Pregnancy After Infertility IV

[Blueroses99]

Pregnancy after infertility or fertility treatment can be a scary place, from scanxiety to unexplained bleeding to other random symptoms.

We are a supportive group of women across all stages of pregnancy who are used to being on the wrong side of the odds and still can't believe it's really happening.

Previous thread here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2755564-Pregnancy-after-infertility-III

So sorry madgwick and hope

Very sorry to read this madgwick and hope.

Look after yourselves - such a difficult thing to go through xx

Hope, oh no I'm so sorry. Life really is s* sometimes. Take things gently xx
I'm not sure if it will help you but I found it really helped me to talk to friends and family about what had happened. The responses of love and support and tales of similar experiences (snd in some cases what to be prepared for) have been massively helpful in making us both feel like we are not going through this alone.

Thank you all for your good wishes everyone. Surgery was ok and home recovering now, glad it's over xx

Oh hope that's awful news for you I'm so sorry to hear that. This process is such an emotional rollercoaster. Thinking of you x

Fourpaws - thinking of you today x

Thank you everyone for all your kind words and support. Life is just so cruel to show you how close you can get then take it away again.

Thank you for that advice madgewick we told our close family today and they have all been very supportive.

It still hasnt properly sunk in yet i dont think, one minute i'm sobbing the next nothing.

Maybe i will be joining you all again one day. Take care everyone xxx

Hi all. Haven't posted on here for months and months, and feel a bit of an arsehole to just bowl in now, but clearly not enough of an arsehole to not...!!

Reached 37 weeks yesterday, but last night in bed was gripped by The Fear that we're never going to meet the baby, that something dreadful is going to happen and this isn't real and it'll all vanish - and we'll be left with a load of 'stuff' and it'll all have been for nothing. Feel like I've had a lid on all the anxiety, and since 32 weeks have been acting like a normal pregnant woman. But last night it was like a thunderbolt of fear and if I think about the real life baby (rather than the bump) I feel sick. I feel like the baby is only safe so long as it's inside me, and having it will be such a risk to its little life.

How do people cope with this shit?!!

Icy - good to hear things are going well. Every parent I know tells me having a child means constant worry. I think the ivf worry, then the will the pregnancy continue worry, then the will the baby be OK worry may all possibly be dwarfed by just endless general worry for as long as we get to be parents. Its the ultimate double edged sword; immeasurable love for immeasurable worry. I think what you feel is this total vulnerability now that you are so close and there is so little that can be controlled. But you are on the edge of the greatest love and most momentous life change that is momentous precisely because of all this worry. My neighbours are having their son's first birthday party today. They look so happy. And what was my first thought? Will I ever get to that stage? Not what fun that'll be for us. I look at the nursery too and think have I been to hasty? Its endless worry. But this isn't just dipping our toes in the water is it? It's full on and you're so close now. I regularly weep with the utter fear and shock of it all but underneath all this is this little growing warmth and spreading happiness that I think could overwhelm me if I let it. At the end of the day think we just have to remember what our bodies have been through to get here the drugs, hormones procedures endless hoops. But I get the next stage is just as scarey if not more so. Sorry not been more coherent. Tired today. Trying to say you are going to be amazing because of these fear thunderbolts. X

Icy - the fear is normal, it really is. There are moments if will crush but the likelihood is that it won't crush you all the time. Accept it as normal and know it will pass

I spent my entire pregnancy never believing this would happen for me. Even at his first cry I didn't believe it was possible I'd get to take him home. But I did. The likelihood is you will too. But it just may not be safe enough to believe that yet. That's ok. I don't regret not enjoying my pregnancy, I needed to feel that way to feel safe

Icy it's really normal to worry, but you'll be grand - 3 weeks to go till icebaby arrives!

I hope you're putting your feet up and catching some z's in readiness. Make sure you update us on the birth, we want all the gory details!

icy I was exactly the same, a lot of anxiety hit me in the last few weeks. I'd worry about his movements a lot, or just anything really. I know easier said than done but hang in there and try to relax as much as you can. Big hugs to you

Thanks - glad it's not just me with fear thunderbolts. Losing the baby doesn't bear thinking about and yet it's an undercurrent to everything - like a kind of dark cloud of dread that I don't let myself even begin to imagine. But otoh I don't let myself start to imagine having a baby either. Trying to be buddhist and 'present' from now on. You're right - there's nothing to do about it either way - just breathe and keep focussing on the here and now. Easier said than done of course!

Icy, I am exactly the same. I have 4 days left after today until due date and I still panic what if something goes wrong with the birth etc. I don't think we will ever fully relax until they are in our arms and then I bet that will bring a whole new set of worries.

