Summer Babies for the Sub-Fertile

[Lolly2803]

Hi ladies! Starting a new thread for those of us who have spent a while on the infertility board while going trough various treatments and are technically pregnant but too scared to join a pregnancy thread!

xxxxx

Well I'll be thinking of you and sending you lots of positive vibes. Would you consider Harmony or another similar test regardless?
Hoping it all goes well for you. Let us know how you get on. Sending lots of love xxx

Good luck eastegg! Try to remember it's a whole new pregnancy xx

Good luck egg Thinking of you today

I'm after some opinions this morning if that's ok.

When would you tell existing children about the pregnacy?

DD is 7 and I think I want to tell her after the 12 weeks scan?

I feel guilty for keeping it from her and if all is well after the scan she'll be the only one who doesn't know.

DP wants to leave it as long as possible which is understandable but I want her to be able to enjoy this with us rather than hushed conversations.

Dp's reservations are based on "what if something goes wrong" which I totally understand but nothing is guaranteed.

Any opinion would be appreciated

Good luck Egg!!

Mistletoe We're waiting as long as possible to tell our DD but she has only just turned 3. If anything were to go wrong she just doesn't have the understanding and I don't want to cause her upset. She does understand that big tummies = baby though.

I wouldn't feel guilty about keeping it from her and that she is the last to know. She's a child and you're protecting her.
xx

Good luck egg

Mistletoe I think it might depend on your child. You know her best - at 7 do you think she could understand and emotionally manage that it's unlikely but possible that things might not work out? I reckon some kids could and some probably not at that age. If you think no then defo don't feel guilty about protecting her for a while longer until you feel more confident - she'll still have plenty of time to enjoy it with you!

Thanks for the replies.

With her being that bit older she's very aware of things going on around her. She's already making comments that my boobs and tummy are different. Not a lot gets past her. I want to be able to tell her rather than her asking.
It's such a difficult decision to make. I want to make sure we're safe before we tell her but are we ever truly safe. Ahhh so hard

Glad everything is ok with you Bear. Everyone - be careful on stairs!!

Good luck today East.

Mistletoe can't speak from experience but I do attend Sands groups where parents have other children and it seems that with accepting the new baby as part of the family is quite important, even if they go on to have a loss - being able to celebrate anniversaries, say their name etc. Obv not expecting that to happen to you, but i would say sit down and talk about it when you're ready.

It's a really tricky one. Are you having NIPT at all? I would probably feel safer after 12 week if I knew baby definitely had no issues, as then the risks really are very small. If she's already making comments you might have to go with it.

I know my DD knows something is up - I go mental at her if she launches herself at my belly, and I no longer pick her up. But that has been the case on and off for the whole of last year and still no baby in the house so maybe she's not made the association.

Good Luck egg!!

Mistletoe I can't really offer any advice as I don't have any children and have no idea what I would do! I think as Bear says maybe after the NIPT I would consider telling them, if everything else looked good. But think it's so personal so whatever is best for you xx

Bear are you having the NIPT? You can have it from now right? xxx

Hi Lolly we're not going to pay for it now as Kings offer Harmony for free if you are moderate-high risk. DD from the same batch of embryos came back super low risk so that makes me feel better. I would like to find out the sex but can't justify it just for that ;o)

Ah ok that's good of them! Fingers crossed all ok, I'm sure it will be fine.
Haha, are you going to find out the sex when you can then? xxx

Yep we will find out this time. We didn't with DD and it weirded me out a bit. We were convinced she was a boy and obviously were happy she was a girl but it was really odd! It might also be nice to tell her if she's getting a brother or sister. xx

Aw it is exciting! I do love finding out what people are having.

Although weirdly despite that I think DH and I have decided if we get that far that we won't find out. I feel like nothing in this whole process has been natural or a surprise in a way. I feel like I know way too much about making a baby and I'd quiet like not knowing something for once!! We also don't have either so it really doesn't matter!!

I can totally understand people finding out though!! It will be hard to resist!!

Yep we will be have NIPI but now I've thought about it, the midwife asked if we wanted them but didn't say when they'd be done.
DD's downs screen came back as 1:535000. That was all they offered back then though.

I'm another who would find out the sex. Mostly because I still have a lot of DD's things. Even if this one is boy it'll be bathed in a pink baby bath . If all is well I will be aiming to reuse a lot of things, even my buggy is fine.

lolly will you find out the sex of the babies?

Totally get that lolly that's basically why we didn't find out last time.

Mistletoe nothing wrong with that! We've always avoided pink as much as poss so prob don't even need to buy anything. My curiosity is just getting the better of me xx

Checking in quickly to say I 've had a good scan. High background risk of Downs because of my age brought down to 1:377 after scan and bloods, and well below 1:1000 for other trisomies. Compared to last time this is wonderful. Still offered Harmony though cos it's higher than 1:1000 for Downs. Decided to have Harmony.

It was so hairy in there. Sonographer took ages quadruple checking the nuchal measurement and I really sensed something was wrong. She said afterwards she was being extra careful because of my history.

I know from experience that you can't tell everything from this scan, but wow am I feeling better.

Will read everyone's updates properly later as I've got to dash into town now.

Thanks for all the good luck wishes!

That's so good Eastegg, and the Harmony should set your mind at rest. Congratulations xx

Brilliant egg! I'm sure the Harmony test will put your mind at rest. xxx

Egg fab news.

I'm finding each day I'm getting more positive. Even found myself looking on amazon today at baby stuff

That's great, Mistletoe. I feel the same too. I'll be 11 weeks tomorrow, and plenty of people have their '12 week scan' at 11 weeks then announce to everyone, so it feels like I'm on much more solid ground.

Cheers to that! xx

Me too Mistletoe! Well I've been looking at a couple of things and then getting scared so clicking off...haha!
I'm 13 weeks today! This time next week we'll have had our scan and be telling people. I'm getting really excited!

Hope you ladies are having a nice weekend so far. xxxx

Just popping on to say a huge hello and congratulations to Lolly on your twins! So pleased things are going well for you and keeping everything crossed for a great scan result next week!

And to Mistletoes my old PCOS thread buddy from back in the days before IVF! Congratulations lovely, so pleased to see things are working out for you too.

I'm now 17+1 and we were able to hear our baby's heartbeat at our 16 week midwifes appointment this week- which was incredible. Now just the loooong wait to our 20 week scan on 10th Feb.

Hello rosebud ah so pleased to see your upduffed too. Can I ask how you Concieved? I struggled being on the threads seeing everyone getting pregnant and all I was doing was getting pregnant and not staying. This is another clomid baby and I have very thing crossed all will be fine.

Ha lolly I do the same, it's like a rein myself back in.

DP made me chuckle today. He's now calling the scan "the big 12" and he's definitely on the count down now

Thanks Rose! I still can't quiet believe it myself! Think it will feel real when we start telling people.
So glad your pregnancy is going well. Can't believe you're 17weeks!! I'd say thats gone quickly but I know it won't have for you!
Hope you're relaxed and enjoying it all.

xxx

Mistletoe This pregnancy is from our third round of IVF. We did conceive both previous times doing IVF too but they sadly ended in an MC and an MMC and ERPC. It has made me extremely anxious about this pregnancy.
I'm so sorry to hear that you have been through losses too. It's just awful and so deeply unfair.

Lolly Thanks! Time is starting to go a bit quicker since our 12 week scan, which makes a nice change! Still plenty of time to get worked up in between my 12 and 16 week appointments though
I've got a growing bump now though, which I'm loving. I'm sure you won't be far behind on the bump front with twinnies!