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Poll: How many of your antenatal appointments did your SO attend?

150 replies

BeanBabies · 06/03/2017 22:35

My partner and I were just discussing what other couples might experience when it comes to antenatal appointments.

How many of yours did your partner go to? All? More than half?

If they didn't attend them all, why?

This includes any pregnancy related appointments, even if it's not with your midwife.

OP posts:
EskSmith · 06/03/2017 23:13

Dd1, both scans. Dd2 only same12 & 20 week scans (but none of the weekly scans I had due to PE with dd1)

EskSmith · 06/03/2017 23:13

Dd1, both scans. Dd2 only same12 & 20 week scans (but none of the weekly scans I had due to PE with dd1)

kathrynelizabeth3005 · 06/03/2017 23:15

First pregnancy here, DH came to my booking appointment and then my 16 week midwife appointment just because it fell on a day off. We had a private scan at 16 weeks that he came to as he couldn't make it to the 12 week scan due to work commitments, and he managed to come to the 20 week scan.

Everything else seemed a bit unnecessary for him to tag along. I'm consultant led and have had so many problems whilst pregnant so lots of appointments at the Haematology dept as well as Antenatal and besides not needing him there, it was impractical for him to be taking time of work literally every week for appointments!

elliejjtiny · 06/03/2017 23:16

Dh came to the 12 and 20 week scans with all of mine. Plus a couple of other appointments when he was on annual leave anyway. I did the rest by myself, scans, consultant and midwife. I went for monitoring in the maternity assessment unit without dh and with my 3 and 1 year olds in tow (never again!)

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer · 06/03/2017 23:19

Scan at epu and then normal 12 and 20 week scans.
He was a bit upset to have missed the mw app when I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time but would have been bored silly at most of them.

MommaGee · 06/03/2017 23:24

12, 20 and 28 week scans. I also had 30, 32 and 34 - he didn't attend all of these as the were growth scans and there were no major worries. He attended 1 midwife appt, there wasn't really much point. baby came at 35 weeks but i imagine of the 36 and 38 weeks ones he'd have come to the last one. he isn;t close to the hospital and they were always middle of the day so he essentially lost a whole day

Womble75 · 06/03/2017 23:29

DD1 12w and 20w scan

Current pregnancy 7w early scan as had 5 mc's after DD1,12&20w scans. Didn't come to 28w and 32w growth scans. Came to my consultant appt and will be with me for my 2nd visit to
DAU this week but only as we are discussing early induction and I've been quite ill. Didn't come to any midwife or consultant midwife appts as really no need. Would come if I needed him though.

ScarletSienna · 06/03/2017 23:32

Scans and hospital monitoring. The standard midwife appts - no.

BeanBabies · 06/03/2017 23:32

Just thought I would share;

My partner has been to all, including the blood test with my GP to confirm I was pregnant. My consultation with the midwife before we decided to go with the hospital, my emergency appointment in America (saw spotting) and booking appointment. All midwife appointments and scans too.

Luckily he works with a small team of the C-level individuals so they're understanding when he cancels meetings or rearranges things around our appointments. He can set the pace which is very helpful.

OP posts:
MargaretCabbage · 06/03/2017 23:40

With my first baby he came to most of them, as he worked near to my GP surgery and could take his lunch break to come with me. I didn't need him there, but he was very excited about it all and wanted to hear the heartbeat.

In my second pregnancy he just came to the scans, as he was working further away and it wasn't practical/he was looking after DS. I think he would have liked to come if he was able to though.

DramaAlpaca · 06/03/2017 23:48

DH only came to the 20 week scans with all three of ours.

Mustbeinsane1984 · 06/03/2017 23:54

All appointments as he would get the time free from work, so why not! Has made him feel more involved in everything and appreciate what women go through to have children :)

FiveMinutesAlone · 06/03/2017 23:54

3 pregnancies here.

First one, DH came to 12 week and 20 week scans, plus a scan at 13 weeks and a hospital check up at 36 weeks. The appointments at 13 and 36 weeks were related to potential complications rather than routine things.

Second and third pregnancies, DH just came to the 12 and 20 week scans.

It's just wasn't possible for him to easily get time off work for my antenatal appointments, so we prioritised him being at what we considered to be the most important appointments.

LottieL · 06/03/2017 23:54

All scans and one midwife appointment (as we were both off that day). I didn't see the point in him coming to midwife appointments really!

Hollyhop17 · 07/03/2017 06:57

I've always been surprised on here when this topic comes up that DHs dont seem to come to many appointments, but reading this thread, perhaps we are in the minority! He has come to every single appt and will continue to do so. It is our first and we are equally excited. He wouldnt want to miss out on hearing the heartbeat at the mw appts! Perhaps he would come to less if pregnant again, but I love having him there

Freshprincess · 07/03/2017 07:07

I had twins so lots of scans, and appointments.
He came to all but one of the scans, and every consultant appointment. I saw the midwife once a week from 20 weeks, but he didn't come to those. They were blood pressure and wee checks, so pretty boring. I'd have skipped them myself if I could. Smile
If I had only had 2 scans and a handful of appointments he'd probably would Havd come to them all.

Lules · 07/03/2017 07:08

He came to 5/6 scans. No midwife appointments apart from to keep me company during the wait during the GTT as he was off work. Wouldn't have wanted him to come to the others. I saw them as medical appointments for me.

OhTheRoses · 07/03/2017 07:08

DS1, 12 week scan
DS2, consultant apt after 20 week scan identified significant issues - went into labour at 27 weeks and he couldn't get there in time
DD, 12 and 20 week scans because I couldn't face them alone.

I don't understand why people can't attend alone? DH has a job to do.

NerrSnerr · 07/03/2017 07:11

I am currently 34 weeks. My husband has come to two out of three scans and the consultant appointment. He'll also come to my C section pre op, probably. That's depending on work and childcare.

dylsmimi · 07/03/2017 07:16

Just the scans for all 3 pregnancies
Although with ds3 we were going out for the day so DH, and ds 1 & 2 came in at the end of the routine appointment to hear the baby's heartbeat which was lovely but only because the appointment was on the way to somewhere more exciting!!
DH would always ask how it went or I would send a little text to say 'all fine' but didn't need time off to see my wee being tested and blood pressure taken!

eurochick · 07/03/2017 07:18

Most of the scans (I had lots), none of the midwife appointments, most of the consultant appointments towards the end and critical decisions were being taken about timing delivery.

dylsmimi · 07/03/2017 07:18

When they all came to the appointment I was very very pregnant so knew would hear the heartbeat clearly and did ask the midwife first before everyone came in ! Ds were told they might not be able to and were fine with that

Bobowhite · 07/03/2017 07:21

With DD1 he came to all the scans and a couple of consultant appointments, then was there throughout the induction and birth.
I'm pregnant with DD2 and so far he's come to every scan aside from the 20 week due to work commitments but I'm having extra growth scans so he will go to those. I had an episode of bleeding at 13 weeks and he did come to the emergency appointment.

Basicbrown · 07/03/2017 07:21

Just the scans. It never occurred to me to take him to MW appointments.

I remember with dd2 I had a consultant appointment (it was about something that had resolved so it was unnecessary really so DH was hardly going to take time off work) and I was the only woman there alone.

HelenaJustina · 07/03/2017 07:24

4 births, DH came to maybe 1 or 2 scans per pregnancy (I had min 3 per baby)

All other appointments I went to on my own (often with toddlers in tow)

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