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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Fed is Best!!!!!!

848 replies

HotDawg123 · 26/02/2017 20:58

If you choose to breast feed - good for you
If you choose to bottle feed - good for you
But if you choose to be a breast feeding warrior and look at those who choose to bottle feed as scum then I hope you slip in dog shit tomorrow.

The amount of horrible women I've come across who are like this is too many now. And as I am heavily pregnant and have hormone rage it is really pissing me off.

Thank you for listening.

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OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 28/02/2017 21:37

Demanding that infant feeding specialists (assuming they are a thing), lactation consultants etc help formula feeding mums isn't the answer. They're stretched enough trying to get people breastfeeding in the first place.

Better postnatal mental health care for mums who struggle with the guilt of not being able to breastfeed (I know this was a huge factor in my PND). Much better. Actual, dedicated postnatal mental health services.

If mums are feeling lonely, the HV needs to signpost them towards sure start centres, libraries etc (assuming the government hasn't shut them all down Hmm ).

Breastfeeding mums need spaces where everyone around them is breastfeeding too; where they can have focused support and the group doesn't descend into endless requests for help with making up formula, or snide comments in either direction.

It's all just a bit shite at the moment.

Daisies123 · 28/02/2017 21:49

Thank you Captain yes those are pages I'd already found, but neither of them mention combination feeding from very early on (which I had to because my milk hadn't come in) and go on about introducing a bottle reducing supply (again, opposite was true in my case). Both pages make it sound like you're using the bottle as a convenience, rather than a necessity, which is one of those things that really messes with your head when you thought you'd be EBF and it was the natural thing to do.

I would have loved to see honest advice in advance of birth about the pros and cons of both BF and FF, possible problems with both, medical conditions/births that might make BF difficult, info about tongue tie that can affect both, how to supplement with formula in the early days until your supply comes in etc. All I got was BF propaganda with no info that turned out to be useful.

DD had a severe tongue tie which was snipped in the hospital before we initially went home because at that point she was EBF. If she hadn't been they wouldn't have done it, yet it causes problems for bottle fed babies too. No one mentioned that not snipping it until day 3 meant she hadn't been latching effectively before that and another reason my milk was delayed.

I've already mentioned the problems I had getting info about FF out of the Midwives, who were all promoting solely BF. I had no clue about FF as I hadn't thought I'd be doing it. We really need infant feeding specialists who can advise on both.

DianaMemorialJam · 28/02/2017 22:00

mini do you have a retort about the quote I took from one of your earlier posts yet? I see you skimmed past that one. Smile

DianaMemorialJam · 28/02/2017 22:05

Has anyone made a list of the benefits of ffing yet?

I can smoke
I get to go on nights out when I like
My period came back straight away
I can leave the babies all day with dh/anyone else
I can wear my sexy bras again (although I have to say when I researched bfing bras when I had ds1 I was very impressed- when tried bfing him my boobs were huuuuge! Think that's normal though)

Especially after ds2 I had a real need to 'get my body back'. They are a year apart and I found being pregnant for so long so close together and going through birth/ c section/ etc, I was so touched out. I do think I am quite a clinical person in some ways and see feeding as - nourishment. You're fed so that's great iyswim.

I realise not all of these are relevant when feeding an older child before I get jumped on

skerrywind · 28/02/2017 22:09

*I can smoke
I get to go on nights out when I like
My period came back straight away
I can leave the babies all day with dh/anyone else
I can wear my sexy bras again *

Benefits? Hmm

DianaMemorialJam · 28/02/2017 22:10

Although it looks like advice has changed and smoking is ok now. I didn't know that! I was told a couple of years ago the nicotine is in the milk.. Confused

