Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Fed is Best!!!!!!

848 replies

HotDawg123 · 26/02/2017 20:58

If you choose to breast feed - good for you
If you choose to bottle feed - good for you
But if you choose to be a breast feeding warrior and look at those who choose to bottle feed as scum then I hope you slip in dog shit tomorrow.

The amount of horrible women I've come across who are like this is too many now. And as I am heavily pregnant and have hormone rage it is really pissing me off.

Thank you for listening.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
raviolidreaming · 27/02/2017 10:24

Incidentally, I cried for days with guilt.

skerrywind · 27/02/2017 10:27

I agree, breastfeeding shouldn't be seen a "lovely" or "amazing", I would rather that it is viewed as biologically normal..

dontbesillyhenry · 27/02/2017 10:28

Kardashian person (ironic seeing as you seem so hard of thought) have you really just compared McDonalds and microwave meals with formula?
No formula is not as good as breast but your comparison is utterly senseless

DianaMemorialJam · 27/02/2017 10:28

No one is saying it isn't biologically normal. Just not everyone wants to do it.

Breastfeeding a three year old to me is amazing, because I wouldn't have the patience or commitment to do it.

MommaGee · 27/02/2017 10:31

I tube fed mine, people universally feel to awkward to enquire what kind of milk it was

SciFiFan2015 · 27/02/2017 10:32

I bf, but only managed to do so because I combine fed both children; the first for 6 weeks, the second for 10 weeks.
I'm glad I had the choice and the privilege to do so.
My wish is that every mother had the support they wanted to bf and that artificial formula was taken away from companies who seek to make profit from it. Artificial formula should be made by one company who aim to make it the best product they possibly can. It should then be given free to families that need it (I know this is a pipe dream! Still my wish though!)
I also wish that donor banks and wet nursing were more common.
Bf is the biological norm but I sure am glad I live in a time where there is formula.
Still the mothers choice but more knowledge, more education, more research and more support would help everyone make the right decision for them!
I sometimes wonder if the fab feeling that many (not all) women get from bf-ing is what turns them into such ardent campaigners for it? After my first few weeks of absolute hell I was a big fan.
Breast feeding should be made better with more support, FF should be made better with more research and a better product.
All parents should support each other without thinking about feeding choices.
IDIC!

skerrywind · 27/02/2017 10:32

*Breastfeeding a three year old to me is amazing, because I wouldn't have the patience or commitment to do it.
*

That's an outsider's view though.

Breastfeeding a 3 year old often requires neither of these attributes.

Joyofscreamingjoy · 27/02/2017 10:32

This is an interesting read with views from 'both sides'. I don't think it will offend anyone and hopefully make everyone (whatever their choice of feeding) feel less defensive/judged 🙂
www.calmfamily.org/blog/fed-is-best

neonrainbow · 27/02/2017 10:32

Thanks for your post on the early pages Fartniss.

I couldn't breastfeed my prem twins. I had a traumatic birth at 29 weeks with an EMCS under general anaesthetic, a long stay in NICU, and a mistake by a nurse at the hospital with the pump equipment which led to me being injured. I tried so hard but my milk never came in and the babies were too small to latch properly. I was exhausted, in pain and stressed and ended up crying with frustration because my baby couldn't latch so i decided we were going to exclusive FF. I was expressing hardly anything but kept going for 3 weeks. I feel guilty and upset that i couldnt breastfeed and i think it's really unfair that people say stupid stuff like "fed isn't best" without thinking about what some people have experienced which has led to them giving formula.

I don't regret choosing to FF because my mental and physical health was at stake. Im very familiar with the phrase breast is best which is something i heard 10 times a day in hospital, but my children are thriving on formula so yeah...fed is actually best.

I also agree that what babies eat after they're weaned is far more important.

DianaMemorialJam · 27/02/2017 10:35

I'm an outsider now?! Great wording there skerry.

I would have thought the fact that being a female human lactating for 3 years does take a bit of commitment. The early months take patience and resilience. By 3 years, I have seen it with family members that weaning a toddler off the boob can be a hard slog.

