Summer Babies for the Sub-Fertile

[Lolly2803]

Hi ladies! Starting a new thread for those of us who have spent a while on the infertility board while going trough various treatments and are technically pregnant but too scared to join a pregnancy thread!

xxxxx

bear I do it too but ill wake up tomorrow feeling pregnant or my boobs will hurt later.

I'm most definitely on the count down now, Monday is going to be an arse because it is so late in the day. I'll be annoying myself by lunch time!

Missed your post lolly
Umm one minute I'm preparing myself for the worst the next I'm confident. I'm just ready to know where everything is ok. I'm not going this long without a scan again. I'm looking at booking another for around 15 weeks. I think I'm going to need constant reassurance

Constant reassurance is the name of the game in this house. You have done very well to hold out but I'm sure all will be well. I keep trying to remind myself of the statistics at this stage - the odds are well in our favour! xx

it's so weird to me that I might be telling work next week. I was mentally working up to telling them when I miscarried last April at 10 weeks so it's kind of like I've been in suspended animation since then, trying to get back to that point...

Eeek another big week for the thread next week! So exciting.
Totally with you ladies on the constant reassurance and scans!
I am booking another scan for 16 weeks as I just can't wait until my 20 week scan. I got all my appointments for the whole pregnancy through the post yesterday. Felt really weird!!
I haven't got to the confident stage or feeling yet. I feel like things are going too well for us at the moment and it scares me as we aren't used to it!! I'm feeling pregnant still. The nausea had reduced from constant all day and night to now just waves off and on.

I told my work this week. People really excited! Felt a bit weird telling people as I was so used to it being a secret! Dreamt of the day for so long and now it's here it feels surreal.

Lolly I bet it's seriously weird! There's no reason why it can't continue to go well for you though. My friends were told that they would be very, very unlikely to get pregnant through IVF (host of immune issues, PCOS and male factor) and they decided to have one more go before looking into surrogacy versus adoption. Their little twin boys are 4 months old now. xx

See stories like that make me feel better!! I try to tell myself this works for people all the time, why shouldn't it work for us. But it's just hard isn't it.
I just feel so lucky that it feels too good to be true!!

It's not too good to be true, you were still unlucky enough to have to go through all the years of heartache, treatment and all the expense. It's finally paying off! xx

Oh totally know what you mean about the anxiety... it's constant.
Tried telling DH I would be less anxious when babies here but he didn't believe me!
My scan is Tuesday too... coming around quickly now..!

You know, when I was pregnant with DD I wasn't anxious at all, and I don't think I'm a particularly anxious parent. This past year and this pregnancy has done me in! At least when baby is here you will be on a level playing field with all the other new mums losing the plot together ;o)

Another Tuesday scan - roll on next week! (And you won't often catch me wishing away the weekend) xx

Very true Bear!
Eeek a very busy week next week for the thread. Hopefully lots of lovely news!!

I'm the same as you bear when I pregnant with DD I don't remember any aniexty. She was a surprise pregnancy so took some getting used too but after that it was just excitement.
I don't really remember the pregnancy now though.
I remember labour though and oddly I'm quite looking forward to that bit

I've been having weird stabbing/pinching pains all day. Do you think I should be worried?

Nope! I always have weird pains like that. I think it's just stretching and growing.

When I was in A&E they said only to come back if they were severe pains. xxx

Try not to worry unless really bad I would say. I'm freaked out as I haven't felt anything for a while. Damned if you do, damned it you don't! X

I second that Bear! Yesterday, no cramps at all. Today period like aches all afternoon. Which I've had off and on for weeks. Weird!!

I've been having that all the time mistletoe. After yesterday I have to just assume it's fine even tho I was worried before. But bear's right, as soon as they stop I also worry as I don't feel pregnant lol. Anxiety central!! X

Ps lolly it must be lovely telling everyone esp work - I keep imagining that day! X

I told my boss and HR really early on so they could plan to keep my mat cover as he was contracted to finish end Jan and now they have extended him. Occupational health had already warned them there was a possibility that I might finish work 12-14w in any future pregnancy. Everyone else I'm telling now, but it's a bit odd also having to tell them that my last day is next week on 1st Feb!

It is very weird as honestly I struggled to see the day it would actually happen. I'm still worried so it's a bit of a weird feeling. But it is really nice at the same time.

wow Blue that's so soon!! Omg!!! xxx

Thanks for the reassurance ladies.

To be honest I'm having a shit week.

My employer, who I have been honest with, has decided to change my hours. So instead of working 3 days a week I now have to work 5. All of which are afternoons/early evening/weekend which they know is completely unmanageable with childcare. It's like their forcing me out my job. I don't know which way to turn. I can't afford not to work (part time) but they hours now want it's not worth working as it'll cost a fortune in childcare. I literally have no idea what to do They know I don't need added stress and yet they've done this

Mistletoe that's awful! Surely they can't do that especially now you're pregnant. I'd look into that somehow, find out what your rights are and flag with HR maybe? I'm pretty sure that's not right. Don't let them get away with it!!

They're on really dodgy ground there mistletoe given that you're pregnant - it looks a lot like discrimination/constructive dismissal. What did your manager say when you explained that the change won't work for you given your childcare arrangements?

Definitely seek legal advice if they persist with it even after you make your position and needs clear. But as you say, you could really do without the extra stress. Sending you support. What dickheads xxx

Thanks both.

They sent the new rota via email as I'm off sick until next week. I told them about the pregnancy very early days mostly because I'd didn't want to lie about appointments etc.

I have sent a reply which basically says I have been reassured previously that working hours wouldn't change and that i can't help but feel that if I wasn't off sick this wouldn't of happened. All in posh terms

I also sent it to HR.

I've been having a look round the Internet and right away it's discrimination so I think I'm going to discuss with ACAS in the morning and see what they suggest to do.

I genuinely thought I worked for a good company but clearly not. (Bunch of bastards)

I think it maybe because the job I do has a heavy seasonal trade and I think they are trying to push me out in order to have a replacement in for when it picks up March time rather than a change of staff in June. Dickheads!

Apologies for foul language, it makes me feel better.

Misteltoe I'm so sorry that you're gong through that Please do get advise from ACAS and other employment specialists as it definitely sounds like you have cause for a grievance. Good luck and feel free to vent on here in the meantime xx

Morning all.

Spoke to ACAS bang on 8am, haven't really slept because it's playing on my mind
ACAS have said to see what reply I get from them to start with. I have been singled out so definately have grounds to raise a grievance and their actions could be seen as discrimination.
So just a waiting game to see what they reply now.
I really did not need this