InsaneMummyOfThree · 28/02/2017 22:10

Nannyoggsknickers, I'm sorry if you thought my post was snide but that wasn't how it was meant. I have full understanding of what it's like to be one of those women who so desperately wants to bf but can't due to everything and anything getting in the way. Emcs, poor latch, lip tie, thrush, mastitis. I tried to work through it all to feed my little one and had to give formula otherwise she would have starved!!! Iv been there in that dark place, I know. The word you chose to ignore in my post was "choices". A women who makes the choice to FF is different to one who has no choice due to circumstances, as also stated in my post. Iv seen friends and family agonising over the fact that they have no choice but to "give up" ( just for your information, I hate that term as it implies that you have failed ). The women I am talking about are women who are all out bf bashers, slagging bf mums off and calling them hippies. My sister is one of those women!!!! She was point blank adamant that she was FF because bf is disgusting, makes you have saggy boobs and she wanted her fella to take his turn with night feeds. When her baby was born she told me she secretly tried to latch baby on!!! I do see jealousy in her and her comments towards me now I'm still feeding my 2yr old son. Iv also seen this in FF mums at baby groups, trying to justify their choice. When people see me bfing they feel like they have to explain why they are FF and ask inappropriate questions. I couldn't care how anyone else feeds their babies. Like I said though, I know that sister knows that breast milk is nutritionally better than formula. The same as she knows vegetables are nutritionally better then big macs!!!

DianaMemorialJam · 28/02/2017 22:10

They're all benefits for me, skerry. Smile

Ponderingprivately · 28/02/2017 22:15

Mini where is this anti- breastfeeding core that you speak of? Pretty much no one on this thread has said that breastfeeding has no real benefits or that it is not a good thing. Just about everyone, however, has said that formula is a totally acceptable alternative to breast milk if a woman cannot (or does not want to) breastfeed.

captainproton · 28/02/2017 22:17

Diana, you wont find information on early combination feeding. evidence shows for some women introducing formula in the early weeks before feeding is properly established can lead to loss of supply.

I can only state that to a mother enquiring, she may be lucky and she may not. It's up to her what she chooses to do. My role is to give information to empower the mother to decide what to do.

captainproton · 28/02/2017 22:18

And before anyone starts my eldest two both had formula within the first 48 hours and beyond until they were well enough to exclusively BF.

DianaMemorialJam · 28/02/2017 22:18

What is the medication that they give you to make it stop? They gave me that when it started to become painful this time round. I was in a bit of a newborn haze recovering from a section and didn't think to ask what was in it

skerrywind · 28/02/2017 22:18

Being able to smoke is a benefit? And having periods back quickly a benefit?

TinselTwins · 28/02/2017 22:19

Erm, no. It's not safe to hold a baby for some time after smoking. Even if you go outside to do it. Regardless of how they're fed.

DianaMemorialJam · 28/02/2017 22:20

Dopamine I think

DianaMemorialJam · 28/02/2017 22:22

Tinsel I'm aware of that Hmm it's jut I read somewhere that nicotine infiltrates the milk. It must have been wrong. And yes, for me, smoking is a benefit.

Skerry having them back meant my second son was conceived. My surprise. We nearly lost him, he is my wee miracle.

captainproton · 28/02/2017 22:23

I don't know what medication they give new mothers to stop milk coming in. We don't prescribe medication, if a mother wants to wean an older child we'd suggest slowly cutting down on feeds and avoid over stimulating the breasts.

DianaMemorialJam · 28/02/2017 22:23

Sorry Tinsel the benefit bit was supposed to be for Skerry don't know what happened there!

TinselTwins · 28/02/2017 22:23

so you don't hold your baby if you don't BF? Hmm… because that's the only way that FFing "allows" you to smoke

DianaMemorialJam · 28/02/2017 22:25

Obviously I can't completely avoid them being subjected to '3rd hand smoke'. But I take measures to minimise it. I already said I was mistaken about it infiltrating the milk so...

DianaMemorialJam · 28/02/2017 22:27

I guess if they want a bottle I don't have to hold them on me? If I was splitting hairs. Like I said, I realise that was incorrect information.

captainproton · 28/02/2017 22:27

Ah Diana, although for some BF does suspend fertility it certainly does not always do this. I am thinking of my middle miracle baby. I had no period and a back-to-back pregnancy.

skerrywind · 28/02/2017 22:28

diana so you conceived quickly after birth- how does that fit in with the smoking though?
If you are suggesting that you became pregnant so quickly was a benefit of not breastfeeding them unless you smoked during your subsequent pregnancy then you didn't get the " benefit" of smoking.

I think it's scraping the barrel somewhat to describe a benefit of formula feeding is being able to smoke fags.

DianaMemorialJam · 28/02/2017 22:28

Captain I realise it's not an exact science Hmm

I was jus saying, anecdotally, how it was the best thing for me.

DianaMemorialJam · 28/02/2017 22:29

*just

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