add onto paternity leave in my experience.

mum2be2boys · 09/03/2017 14:48

My husband has come to both scans and one midwife appointment.

He's a teacher but his head agreed to arrange cover so he could come to the scans, and he happened to be on half term holiday for one of my midwife appointments so he came along because he could (he sat in the corner for the whole appointment, but did enjoy listening to the heart beat!)

He won't be able to come to any more appointments as none are due to fall in holiday time. Next 'thing' he will come to is the birth!!

TowerRingInferno · 09/03/2017 14:58

None at all. 3 pregnancies, 1 with lots of issues that involved many scans.

He either couldn't get time off work or stayed at home with the younger dc.

Really didn't bother me at the time, yet I feel a bit sad with hindsight. I wish he'd wanted to be there.

BlueSpottyTiger · 09/03/2017 15:02

All scan appointments routine & private
And he missed 2 mw appointments as he was working! Bit attended the important ones like first heartbeat.. booking in ect.
Came with me when i had to attend 2 trips to hospital for emergencies!?
We he didn't go to the two my mum came with me as i had them both at the birth :)

ighinici · 09/03/2017 20:59

so far, i'm only having him for the scans. the other appointments, it's basically me getting weighed and my blood pressure/urine getting tested. so i didn't consider it to be useful for any of us if he took time off from work for the regular prenatal check-ups.

katand2kits · 09/03/2017 21:02

Only the ones at the hospital. I was under consultant led care, so I had a number of extra scans, and he came to all of those. He did not come to any community midwife appointments as it was a bit of a waste of his time taking time off to watch someone test my urine and blood pressure.

katand2kits · 09/03/2017 21:03

I wouldn't even say it's worth their while taking time off to attend the booking in appointment, unless they enjoy watching you fill out paperwork.

NameChange30 · 09/03/2017 21:05

Yep my thoughts exactly re booking in.
I just asked DH beforehand if there were any medical conditions in his family that I didn't already know about and might be relevant.

Mumtobe12 · 09/03/2017 21:07

I'm lucky my DH works sleep in nights so doesn't have to take time off. He attended all appointments and scans he loves being a part of it and has chosen to do it all, loves hearing heartbeat each time and knowing all going well Smile

user1488788454 · 10/03/2017 07:43

This our first baby and my partner wanted to be at every appointment to make him feel more involved but now he knows what happens, he's not as bothered if he misses one of the routine check-ups with midwife ๐Ÿ˜Š

Lalalax3 · 10/03/2017 07:53

My husband would be absolutely bored rigid at anything other than the scans, so that's all he's ever been to. My 2 yo DS, however, will be present at every appointment whether he likes it or not!

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