Lucie! 4 days!!!!
Good luck lovely Xx

Ps. I can confirm that the worry doesn't end when they're born! Lol. X

Thanks Sammy! Getting scary although no real signs of it coming anytime soon so I think it's going to be late.

Hello ladies, can I very tentatively join you? I recognise quite a few names on here from infertility threads... Wow Lucie, 4 days?!! Amazing! Sammy, mpp, friends - if you're still lurking, CONGRATULATIONS! Trixie, hi!

I totally shouldn't be joining a pregnancy thread as it's very very early days and I'm all too aware of the high chance of miscarriage etc. However, I just got my first ever bfp on Saturday after 31 months ttc. We have mild mfi and I also have 4 fibroids. We did 3 cycles of Clomid + trigger + TI last summer which didn't work and then an ivf round in Jan/Feb which was cancelled before egg collection due to over stimulation. In a bizarre miracle that I can't quite believe, I've just got a natural bfp whilst waiting for my period to start microgynon for ivf round 2. Still feeling a bit dazed and analysing EVERYTHING - freaking out about both abdominal twinges and lack of twinges (today no twinges ). Anyway, I am 4+5 today and I know how ridiculously early that is, but I needed somewhere to display express how crazy I am. And ask what am I supposed to be feeling at this stage? My breasts are feeling v full and tender, I get mild abdominal pains to the left a couple of days ago but that seems to have eased off now. Otherwise I feel very very normal. Anyone have symptoms this early?

OMG Star, soooo happy to see you here, I had been lurking on the 18+ thread on/off to see how you were doing but not checked the last few days. I don't really remember having symptoms that early on other than metallic taste in mouth.

Congratulations fourpaws and longdistance

Good luck Lucie!

I thought and were standard at John Lewis, we had it when we did our wedding list there too, maybe it is just the stores we went to (Oxford Circus/Blue Water) or maybe the lady took pity on me as I had a dizzy spell halfway through our appointment and had to be sat down with a cold water.

Pebbles we haven't bought anything from John Lewis yet (was hard though as I wanted to buy everything then and there). We've got a list of items we were interested in and are going to shop around a bit first.

These round ligament pains aren't fun are they, don't mind the pain but it really worries me. Has everyone else had them on/off, am 27+ 3 today.

Star, amazing to see you here!! Congratulations lovely I really hope everything goes well for you. I think the sore boobs were my main symptom that early on. Nausea and sickness started somewhere between 6-7 weeks for me although many don't get it at all. You might have a few twinges and things where the embryo is still burrowing in. So pleased for you and keep us posted. Will you book an early scan? My first was 7.5 weeks.

Trixie, I didn't really have a lot of round ligament pain apart from occasionally when sneezing but lots of women do and it's completely normal so try not to worry too much. Mention it to your midwife next time you see here and hopefully she can put your mind at rest.

Icy I have the fear as well most of the time I can be normal but sometimes it hits me. We've chosen the nursery furniture we want but the idea of buying it and putting it up scares me. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time.

Lucie not long now even if you go over! Good luck

Star congratulations, at that stage I had sore boobs and felt nauseous but everyone is different

Trixie think I need to try a different John Lewis I didn't get when we did our wedding list either! I get the odd round ligament pain and do find them a bit disconcerting

I'm 29 weeks today and have been having hip pain on and off for the last few days, anyone had this and have any tips?

Thanks ladies, that's reassuring to know you didn't feel much at this stage. I think I will drop back to lurking for a few weeks until this feels a little more real.

All the very best to you all with your pregnancies. And lucie good luck!!!!

Congrats Star how exciting!
Custard and just Trixie - I have the pelvic girdle pains hurts down inner thighs after sitting\driving. Midwife reassuringly stated it will only get worse! Going to start swimming next week see if it helps. Am finding keeping moving helps.
Am 27 weeks now time has sped up again! First antenatal class tonight to look forward to. Hi to all.

Sorry to hear you're suffering pain too Custard and Sara, hopefully it improves. Another annoying symptom I've had is uncontrollable leg/foot twitches at night. Seems to be worse if I'm over tired so trying to get to bed early and have a bath before bed to relax.

You're just behind me Sara agree re time speeding up! Enjoy your class. Ours aren't until July so I have ordered some books to read in the meantime as I feel so clueless.

Hopefully see you back very soon Star even at nearly 28 weeks it still doesn't feel real sometimes. Hopefully the time until your first scan goes nice and quickly. Realised in my excitement I didn't actually say congratulations before! Congratulations!

Star!!!!! Congratulations!!! I'm so pleased for you, amazing news :)
That has cheered me up no end while I sit here with a poorly baby. Xx

Star congratulations,

Sammy are you Ok? How's baby this morning.