So yes, actually, I would say they are attributes. But what the fucking fuck do I know eh.

neonrainbow · 27/02/2017 10:35

I was told by the nurses in NICU that donor milk is so pasteurised that there's basically little nutritional value in it. The benefit being that its easier to digest. Its not the same as your own milk with all its advantages.

annlee3817 · 27/02/2017 10:36

I don't care how someone feeds their baby, breast or formula. I was lucky in that I had excellent post natal support in hospital and had a breastfeeding midwife come to see me at home when I was out of hospital and support through the nct breastfeeding person, who also showed good positions for bottle feeding, how often to feed and rough ideas on amounts. So I was pretty lucky really, and was able to breastfeed for 8 months. My DD then went onto formula and turned out to have an allergy, so is now dairy free. I have friends that have combi fed, just bottle fed and just breastfed, as long as mum and baby are happy then that's the most important thing. It's a shame that this thread has turned into a bit of a row.

skerrywind · 27/02/2017 10:36

diana you are patronising.

I have met hundreds of women breastfeeding 3 year olds- most of them would laugh at your comments.

ICJump · 27/02/2017 10:37

The NICU nurses didn't have up to date into it's widely used in Brazil and is part of the reason they have reduce infant mortality.

DianaMemorialJam · 27/02/2017 10:38

ok then skerry breastfeeding, weaning and all it entails is extremely easy. I'm wrong. Is that what you want to hear? But like you said, I'm an outsider, I don't have a clue.

I really hope you don't have access to vulnerable mothers. Your attitude stinks.

ICJump · 27/02/2017 10:39

I'm feeding a 2 year old. It's easier than weaning him. I fed my eldest til almost 4 or 5. The last feeds were so few and far between it's hard to tell when it ended.

DianaMemorialJam · 27/02/2017 10:40

I don't see why my having respect and thinking women that breastfeed is a bad thing. Like I said, after seeing my other brothers wife trying to get her 2,5 yr old off the boob was a pita. She was brilliant.

DianaMemorialJam · 27/02/2017 10:41

That was supposed to say 'seeing women that breastfeed as amazing'

AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads · 27/02/2017 10:49

Thanks diana. I wasn't talking specifically about you calling people smug, it's something I've seen a few times on these threads. Ignore my ranting Grin

On a very serious note though, how fucking expensive is formula?! I feel this point can get lost during these discussions whilst we're all too busy defending our own choices/circumstances.

kardashianlove · 27/02/2017 10:49

You can't get much more processed than formula.
Comparing processed food to formula is more logical than comparing formula to breastmilk.

If people want to use formula that is up to them but to say 'fed is best' is factually incorrect.

It's sad that so many people who want to breastfeed get such poor advice from HCP and many are 'forced' or misadvised into giving formula when they don't want to. It's such a pity there isn't more support out there.

DianaMemorialJam · 27/02/2017 10:51

All despite me being called an 'outsider', I do think it's amazing. Like I have said, I have two sister in laws one just stopped bf and one is 6 weeks in. They have both worked amazingly hard at it. Sil1 had early problems with establishing 'supply' etc. Sil2 is struggling with pain and mastitis. I am extremely proud of both of them. I stand by my opinion that is is great.

DianaMemorialJam · 27/02/2017 10:52

The formula I buy is £9 a time, go through about 1.5 packs a week 😬

ICJump · 27/02/2017 10:55

I guess I don't feel it's noteworthy. I know it's good for my child but so is given home a carrot or teaching him to throw a ball.
I guess it's like pregnancy it's both extrondinary and utterly ordinary.

AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads · 27/02/2017 10:59

I do believe it's amazing to continue when you're really struggling. I think for most women it does get easier after a few weeks (and again after a few months, and a few more...) but if it hadn't been for a wonderful MW who told me not to give a shit about the clock and if baby is hungry after an hour and a half then so what, she's hungry I probably wouldn't have continued anywhere near as long as I did. I had family members asking me when I was stopping when she was 3 days old.

Without wanting to sound like a 'warrior' Wink pain issues at 6 weeks could be due to a tongue or lip tie. I'm no expert but if there are any local peer supporters to your SIL it may be worth getting some advice/help. Ignore me if this is useless advice Smile

skerrywind · 27/02/2017 11:00

By viewing breastfeeding as extraordinary we emphasise the idea that it is not ordinary, it is something special, difficult, superhuman, unusual.

I would prefer it to be ordinary, usual, mundane and so common that we don't need to award medals to those who "manage" to do it as if it takes super powers.

Breastfeeding has been made difficult because of formula use.