Fed is Best!!!!!!

[HotDawg123]

If you choose to breast feed - good for you
If you choose to bottle feed - good for you
But if you choose to be a breast feeding warrior and look at those who choose to bottle feed as scum then I hope you slip in dog shit tomorrow.

The amount of horrible women I've come across who are like this is too many now. And as I am heavily pregnant and have hormone rage it is really pissing me off.

Thank you for listening.

I think every single female on the planet knows that breast milk which Is made and produced Within the female body is THE absolute best thing to be feeding a new born baby. We all know it is. But just because BREASTMILK is best it doesn't mean that BREASTFEEDING is. Of course there are scenarios and situations where mothers turn to formula and that is fine. We are all just doing our best. I would always advocate for breastfeeding but if someone said they were bottle feeding it makes no difference to me. I do think alot of FF who get offended by breastfeeding are the ones who feel guilty because they know breast milk IS better than formula and are not 100% happy with their choices. If you are happy with your choice of feeding method, get on with it and don't worry about anyone else. X

Good post februaryrat.

I reached out for support before paying for a private lactation consultant I was handed a recipe for lactation cookies. I was 5 days post c section, anaemia (borderline transfusion) I was alternating between attempting to breast feed, topping up with a cup that took ages to do then expressing and then washing s sterilising all equipment for it started all over again. How was giving me a recipe helpful.
It took private paid help to point out the 90% tongue tie, hypoplasia, hormone issues, pph and medication I have to take meant that breast feeding was never going to work.
When a stranger looks at your child and says things like failing to thrive you do what you have to

There was no breastfeeding support in my town (still the case now). I was handed a list of other local sources of support but they were all several miles away. I didn't feel safe driving having been up all night cluster feeding, and later on feeding, then pumping, sterilising etc, so I couldn't access support further away. DH doesn't drive so couldn't get me there.
Oh, and all the support shut down for two weeks over Christmas!

I eventually went to a breastfeeding cafe when DD was about two months and found the lactation consultant helpful, but the other women there much less so (the looks I got having fed DD on both sides and then got out a bottle!).

The breastfeeding support at local children's centres isn't very good. At about nine months I asked for advice about DD biting but the staff had only done a basic course and just googled for the same info I'd already found.

@minifingerz Yes, my point was every woman's definition of acceptable is different.

On a personal note I overcame a number of hurdles with my two: overactive letdown, 4 x blocked ducts, mastitis, tongue tie, poor latch, baffled experts. I tried harder with breastfeeding than I did for my A levels (and I got 4 A's!).

BUT everyone's circumstances are different. I'm proud of myself for managing to breastfeed but I am likely not as good in other areas. We have the TV on far too much and when the weather is cold I know we're guilty of not getting enough exercise with the children. I have made peace with that too!

If you can breastfeed, you should, but the definition of "can't" can only be made by the individual.

I don't know why I read this thread.

I breastfed for 8 weeks. When my DC was six weeks old, I got ill, was given antibiotics, and my milk started drying up. I did everything I could to get my supply back up but nothing worked.

When she was nine weeks old, I had a choice of giving her formula or letting her starve. What else was I meant to do?

This thread is so upsetting to read.

What lifestyle don't be upset. You fed your baby with breastmilk and formula and you did great because she grew! There is a very opinionated core about this subject on Mumsnet - don't worry about anyone else's opinion.

I have a 4 week old formula fed baby. I was going to breastfeed but after losing half my blood volume in a PPH my milk has never come in. I have had comments and looks and I have also used the mantra 'fed is best'.

Never judge anyone for their choices until you have walked in their shoes. As long as baby is happy, healthy, fed and loved people shouldn't care if you fed them bloody unicorn milk.

I do think alot of FF who get offended by breastfeeding are the ones who feel guilty because they know breast milk IS better than formula and are not 100% happy with their choices.

Some people have no choice!!!!

whatlife Don't feel bad. You made the best choice for your baby. Don't Lat the damaging rhetoric of some on here get to you. You did the right thing. She'll be fine. She'll be no different to any other baby. Don't let bitchy people with a moral crusade get you down.

Insane That is perhaps the most snidely post I think I've seen recently. Slow clap for being so sneery. Please try to remember that there a real women reading this. Some in very dark places because of feeding issues. Well done for making them feel like crap.

Thanks, Pondering and Nanny. Logically, I know I did the only thing I could in the circumstances. Emotionally, it's a whole different story.

It's a good few months ago now, and I thought I was over being upset by it until this recent debate.

That's the projection you're putting onto it Nanny. It didn't read as sneery at all to me. Women do get defensive from a place of hurt/pride/disappointment. I was perfectly happy with my choice to stop BFing my first and moved to formula at 5 weeks, so I didn't try and tear down breastfeeders or deny biological truths. I still agreed breast is best, I just wasn't doing it because it wasn't working out. There is no shame in any way of feeding your baby. Be happy and confident in choices you make, don't take anything to do with breastfeeding to heart as it isn't the choice you made/route you could take.

I'm not attacking anyone or trying to deny 'biological truths'. I'm just saying that the language used around infant feeding, especially in these posts is upsetting and potentially damaging. I'm really glad you had a good, guilt free experience. Sadly, as many posts on this thread illustrate, that is often not the case. There is a huge weight of judgement behind the opinions expressed when discussing infant feeding.

I'm also not willing to blindly accept people's opinions as fact. Telling an FF mother that she feels bad because she knows she's doing the wrong thing is such a crap thing to do. It reeks of superiority and has an air of mean girls about it.

Maybe women who have to or choose the FF wouldn't get so offended by crappy comments if people didn't make them. I'm not sure how it's possible not to be offended by someone who is heavily implying that you are a bad mother. What twats those people are. It smacks of someone who is small minded and very insecure- choose what chose to reinforce how great I am.

Agreed, bottle feed shaming is getting ridiculous. Go you if you could breastfeed. I've never been fortunate enough to be able.

Being made to feel like shit over this like I didn't try hard enough have me massive depression

Hugs to you flowery. Don't let bitchy wankers make you feel ashamed. It speaks more about them than it does about you.

Nanny I understand your point about the wording of comments (from both 'sides' I'll add) but we're now at the stage that BF mums/supporters can't say anything without being jumped on. This means that BF education to society in general just isn't happening and has to be contributing to the lack of support/confidence BF mums who are struggling are facing.

It seems to me that there is no way to normalise BF because it can't be spoken about and there's no way to educate all the misconceptions, particularly those touted by older generations who are so often the first point of contact for BF mums who are finding it difficult. I appreciate that FF feel that BF is shoved in their faces but how can the balance be struck?

That's a great question, tea

Maybe the answer is this:

'How do you feed your baby?'

'Don't worry about it mate'.

Job done!

But seriously, I understand where you're coming from.

"I'm not attacking anyone"
"Bitchy wankers"

It's not about silencing people who advocate for BF. It is all about changing to language around infant feeding. The support given to new mothers should be supportive, non-judgmental feeding advice. You might find that women who wouldn't consider BF might take to it if it was a less pressurised choice.

I would like to see feeding consultants who have more training and who can, if a mother needs to or wants to, advise how to mixed feed or switch to formula. If that is what is right for mother and baby then that's the advice they should get.

I'd also like to see less bullshit from both sides about the amazing, glorious benefits of one vs the other. FF won't make your baby sleep longer. BF won't make your child a genius. The only way to bust those myths is if support in the community wasn't so outrageously one sided.

I never want another woman to slip into depression because she know her baby is slowly starving but she feels to guilty too give formula. How is that allowed to happen?

ryan I meant I wasn't attacking BF mothers (I am one) or advocates in general. People who make horrible comments have brought this on themselves. Don't want to be criticised? Then don't be a twat.

whatlifestylechoice: Some people are thoughtless toasters. Don't let them get you down. You have done your absolute best for your baby and it is none of anyone else's business whatsoever.

*tossers not toasters

Trifle I have a very thoughtless toaster. It takes 5 minutes to get the perfect slice